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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

yes I am being v unreasonable. Namechanged. Need telling off. Smoking.

31 replies

soashamedinamechanged · 26/04/2013 13:53

Cut down from 10 a day to 1 or 2 (max) a day until I was 12 weeks - non after scan and I saw my baby :)

PND - and I stupidly started again. Roughly 7 to 10 a day.

I know I'm pregnant. Just waiting for it to be confirmed at Dr's therefore it's been confirmed by POAS

It's been 4 days since I found out and I'm still smoking. But I have cut down. I'm so ashamed.

I've just had 1 and put it out half way through as I hate myself so much.

I want to stop. I don't want to use patches as I didn't last time.

Please tell me I can do this - and do it today!

My heart is racing at the bollocking I'm going to get on here :(

But I need to write it down or I'll just stay in denial

OP posts:

TheSurgeonsMate · 26/04/2013 13:55

Of course you can do it! You've just told us that you couldn't make it all the way through the cigarette you thought you wanted because you know it's the wrong thing to do. Job done. Just stop. Today.

jacks365 · 26/04/2013 13:59

You can do it. You did it before so you can do it again. I won't give you a bollocking this time but do it again and i will. Seriously though if you get the urge to smoke just come on here and we'll help you through it.

quirrelquarrel · 26/04/2013 13:59

Aw OP. You've done it before, you CAN do it again! Do it for yourself and your baby.

Don't worry love. Well done for posting on MN.....sounds like it wasn't easy for you.

Justforlaughs · 26/04/2013 14:01

Do you still have your scan pics from your DC? If so, get them out and look at them. You CAN do it, you know you can, you've done it before.

Original poster

soashamedinamechanged · 26/04/2013 14:02

Thanks for not bollocking me this time!

I.can.do.it! :)

OP posts:

EllieArroway · 26/04/2013 14:08

No bollocking from me.

Let's be logical. Are you really saying you CAN'T do something that you HAVE done before?

Really?

No. You're scared you can't do it - this is fear talking.

You did it before. You can do it again. It's as simple as that. No need to feel guilty, that is nothing but wasted energy. Start planning how you're going to stop - not whether you are or not, but how you are.

And congrats on the little new person :)

coffeewineandchocolate · 26/04/2013 14:12

My friend put a scan pic in her fag packet to remind her why she didn't want one. Every time she opened the packet she saw it and pot the packet away....

coffeewineandchocolate · 26/04/2013 14:12

Put the packet away. Pot would be another issue entirely

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 26/04/2013 14:12

Repeat out loud:

I don't smoke.

Apparently being told you can't do something is much less effective then being told that you don't do something when breaking a bad habit.

Can't releases the inner rebel, don't reprogrammes your thinking.

But you need to constantly reiterate it to yourself.

Congratulations BTW :)

EmmaBemma · 26/04/2013 14:13

Congratulations! You can stop. You did it before, you can do it again.

mumofweeboys · 26/04/2013 14:22

Get in touch with your mw/mw team. They have specially trained mw to help you and they wont judge, just be happy to help you

Pigsmummy · 26/04/2013 14:22

Go and do the Alan Carr course? It's a one day seminar, from 10ish to about 4pm. It really works, ask around and you might get a referral discount from someone who has done it too. If you can't find one locally try a session with a hyno therapist, they often do appointments in the evenings etc. You can do this, you deserve to enjoy your pregnancy guilt free and your wee baby deserves a healthy start. Good luck

FeckOffCup · 26/04/2013 14:29

You can do it, I managed to give up the day after I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant and didn't have another for the whole pregnancy. The thought that if I miscarried my very much wanted pregnancy it could be the cigarettes' fault was enough to scare me into quitting. You have done it before and you can do it again, but why don't you want to use the nicotine replacement therapy? If it helps to wean you off the cigs it can't be bad, have you conisidered using one of the electronic cigarettes as a short term replacement, you'll still get the inhaling sensation and the nicotine but not all the tobacco toxins.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 26/04/2013 14:58

Buy the Allen Carr book immediately and read it. It WILL help, I promise.

schmaddington · 26/04/2013 15:08

I would go to the smoking cessation nhs people and get yourself a nicotine gum prescription. I smoked all through my first pregnancy. I cut down to ten a day but that was still appalling, and I know that so don't need telling .I was determined to quit with this pregnancy. I am prescribed gum and I haven't touched a single cigarette. And it has been fairly easy. Cold turkey is too hard - I say make it easy on yourself.

FWIW, the gum is better than the patches, which didn't help me at all. You can do it.

CabbageLooking · 26/04/2013 15:15

When I stopped smoking I told myself that I hadn't quit smoking, I could smoke whenever I wanted it's just that RIGHT NOW I don't want to. So each time I went to pick up a cigarette I asked myself the question "do I want this"? A couple of times, I thought I did and smoked it but it was so massively disappointing that the next time I asked myself the question I really really didn't want it.

I did use the inhalator for a while but it looked so much like a tampon that I really wasn't willing to use it in public.

You'll get there. Good luck.

Dahlen · 26/04/2013 15:18

Have you tried the Allen Carr Easy Way to Give Up Smoking book? It's what I used when I started TTC and I haven't smoked since - many years hence.

pickledginger · 26/04/2013 15:21

You've done it before, you can do it again. One day at a time. Good luck.

MansView · 26/04/2013 15:27

I used to smoke - not heavy, say 3-4 rollies a day...

I tried to give up and failed...

what actually helped me give up (and quite easily)- what my frame of mind - as I wanted to give up as I was getting sick of it...
I think if you give up because you have to - whether it's for health reason, financial, or people telling you and you on't actually want to give up then you'll use any excuse to go back to them...

you need to realise they're a fucking waste of time - people say it's the only pleasure they have whilst coughing their guts up...wtf?

what was also hard for me was the routine of it all - as an example - I'd come home, havea rollie, relax, do some exercise then put some food on and have a rollie - I needed to substitute that missing step in my routine...once I overcame that too it was easy...never smoked since in a few years now :)

good luck

Charlesroi · 26/04/2013 15:46

Of course you can do it and it'll be a lot easier if you don't beat yourself up about it.

Go and buy an e-cig. You don't have to use it, but it will be one additional reason not to go and buy a packet of fags (you know - when your brain is arguing with itself and you feel a bit martyrish )

PS Congratulations!

CorrieDale · 26/04/2013 16:09

I used the lozenges when I gave up. The patches interfered with my sleep and you don't want that - the pregnancy itself will do that for you the lozenges worked well. They taste horrible - really really nasty - so no fear of getting addicted. But they helped me through. But actually I think it's like a previous poster said. It's fear that's getting to you now. Have you tried havening? Paul McKenna advocates it for helping with fear and stress. Google it and give it a try.

Tailtwister · 26/04/2013 16:22

Of course you can do it! You've done it before and will do it again. Good luck.

Crinkle77 · 26/04/2013 16:30

I am not going to bollock you. You have recognised that there is a problem and want to do something about it. It sounds like you have had a rough time with the PND so don't beat yourself up about it. Go to your doctors and they will refer you to your nearest smoking cessation team.

TheVDM · 26/04/2013 16:51

I won't give you a bollocking, but as a smoker who has given up and started too many times to remember I can tell you it's easy to give up for a few months, I just find it hard to stay a non smoker for some reason.

If you're having temptations try getting hold of Alan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, it worked for me once or twice (well for 6 months to a year at least)

You can do it, I believe in you!

mrsjay · 26/04/2013 16:53

how many are you smoking can you change to the lowest tar you can find silk cut or something and try and do it that way , or an e ciggie you won't get a bollocking from me you are trying very hard to give up a drug habit .

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