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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Yes I am lucky to be able to work from home

70 replies

MoaneyMcmoanmoan · 22/04/2013 05:40

No I cannot look after your DD while you go to work Angry Angry Angry.

No I cannot go out with you for the day. If I take a day off, I have to apply for it, just like you do.

No father-in-law, I am not happy you popped in for a coffee. I AM WORKING ffs.

And no I do not like all of you getting huffy when I repeatedly explain this to you.

OP posts:
OhTheConfusion · 22/04/2013 05:56

Been there moaned about it too Sad.

In the end I told everyone that regardless of the car being in the drive or me being home 8.30-4.30 were working hours and the front door would be locked. I explained to the lady next door who took the huff that I would not accept her 3-8 deliveries a day that I could not be disturbed and I was sorry.

Sometimes you need to be firm, I did but it was not easy and took a while.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 06:52

I'm with you.

There's a mum at school who makes pointed comments about me "working from home" and I know she doesn't believe I actually WORK. It makes me so so cross.

Original poster
MoaneyMcmoanmoan · 22/04/2013 07:23

I am going to have to get a sign for my door.

Just had friend who lives nearby come over, with her boys in tow and ask me in front of said children if I would look after them next week.
I said yes because I am a coward on holidays next week. But the annoying part is SHE DIDN"T KNOW THAT! She assumed I was working from home and would have them.

I think she wanted to stay for a cuppa and chat, but I ushered her out, telling her (yet again) that I am working.
And yes, I know I am on Mumsnet, but to me it's the equivalent of having a chat with the person in the next cubicle. You lot are my office-mates Grin.

But seriously, how to get this through to people? Surely working from home is going to become increasingly common (unless you happen to work for Yahoo). But perhaps we need an education campaign or sumfink?

OP posts:
Areyoumadorisitme · 22/04/2013 07:35

I'm sure many people don't believe I work because I usually do the school run in jeans. If I have a meeting I arrange for 9.30 or later.

It is frustrating, I agree.

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 07:55

I work for myself. I organise my work so I can do school runs (most of the time not this week I'm mad busy)

There's this mum at school who very pointedly said "That's XXX she manages to do the school run but she works from home. I mean, she really works from home"

I wish I had thought of a suitable retort at the time but my mouth was just hanging open.

Oddsocksrus · 22/04/2013 08:00

Oh! Soooo with you!
I have several sahm friends who just assume that my working time is entirely flexible/pretend or something.
I've had four conversations with one friend now about how her staying over onto Monday might be great for her getting home but entirely buggers up a days working time, child care (dd doesn't want to leave her friends paying with her toys and go off to nursery) and the silent rant that it gives her dear children an additional 24 hours to break stuff, smear the walls and terrorise the cat!
I have an office it just doesn't involve a commute!

Ffs indeed!

MrsBeep · 22/04/2013 08:01

I have a friend who wishes she could properly work from him but doesn't have the support of her DH who doesn't work. They have a 1 yr old DS and of course so that she can do some of her web design and graphic design work she does need the co-operation of DH, but she'll get only 10 minutes into her work sometimes and he gets bored! He then tries to get her to take DS or watch a film with him on the sofa. It's so frustrating for her! She wants to make something of herself, and she's got some damn good skills!

freddiefrog · 22/04/2013 08:05

I feel your pain. Both DH and I work from home and we get this all the time.

DH at least has an office in the garden so can't hear the phone ringing/door knocking and isn't actually inside the house but he still gets all sorts of barbed comments.

I don't know the answer, if I'm busy the phone gets switched to silent, and I ignore the door but that's as far as I've got

Original poster
MoaneyMcmoanmoan · 22/04/2013 08:13

Yes yes Oddsocks I'm sure some people think I am pretending.

Er... the mountain of work next to me suggests otherwise.

MrsBeep I feel very sorry for your friend and her DH sounds a bit of an arse. This would be so much more difficult without DH's support.

I am quite liking the sign idea though... I used to put one on the door when my children were asleep that read 'Shhh! Baby and mother asleep. Please do not knock'.
Maybe a simple 'Feck Off I'm Working'.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 22/04/2013 08:13

Well that's a good start freddiefrog. I'm quite resistant to the phone ringing and the front door is only opened if I've had a peek through the blinds and seen that it's the postie or eg the occasional meter reader. People soon learn.

MammaTJ · 22/04/2013 08:30

Oh, and while we are it, yes, I do work and I work FULL TIME!! I just work nights. That means I am available to MY DC should they be ill or on holiday, not anyone elses. I will just about go without sleep for my own, that is why I work nights, so I have that option.

OH, and DP is not babysitting while I work, he is looking after his own children, so I can contribute to the family finances. This is in the same way that I do the child care while he is at work.

That feels better. Hope you feel better too OP!! Grin

Freddiemisagreatshag · 22/04/2013 08:34

I keep my curtains closed at the front of the house and don't answer the door unless I am expecting a delivery. Same with texts and phone calls.

There was a man doing some sort of survey the other week and I said "I'm sorry I don't have time" and he kept wittering on being very pushy - I shut the door on him Blush

wordfactory · 22/04/2013 08:35

It is very hard to get people to understand how working from home works.

I really notice that on the days I workout of the home, everyone accepts that I am unavailable, yet when I'm here, I'm considered free.

That said, I am my own worst enemy...

Tailtwister · 22/04/2013 09:12

YANBU OP, it's infuriating. I've worked from home in the past and often had 3-4 client tc's per day. You simply can't answer the door to anyone during a meeting, but an elderly neighbour of mine just wouldn't give up. I actually had to excuse myself from the call to get rid of him! We had to move in the end he was so intrusive.

Imnotaslimjim · 22/04/2013 09:18

I feel your pain, people just don't get it do they? I run a cake business from home and its amazing the amount of admin thats involved! Had a friend turn up last week, told him I was working, told him to help himself to the kettle (he's the kind of friend that usually would so not being rude) but he then got huffy when I went back to the PC to get on with my admin! He soon left again

Torrorosso · 22/04/2013 09:27

Can you get a security camera by the front door? We have one so that dd can screen callers when she's home from school and we're at work and also allow me to avoid annoying pensioner next door who rings the bell as soon as we get home on with some thinly-veiled excuse to get away from his wife.

BIWI · 22/04/2013 09:30

You just have to keep saying 'sorry, I really can't [insert requested activity] because I'm working', and say the same thing, over and over and over and over again Grin

YoothaJoist · 22/04/2013 09:37

I feel your pain.

My mother has actually referred to a day I was due to work from home as 'your day off'!!!!!

Trillz · 22/04/2013 09:44

YANBU

stealthsquiggle · 22/04/2013 09:47

Home phone goes to answerphone and I only answer the door if I am expecting a delivery.

Cordless phones and the 'mute' button are essential sometimes for getting a coffee answering the door during conference calls - but I have to say that parents at school are largely accepting of the fact that I do, in fact, work FT even if I do look incredibly scruffy casual most mornings. This may be because a lot of them are farmers/otherwise self employed, so there is no expectation that working = going into an office every day. God only knows I have missed enough school stuff (every single performance poor DD has been in for the last year or more Sad) to get the message through (I have been away - if I were working @ home I would normally manage to shift calls around to make it to plays and the like).

Trillz · 22/04/2013 09:48

I am a big advocate of more people being able to work from home - not all jobs require you to be actually in the office in order to get work done.

But if people continue to have the attitude that "working from home is not really working" then it'll continue to be difficult for those of us who want to work from home.

curiousgeorgie · 22/04/2013 09:48

This is really frustrating. My DH works from home quite a lot and he'll get 'skiving off today?' from his parents or friends that pop by...

Yes, skiving off, in his study at 8.30, lucky to leave the room at 6...

lurkingfromhome · 22/04/2013 10:01

My mum calls practically every day, either at 10 am ("it's time for a coffee break!"), at 1 o'clock ("you should have stopped for lunch by now!") or mid-afternoon ("time for tea!"). She cannot grasp the fact that because for her 10 o'clock automatically means time for coffee and a 20-minute natter with somebody, in my world I could be rushing to make a deadline, in the middle of a Skype conference, concentrating really hard on a complicated spreadsheet or, gasp, just not feel like a cup of coffee ... note that when I had an office job, she never once called me at work because "I don't want to disturb you when you're working". Aaaargh.

TravelinColour · 22/04/2013 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MoaneyMcmoanmoan · 22/04/2013 10:38

I agree TravelinColour. I do have a desk at head office, but as we are woefully overcrowded and my desk is basically in a thoroughfare, I find I spend most of the day constantly interrupted, exchanging pleasantries with people.
And arguing with the selfish git opposite who likes to set the thermostat to Arctic.

Working from home with the cat on my lap is perfect.

OP posts:
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