to wish DM would stop making me feel like a crap parent?

[hairtearing]

I was having a conversation the other day with DM and right now I am having potty training from hell.
The eldest has made limited progress and is very reluctant to go further,
She often says things like you have to be stroppy,firm or tough ...but I know you don't like doing that! makes my fucking blood boil, She will also say if she disagree's with something I do, in front of DC I've told her this is stupid and undermines my authority basically teaching him not to listen to me. And not to give too much away in her line , she should know better which makes it more insulting.
In the home when he is bad he is put in his room, things taken away and outside e.g. if he is kicking off we take him home, how is that someone who doesn't like being firm?
He has been challenging in the past, there is a possibility of underlying issue the assessment basically said, there maybe something but we are not sure.
I feel like I am ready to explode.

She sounds like a nightmare.

The minute she opens her mouth with criticism I'd be tempted to stop her in her tracks and just say 'Mother, no' and hope she eventually gets the idea - much like teaching a toddler.

YY to what cat said! In that loud, clear tone you use with toddlers!

LOL as good an idea as that is I would probably get , now don't get defensive! I hate that phrase its stupid, If I had criticized someone I would thinks its a natural reaction to 'get defensive'.

Just repeat ad nauseam, she'll get bored eventually. Like a toddler.

She does sound like a delight though.