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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not add every Tom, Dick and Harry on Facebook?

14 replies

KarmaBitch · 09/04/2013 19:24

First post alert! Should I gently dip my toes?

I'm constantly getting FB requests off people I used to go to school with. These people are the same ones I haven't spoken to in years, never bothered with whilst in education and ones who if passed you on the street would blank you anyway, despite being on your friends list.

AIBU for politely declining their request? Most only add to bulk up their friends lists. Something I really couldn't give a shit about.

OP posts:

AnnoyingOrange · 09/04/2013 19:34

Yanbu

I do the same

HollyBerryBush · 09/04/2013 19:35

Don't bother. I don't. And I have an annual clear out.

Original poster

KarmaBitch · 09/04/2013 19:39

I don't get all these people who have well over a 1000 friends.

I have to admit, when they add me I do go and click on their profile to see if I can have a nose

OP posts:

MsVestibule · 09/04/2013 19:39

YANBU. I've received FB requests from people I was barely on nodding terms with at the place I worked a few years ago, which I declined. I'm unlikely to ever see them again, and even if I did, I can't imagine they'll think "Ooh, there's that cow who wouldn't be my friend." (More likely to think "Bloody hell, she's starting to look a bit rough around the edges.")

HollyBerryBush · 09/04/2013 19:41

I did hear a good one about friend collectors, although I think it applies to teenagers more - ""If you have so many friends, why are you always taking pictures of yourself in a mirror?"" the implication being they never leave their bedroom and have no real friends to take their picture! Amused me!

exoticfruits · 09/04/2013 19:53

I have got about 50 friends on it (and most of those are not very active) -I can't see any point in cluttering it up with people you don't really know.

elQuintoConyo · 09/04/2013 20:03

Toms and Harrys no, but I never turn down a Dick

Sorry, ahem... Don't add them. I'm sure there are people I have invited who have turned me down and I don't remember. I also have a little clear out every now and then, people who I like but haven't interacted with for a while or vice versa.

I found the people from school who friend requested were the horrible ones and it seemed to me that they were nosey and also wanted to boost their numbers.

quoteunquote · 09/04/2013 20:11

I only add people who spend time at my home.

Because friends come to my house, acquaintances don't.

ConfusedPixie · 09/04/2013 20:19

YADNBU. I have 60ish people on mine. Every single one I know in person and have spoken to in recent years and enjoy catching up with them every few months and finding out hat they have been up too.

Either they are adding everybody they know, or want to nosey into your life. Neither of which I like very much!

DP has loads of people on his,, just accepts anybody he has known at some point in his life Bugs the hell out of me and he's already been told that as soon as wedding pictures or baby photos go up (whichever happens first) he's having a cull because I don't want them having that much access to my life. He's agreed to that and even deletes one or two on occasion.

LovelyMeredith · 09/04/2013 22:21

Certainly not. To be quite frank, I had a pretty terrible time at school and find it an incredible cheek when bullies from school attempt to try and add me on Facebook. I know fully well the only reason they're trying to add me is either to bulk up their friends list, or to make fun of me like they did at school.

I just assume they have very little confidence (or have a very big ego) so they add everyone they can to try and look popular.

exoticfruits · 10/04/2013 07:48

I think it is a very childish thing to have 100s of friends to prove you are popular. I have seen some with 500+ and you wonder if they can remember who some if them are- let alone be remotely interested in them! Much better to have a handful that you actually want to connect to.

Sunnymeg · 10/04/2013 07:58

I use the Christmas Card rule. If it is someone I send a card to, or would like to, then I add them. If I wouldn't send a card, then I don't bother adding them. I have about 90 friends, but a lot of them are children of family and friends who have grown up. It is a good way of keeping up with their news. I think that if you have hundreds of friends it is a sign of your own insecurity, nothing else.

kelb6180 · 10/04/2013 08:03

I accept most, have a nose and then delete them lol

I have a rule with my facebook, if they are on my list but then ignore me on the street I just delete them. I have mainly close friends that I could call up and family. I wish I could delete so of them too lol

KindleMum · 10/04/2013 08:08

YANBU. I only have people who are good friends - that doesn't always mean I see them a lot, in some cases they live far away and FB is part of how we stay in touch. But I never add people unless I want to, even family. Sunnymeg's Christmas Card rule would apply to me I think, it's not a rule I've consciously applied but I think all my FB friends are people I send Christmas cards to.

I've had strange friend requests - one from someone I'd known previously, she'd hated me and tried to get me sacked. Why on earth would she send me a friend request? Why would she think I'd accept? I really don't get it. Declined, she re-sent it so I blocked her.

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