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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask my neighbours to keep it down a bit?

33 replies

ShatterResistant · 18/04/2013 13:46

This is my first time posting, so please make allowances!
I have a 9 week old baby girl. She's my first. I also have really nice neighbours with 3 school-age children. They've just acquired a trampoline. The baby goes to bed at 6.30, and her bedroom looks out onto our and the neighbours' garden. They're really nice kids, and I get that trampolining is a noisy business. But they're REALLY noisy - one minute squealing with pleasure, and the next minute someone's had a tantrum and is yelling into the house for a parent to come and adjudicate. Now that the weather is nicer, this is all happening JUST as the baby is going to sleep. WIBU to lean over the fence and ask if they could be a BIT quieter? I wouldn't be asking for silence, just slightly less yelling at the tops of voices. I have a feeling IWBU, which is why I didn't say anything last night, but I just wanted to run it past you wise people.

OP posts:

Winterwardrobetime · 18/04/2013 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 18/04/2013 13:51

YABU. They're playing in the garden at 6.30pm. They should be allowed to make noise like children do.

I suggest you move baby to another room.

DiscoDonkey · 18/04/2013 13:52

YABU I'm afraid, 6.30 is too early to be asking kids to play quietly in the garden.

halfdoneharris · 18/04/2013 13:53

I'm sorry but I think YABU. 6.30pm is pretty early to be making noise in their own garden, and you can't stop kids making noise when they are playing.

It is good for kids to be out and about, especially as the weather has been so rubbish recently. I'm sure your baby makes noise at far less sociable times of the day

Could you put your baby to sleep in a room that isn't directly onto the garden and then transfer her once the next door kids have gone inside for supper/bed?

DiscoDonkey · 18/04/2013 13:54

They won't be able to physically manage it anyway, squealing and arguing is par for the course (as you will find in a few years)

nilbyname · 18/04/2013 13:55

I can see how this is hard for you, but yes YABU....just move the baby instead.

Kids should play out and be noisy, it is great for them.

quesadilla · 18/04/2013 13:56

I do sympathise and its not so much a YABU but I don't really see what they are going to be able to do. Telling a 25 year old to "keep it down" is one thing. A young child isn't going to be able to follow that, it's all or nothing. If its actually keeping your baby awake I would suggest moving the baby (if you can.)

littlewhitebag · 18/04/2013 13:56

Babies actually sleep through noise from other kids - just ask anyone with more than one child! My youngest can sleep through anything having been born when her sister was age 5. It is definitely unreasonable to ask them to be quiet at so early an hour. Your baby will just get used to it.

Manchesterhistorygirl · 18/04/2013 13:57

You are being unreasonable and if you have another then this will be your life in a few years.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 18/04/2013 13:58

You are looking at your future. that little cute bundle you're cooing over right now will very soon be squealing so earsplittingly that you genuinely fear she'll put the windows through.

My neighbour asked me to stop my children playing in our front garden after 6pm because her child goes to bed then. I did it, but I must admit to being a bit eye rolly about it. Felt like asking her to stop having those bbqs with the late night drunken laughter because MY kids are in bed!

tbh, if the back of the house is noisy, I would swap bedrooms so hers is at the front. Children are noisy. They are not going to play quietly so what you are actually asking of your neighbours is for them to not allow their children to play out after 630, or for them to supervise and manage their play to ensure it is kept at a low volume.

MumOfTheMoos · 18/04/2013 13:58

Look on the bright side, if you can get your baby to sleep though this they'll sleep through everything.

YABU; you have to let people live their lives, especially at 6.30pm - the world can't stop for a newborn even if they are yours!

My DS had to learn to sleep through my dogs very loud barking whenever anybody comes to the door - barking definitely does not wake him up now!

MarvellousYou · 18/04/2013 14:02

YABU, sorry- it is difficult, my neighbour used to get his leaf blower out like clockwork nearly every evening (seriously how tidy does a garden need to be) when my PFB was tiny and I remember being so but they're probably doing you a favour. DS sleeps through most noises now and makes more noise than next doors leaf blower! DS gets to use his 'outdoor' voice...revenge

WorkingtoohardMama · 18/04/2013 14:04

I used to be you - my neighbours children drove me nuts, and although we never commented, I certainly did lots of huffing and puffing about how inconsiderate they were.

Fast forward a few years and my dc are the noisy ones - the neighbours dc are 14 and 11 and much quieter, it's my dc out screaming and laughing and fighting; I'm so pleased now that I didn't actually say anything!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 18/04/2013 14:04

Yes you are YABU. But its understandable.

DD2 was very easy woken at 9 weeks but now at 22 weeks she has got used to her 4yo sisters yelling and singing. And the dog barking at birds outside her window. (He only starts barking when she is in bed, protecting her from the birds no doubt :o )

So I think you are either going to have to move the baby or hope that she gets used to the noise from the kids.

Original poster

ShatterResistant · 18/04/2013 14:04

Yes, I can see you're all right. And you've been very kind - thank you! (She was at the front of the house before, in our room, and moving her into her own room at the back for the early-evening sleep just happened to coincide with the arrival of the trampoline. Unfortunate, but as you say, she'll just have to get used to it.)

OP posts:

Idocrazythings · 18/04/2013 14:10

The trampoline novelty might wear off soon hopefully though.

I have to admit I'm surprised at how many people think its acceptable for children to be playing noisily outside at 6.30 though.

Awomansworth · 18/04/2013 14:10

She will learn to sleep through it and that will benefit you all in the end.

If it helps, I have twin sons, one has Autism and since being a baby he has always woke through the night and often makes lots of noise... his twin brother has never woken, nor has DH for that matter, but that's another story!

littlewhitebag · 18/04/2013 14:17

idocrazything How on earth is 6.30pm not an acceptable time for kids to be out playing? They are school age - that could be anything from 5-15 years old! Kids need to run about and play and 6.30 is still early evening. I am seriously amazed you would think this unacceptable!

FaceLikeAPickledYonion · 18/04/2013 14:20

Never tiptoe around sleeping babies.
My two sleep through anything! Even my hairdryer in the same room, when I have a shower before bed. They've never stirred.

greenfern · 18/04/2013 14:35

You are better not saying anything, as you baby will become a lovely noisy toddler workingtohard summed it up nicely.

maddening · 18/04/2013 14:37

Yes - you will get your revenge when yours are outside playing and theirs are trying to do homework and revise for exams.

Invest in a football to kick against the wall.

Fenton · 18/04/2013 14:43

Oh gosh, no please don't ask them to keep it down!

This could be my children you're talking about ::looks over fence:: and whilst I would sympathise with you about your sleeping baby, I think I'd be a bit put out at being asked to keep my children quiet at that time.

She will get used to it, don't tiptoe around her during daytime naps or at bedtime and she'll be fine.

Idocrazythings · 18/04/2013 14:46

I suppose each to their own really little I have two school age children - younger rather than older and I prefer them to be quieting down for the night by 6.30. They wouldn't be allowed outside playing on a trampoline or riding bikes etc. but inside doing quiet stuff. Unless it was a friday or sat night, but that would be more the exception than the rule. I suppose we have a quiet street as I don't see or hear anyone's children around by that time, so I thought it the same for most people.

Icelollycraving · 18/04/2013 14:48

I hate the shrieking that little girls sometimes make,cuts right through me. We have lots of little girls where we are,they play noisily & although it can be irritating,I do think it's nice that they are actually outside playing & not just stuck in front of a screen.

Original poster

ShatterResistant · 18/04/2013 15:18

maddening I don't need to buy a football - I can just use theirs, instead of throwing it back over the fence like I normally do!

OP posts:

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