AIBU re DD and messaging and FaceTime

[WorriedMumof3]

DD1 is almost 9. Recently some other children (I wouldn't call thm close friends) have started sending messages, both individually and group messages) on iPad and FaceTimeing each other. DD has given out my email address so she is included in these messages.

Most are pretty innocuous but some meanness as in 'shut up' 'don't listen to XX they are talking rubbish' etc.

Today I have put my foot down, and pass coded the iPad and told her she can only use it under my supervision. Apparently I am the worst mum in the world and I am stopping her from doing what I am able to do every day. Major tantrums ensued.

I just think that she is too young for this sort of thing. For example, I wouldn't let her have a mobile phone for this reason.

Some background - we have had lots of issues over DD and friendships, learning and other things. Strategies are currently in place in school to help her and we are looking at assessment for possible mild aspergers.

On one hand I think this might help her, on the other hand I worry it is just another way for her to be eventually bullied or excluded. I just don't know if I am being unreasonable or not?

I think you are right. At 9, children are not equipped to deal with situations hat can escalate into cyber bullying. Neither to do they have the verbal dexterity with the written word, hence "shut up" which probably means "yer havin' a larf!" but can be taken the wrong way.

once you have the measure of her friends and she's shown she can be trusted, then you cn loosen up the controls

She is eight! yanbu, she doesn't need to communicate with her friends like this, way too young to handle it.