Not fucking happy

[VitoCorleone]

Just been to visit my mum and stepdad. Just chatting away in the kitchen about rent and stuff and completely out of the blue my stepdad says......

"you know, because you and him (my DP) arent married that makes your kids little bastards"

I left and sent my mum a text saying i wont be going back, as if you fucking say that to somebody, family or not.

Im so angry.

What a twat!

What s cunt

A

Rather be a little bastard that a big fat arsehole!

Technically they are, in the traditional sense of the word.

Dh is one. No one cares nowadays anyway, sounds like it may have been a joke?

Rather be a little bastard that a big fat arsehole!

^ This. With bells on.

Yes techincally they are, as are many kids these days, but i wouldnt dream of saying that to somebody.

Not a very funny joke

What the hell was that all about then???

My DP and I aren't married either (more than half the babies in this country, the Netherlands, are born to unmarried parents) and if anyone said something like that to me I think I'd just stare at them in shock!

Yes techincally they are, as are many kids these days, but i wouldnt dream of saying that to somebody.

Not a very funny joke

I think it was probably a very clumsy joke that went wrong. Unless of course the man married to your mother really wants to hurt and piss you off and drive you out of the house?

If you don't think that the latter is his motivation, I would let it go. My child is a 'bastard' but I wouldn't give a flying fuck if someone called her that. If they genuinely said it to hurt me it would be very revealing about who they really were.

Blimey, what did your Mum say? Has he ever said anything like that before? What sort of a relationship do you (or should that be "did you"?) have with him prior to today?

wtf?!

I had a colleague once announce that to me a few years ago!
He did it in front of everyone and I couldn't believe how Victorian his attitude was.
How I smiled when I heard he'd left his wife and kids for another woman and had a child out of wedlock with her! Just goes to show you what sort of person would say such a thing in the first place. I feel sorry for your Mum.
Your SD obviously has a serious problem and YANBU.

My mum was shocked and said "X you cant say that!!"

She's just text me and said she's given him a right gobfull about it.

Why punish your mum because of something he said?

This was a running joke in our house.. by my parents!!! I was born before they were married. Both of them thought it hilarious, water off a ducks back to me.

I can see why you would be a bit taken aback tho OP. He probably didn't think he was being offensive, I would just laugh it off unless there is subtext there

Wow! I've not heard that particular view about children for a very long time. No wonder you were so shocked. I'm shocked on your behalf. Terrible thing to say about any child but to say it about family is beyond me. What on earth did he think you would say?

Not very funny but doubt he said it to be conceited.

The reason why 'Bastard' is such an offensive word, is because there used to be a huge stigma attached to having children out of wedlock. Nowadays, there isn't the stigma any more, but the word is still offensive... While technically he is correct (and has probably been watching too much Game of Thrones) he needs to learn some social skills.

Whaat? Haven't heard the word used like that since the 70's - I'll never forget it, my mum didn't swear EVER but some friends were round for coffee and they were discussing the woman who'd moved in 2 doors down, who's little girl I'd become friendly with. "Of course, you know that xxx is a little bastard" says my mother in hushed tones I was horrified, I'd only heard that word used in the sense of 'not being a nice person' and xxx was lovely!

You stepdad is either a) an idiot b) thinks he's clever or c) watched too many documentaries on the Tudors/Game of Thrones lately. Possibly all 3.

Im not punishing my mum because of it, in fact she's coming round here later, im just not going up to hers, well not til i get a bloody apology or explanation from him.

My DP once said this to his sister in law about her kids, knowing full well that the only meaning of "Bastard" she knew was the swearing insult version.

She was really insulted and then my DP explained the other meaning and he was just winding her up. He obviously meant nothing by it.I just slunk in to the kitchen very embarrassed.