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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for friend using my mirror?

30 replies

SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:34

Ok so we went out the other night for a friends birthday, it was on a cruise boat so dinner and drinks on the boat for 2.5ish hours.

There were three other parties there too so it was quite busy.

We were were all drinking and dancing, and I sat down to have a drink and thought I'd better check my make-up because I felt like a sweaty mess, looked in my bag and couldn't find my mirror.

I was upset because a good friend had bought me that hand mirror years ago and I knew I'd had it earlier in the evening and was annoyed at myself for being so careless as to lose it.

When 15minutes I spot it abandoned on a nearby table.

Turns out my friend had gone into my bag, used my mirror and just left it.

I'm annoyed because I don't like anyone going into my bag without asking me and for being so careless with my things too.

Aibu and a bit uptight?

I haven't fallen out with her just quietly seething.

OP posts:
MintyyAeroEgg · 02/04/2013 14:35

Yanbu. Am curious as to why you feel the need to ask?

Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:36

I'm asking Mintyy because she is a friend and perhaps I should be fine with friends going into my bag as they aren't total strangers and I know she's not going to steal from me.

Just wondered if I was perhaps being pathetic and uptight.

OP posts:
JustinBsMum · 02/04/2013 14:39

Is it an unusually nice mirror?

Just wondering why you would leave anything lying about at a place like that. (by that i mean a busy bar, not suggesting there is anything wrong with it)

EverythingIsTicketyBoo · 02/04/2013 14:40

Yanbu for being upset that she was careless with your things, but there were people you didn't know on the boat and you left your bag long enough for someone to go in it without you noticing, you were lucky it was a friend and just your mirror that was taken.

scarletforya · 02/04/2013 14:41

Yanbu.

That was well out of order on her part on two counts;

  1. going into your bag, totally unacceptable.
  2. taking something out and not returning it, very, very unacceptable.

I would have been really annoyed by this too. Did you confront her?

Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:43

Justin

It's a mirror with different coloured gems all over it (probably cost less than £5 but it's sentimental value)

I'm unsure why she just left it on a table and didn't put it back in my bag.

Everything

We left our bags on the table and chairs and someone was always sat at the table.

OP posts:
Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:44

scarletforya

Things happened later on in the night which because of her actions a few people fell out with her - so for that reason I thought I'd just leave it, otherwise I would have confronted her.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 02/04/2013 14:45

Cheeky moo going into your bag!

YANBU.

Sugarice · 02/04/2013 14:46

God no, yanbu at all!

DH doesn't go into my bag, he'll bring it to me if he needs change or whatever, he'd never just dive in.

Your friend was bloody rude but I'm not sure if it's worth bringing it up now after the event.

Salmotrutta · 02/04/2013 14:46

Oh now we need to know what things happened later!

I'm well nosey, me.

AgentZigzag · 02/04/2013 14:49

Could the bag thing and her falling out with other people be put down to the drinking?

It's not on to go rooting in anyone else's bag though.

What's she like normally?

EverythingIsTicketyBoo · 02/04/2013 14:51

Aah, that's ok then, now now what else happened?

Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:53

Your friend was bloody rude but I'm not sure if it's worth bringing it up now after the event.

Yeah, exactly. I'm just going to quietly seethe about it and buy a padlock for my bag instead Grin

OP posts:
scarletforya · 02/04/2013 14:54

This is the kind of thing that would really bug me, I would want to confront it but would probably leave it as it's difficult to get right......

Salmotrutta · 02/04/2013 14:54

So - tell us about these "other things"...

Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:55

Could the bag thing and her falling out with other people be put down to the drinking?

She had been drinking a lot but the bag thing happened earlier on in the evening so she hadn't drunk much - at that point.

OP posts:
fluffiphlox · 02/04/2013 14:55

Never look into a raspberry or a lady's handbag.

Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:56

The other thing, basically we went to out afterwards and a good friend joined us. We introduced her and they were sat talking just the two of them.

Another girl text him whilst they were talking, he text her back and friend slapped him. She was drunk and thought he was being disrespectful.

I was extremely ashamed to tell her a friend at that point.

OP posts:
Original poster
SailToMe · 02/04/2013 14:57

I'm really glad people don't think I was being unreasonable for her looking through my bag.

If I needed something out of anyones bag - I would always ask that person first.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 02/04/2013 14:58
Shock

Does she often randomly slap people for texting?

ToupOfRegDwight · 02/04/2013 15:01

YANBU.

I hate people going into my bag without me knowing!

We were at a wedding and after having a dance went back to the table to find my bag wide open with my purse, phone and camera out. Que MIL "I took your camera to take some photos. Hope you don't mind.". She was quickly put in her place and hasn't done it since.

NinaHeart · 02/04/2013 15:02

YANBU for the handbag. Disrespectful behaviour.

But utterly taken aback at the slapping thing.

AgentZigzag · 02/04/2013 15:03

He was being disrespectful, but it was hardly slap worthy.

Are these things you can ignore in a friend?

glossyflower · 02/04/2013 15:04

That's rude without asking or returning it safely.

However some people are just oblivious to their behaviour.
I once went to the cinema with a friend to watch Lord Of The Rings when it came out. I'd already seen it but wanted to see it again and really thought my friend would like it.
After about half an hour she got all restless and eventually got her Walkman out attached to her ears!
Then she went to the toilet and returned to tell me there was the Britney Spears movie on next door and she was going to sit in there instead! Rudeness!
I was annoyed but then like I say some people have different attitudes to things.

Maggie111 · 02/04/2013 15:05

Even my husband wouldn't go into my bag without asking! Crikey.