To not be "supportive" about ds aged 6 learning to play darts

[harrap]

Opinions please, DP just came home proudly announcing he has bought a darts board with a view to teaching our son real (sharp, pointy) darts(in our very small back yard) in the summer. By the summer hols DS will be 6 and 3/4. When I failed to express any enthusiasm for this plan I was accused of being unsupportive. I said I didn't think it was a terribly good idea and so could not be supportive, I said I thought it would be better to wait until DS is a bit older. As is my habit I now feel guilty for raining on DP's father and son bonding parade-am I being unreasonable for not thinking this is a great idea?

sorry don't know where the &quo t; came from

Why don't you like the idea? I can't see the issue if he is playing darts with his dad. He'll be supervised after all.

YABU, at 6, nearly 7 isn't a baby. Surely you can trust him with other sharp objects like scissors and knives.

Sounds like his dad will be supervising him.

The point is to the throw the darts away from you so it's not as dangerous as some sports.

Let them have fun. You can get nasty injuries playing football or falling off a scooter, its just a fact of life.

I played darts with my grandfather , probably from about 5 years old . As well as hand eye co ordination it is fantastic for maths .

You have to be able to double and treble and add three random numbers .Plus the scoring is downwards , I.e you ate subtracting all the time , definitely credit darts as the reason I was good at mental maths

Darts is fine for a supervised child of that age. Apologise to DH

Mine played well before the age of 6. They throw the darts away from themselves, it will be fine if he is well supervised. Look, it is active and outside, gets the thumbs up from me.

Banjo I take your point, and I realise I am probably being over anxious; It's just I can forsee darts flying over the fence and either harpooning our nice neighbour's cat or our nasty neighbour's head (not such a bad idea but...). If we had a large garden or spare room it would be different. Oh dear I think I'd better go and be a bit more supportive...

I wouldn't be crazy about it either OP. I think it's probably safe as long as your OH is there bit I would have strict rules about him not using them unsupervised.

Thank you all, apology made-marital harmony restored...hopefully

My Ds had a magnetic dartboard at about 3, and pointy one at about 7. He loved the counting and adding involved.

The trick I worked out to make it safer was to only allow 3 darts at a time, so the second person can't start throwing their 3 while the first one is getting their darts out.

Perhaps with a 3 year old, I'd only allow one dart out at a time, unless you can trust ex to supervise very closely.

Sorry should have said DP not ex [Shame]

I am guessing my in laws will teach my son before that age, yabu.

Just be clear it's something special for DS & DH and not DS and his friends.

My ds has been playing darts since he saw a magnetic dart board in a charity shop aged about 3. Pointy ones since about 5.

It's incredibly good for mental maths!

Supervision and being sensible at all times and it should be fine.

And not wishing to stereotype but .... I think it's very natural for mothers to be a little more cautious and protective (of our babies) and fathers to be a bit more adventurous about introducing and encouraging the DC's to try new dangerous activities

Maybe try to see the strengths in this ? You probably make a good team - you providing some important caution and balance. DH more exploration of life ? (though of course we can do this too in lots of different ways)
And Perhaps one reason most DC's do benefit from having a father or male role model around ?

My DH takes DS skate-boarding when I was initially too scared to watch him crashing head first down a half-pipe ! Now he's got quite good and confident I've gone along too a couple of times. They also play rather unsuitable shoot-em-up computer games together. But I just let them get on with it really. I wouldn't encourage or probably even allow it if it was just me raising them - but overall I feel it probably does more good than harm. Like you say OP - they're "bonding"
DGP also bought DS a pen-knife recently (I think for 11th birthday)
But he was good enough to ask me first which I appreciated.
DS has enjoyed his whittling and other boy stuff down the end of the garden ... I think they have plans to build a tree house !

Darts are pretty safe.. Unless you're me in which the safest pace to stand is directly front of the board when it's my turn!

Sounds great.

Just make sure that safety rules followed.

Never throw a dart anywhere other than at the board. Never throw a dart when someone is retrieving darts from board.

Is great for maths.

We used to have a dartboard on the outside of my bedroom door when I was growing up. I'd lie in bed to the thump thump thump of my brothers playing. Used to have to knock to leave my room so they'd stop until I was clear.

I think it is a great idea for maths. Plus how will you feel if he is the next Eric Bristow?

Now that does sound a bit dodgy pooka - glad you were OK !

It's was a bit dicey at times.

But then my mother was incredibly chilled out about quite dangerous stuff which was brilliantly character-building. :)

The more you trust children to be sensible, the more sensible they are. They are capable of far more than we let them be capable of. There's a fantastic book called The Continuum Concept" which talks about this. A bit extreme in places- but still an eye opener.

I've heard of the continuum concept. Wasn't it on that strange programme "bringing up baby" - knives for toddlers?

I agree with the approach really - I was doing much more 'risky' things than my dcs do but I was trusted and responsible and far better at risk assessment and management.

Dd is 9. I was ironing, doing my washing, cooking/frying/grilling and making cups of tea at same age. I have to admit to almost automatically assuming she won't be able or is too young to do stuff. I.e. our kettle is cast iron stove top one. Too heavy. I need to rethink. And also to ignore the nagging voice in my head that overrides me thinking something is fine and exciting and good for them to learn, whispering "what if something happens - you will be judged" rather than genuine concern for the consequences on dcs.

my DSIS and me used to play darts across the garage as children. I guess my younger sister was about 6.

One set of darts and keep them really sharp so they stick in the board not bounce off and something soft behind the board so wild shots don't bounce back either.

And thanks, Darts might be something my two teens would enjoy, although DD2 will have to win.

I think there were quite a lot more childhood accidents though in the 70's when I was growing up and our family did their fair share in contributing to those stats

We almost certainly are over-protective as a society now. But it is about balance and risk assessment. Sometimes it's a hard call as a parent.

And sometimes there are things you can do to reduce risk eg. pooka you could get another electric jug kettle that was easier for DC to use (just an example really)