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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is my DP being completely unreasonable regarding DS2's MMR vaccination today?

100 replies

AnitaManeater · 12/04/2013 08:31

Our DS2 (child no 3) is due to have his pre-school boosters today. His last set of injections. I believe vaccinations are necessary and a lifesaver. All of our children have had all the vax's and DP has never queried it before or expressed any opinion.

I have had the appointment on the calendar for a couple of weeks and assumed that DP had seen it and had no objections to the vaccinations. When he asked what we were doing today I said we were doing nothing much, DS2 has his injections at lunchtime and I just wanted to have a nice quiet day indoors in case he was grouchy afterwards. DP then stated he was 'uncomfortable' with DS2 having his vaccinations. He stated they all contained toxins - including one called gardecyl (sp?) and that the actual illnesses they prevented were 'not that bad' He said he had had mumps as a child and he was fine. I was completely [shocked] and tried to explain the complications arising from the diseases which I think went over his head. I also explained to him that there is a current measles outbreak in Wales and that you cannot rely on herd immunity to protect your children.

I asked him what exactly he wanted me to do, to which he didn't have an answer. I am going to take DS2 for the vaccinations but feel like I am going behind his rather ill-informed back. I stated that the date has been on the calendar and the cards have been on the fridge for a couple weeks now. I said the time to speak up was before we had children - I argued that DD had all her vaccinations with no argument from him. I also said if he was that bothered he would have prepared a fully informed case against immunisation, rather than thrusting his mobile phone in my face with showing an article about 4 children in Nepal dying after a vaccination (it was thrust so close to my face and so briefly I couldn't even see what injections it was or where the source was from!)

My DP listens to a lot of David Icke, John Harris and Alex Jones on the radio / youtube and is quite into conspiracy theories which I find hugely irritating and frustrating. I suspect he's got his new opinions from something they have been broadcasting.

AIBU to go ahead and get the vaccination done?

OP posts:
ohforfoxsake · 12/04/2013 08:33

Yes, get them done.

RatherBeACyborg · 12/04/2013 08:33

Yanbu. He is though.

Levantine · 12/04/2013 08:33

No you are not

ParsleyTheLioness · 12/04/2013 08:33

Quickly scan read, but did the first child have the vac?

ArabellaBeaumaris · 12/04/2013 08:34

Vaccinate.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2013 08:34

Gardacil is the cervical cancer vaccine..he sounds a bit ill informed

LackaDAISYcal · 12/04/2013 08:34

No, he is being unreasonable.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/04/2013 08:34

Sorry Gardasil..its not in the MMR

mumblechum1 · 12/04/2013 08:34

I'd just get on with it. But my dh was never involved in stuff like that when mine were little.

Sokmonsta · 12/04/2013 08:35

Get him done. His agreement is implied in every other vaccination which has been done.

LackaDAISYcal · 12/04/2013 08:35

for listening to David Icke especially; the man is a bona fide nutjob of the highest order!

Original poster
AnitaManeater · 12/04/2013 08:36

Yep ALL children have had all the required injections. DS2 is due his pre-school boosters today, which will be the last he's required to have for a long time.

OP posts:
yousankmybattleship · 12/04/2013 08:36

Get the jab. Your DH is being unreasonable. He can sulk about it, but at least your child will be protected.

StealthPolarBear · 12/04/2013 08:37

yanbu, yab responsible and sensible.

soapnuts · 12/04/2013 08:37

take him - irrespective of the fact that vaccinations are important (which i believe they are ), the morning of said vaccinations is not the time to raise concerns - if he had mentioned he wasn't sure before or could come up with some good reasons, fine, then you need to have the debate and agree what to do but he clearly hasn't shown enough interest in vaccinations before so it's up to you if you ask me.

willyoulistentome · 12/04/2013 08:38

Just ignore. He's wrong and you right. Protect your little boy.

overmydeadbody · 12/04/2013 08:39

Just go ahead and get it done. Your DP is being unreasonable.

OnTheNingNangNong · 12/04/2013 08:39

Vaccinate. The argument of 'I had it and i was fine' is poor at best.

Pagwatch · 12/04/2013 08:40

No . He is being unreasonable.
My dd hasn't had her vaccinations but this is a joint decision involving both of us. DH talked it over in detail including with our Dr.

If you are going to decline a vaccination you should be able to explain why to those who are involved in that child's life.

StealthPolarBear · 12/04/2013 08:40

and agree that if you've both agreed to vaccinate older children then unless things have changed that can be assumed to be consent from both poarents. The only thing that has changed is that measles has become a much bigger problem

Skygirls · 12/04/2013 08:40

No you are NBU.

How would you feel if your DC came down with one of the illnesses with complications? You'd never forgive yourself.

I have 3 DCs and what we do for one, we do for all. So, if your DD had all hers, why not your DS? Thousands upon thousands of kids have had this vaccination with nothing more than being a bit grouchy.

FWIW when my DS2 had his pre-school booster, he was absolutely fine, not even grouchy, probably cos he was already immune from the first one.

I know every child is different and will react differently, but is it worth the risk not to get it done for fear of upsetting your DH?

Do what you feel is right for your child.

Lueji · 12/04/2013 08:41

Gardacil is the cervical cancer vaccine..he sounds a bit ill informed

A bit?

I'd consider leaving if a parter actually prevented me from vaccinating my children.

And he's obviously not ok. ;)

AuntieStella · 12/04/2013 08:41

Gardisil isn't the 'cervical cancer 'jab. It's the HPV jab - and both sexes can get HPV. It is offered only to girls because HPV is implicated in many cases of cervical cancer. If there was a genuine desire to reduce e amount of HPV in circulation (especially as it's such a new jab, and people don't only shag their own age group) it would be offered to both sexes. (OK - off soapbox on that one).

Yes, get the jabs done.

Tell him thiomersal was removed from UK jabs in about 1998. That some "vaccination deaths" have arising because of poor hygiene by administrator and are unconnected with the vaccine itself. Tell him you agree that complications of mumps are as are as rocking horse shit, but it's a trivalent jab and you will not compromise on the other two parts.

firesidechat · 12/04/2013 08:41

I can't believe that he is disputing this at a time when there is a measles problem in certain parts of the country, when he wasn't previously bothered. His timing is impeccable.

I had an adult friend who was deaf and slightly brain damaged due to measles, so it is that bad.

I would never ignore my husbands wishes but he is a sensible person so I don't have to. You are right to get it done of course.

HollyBerryBush · 12/04/2013 08:42

Get them vaccinated. If they have had one round of jabs, the second round won't affect them.

Google throws up this, from 2012, if you want to read further.

articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/09/04/measles-vaccine-kills-infants.aspx

Four infants between nine and 14 months of age recently died within 24 hours of receiving their measles and DPT (diphtheria, pertussis and tetanus) vaccines in the Doti area of Nepal. The Doti District Public Health Office (DPHO) has stated the primary investigation suggests the measles vaccine was the cause of death