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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be upset that I'll never bf again

31 replies

DixieD · 28/03/2013 16:35

I have 3 kids. There will be no more. I fed the two eldest for a year each. DS2 is 18 months tomorrow. He has one feed every night before bedtime. He will go to sleep without it for DH no problem. I have decided that I will take advantage of DH being off for Easter and get him to put DS2 to bed thereby kicking him off the boob.
Tonight will be the last time I ever breastfeed again. DH, DM, friends are all expecting me to be emotional and I am not at all. I am fine, looking forward to it actually. Am I dead inside?

OP posts:
CailinDana · 28/03/2013 16:38

God no. I'm bfing dd currently and while i do enjoy it i will heave a sigh of relief when i stop same as i did when i stopped feeding ds.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/03/2013 16:38

I think it is strange people would think it odd for you to not get emotional to be honest. It's not rocket science, it's just a way of feeding your baby who is now going onto the next phase.

I bf for 6 weeks, gave up and never gave it another thought.

I think they are the odd ones!

Squitten · 28/03/2013 16:41

I don't think so.

I'm 9wks gone with DC3 and it will be our last one. When I found out, I was full of all that - how sad, this is the last time I'll ever do x,y,z.

Now I'm nauseous and bloody knackered all the time and I keep reminding myself that I NEVER EVER have to do this again!!

BitBewildered · 28/03/2013 16:43

No YANBU. I bf my 2 dc for 15 and 13 mths respectively. It's just gone a year since I stopped and it's been lovely to have my body back. I'm glad I did it, but am glad it's done with as well!

ruledbyheart · 28/03/2013 16:45

Squitten I could have wrote that myself except I'm pregnant with DC4.

emsyj · 28/03/2013 16:46

I punched the air in victory when I fed DD1 for the last time (the day after her 1st birthday). I was fed up to the back teeth with it, but she was a bottle-refuser. I'm now feeding DD2 and can't wait for the 6 month mark, when I plan to start gradually weaning her off the breast. She's our last baby, so as of autumn this year I will hopefully have my body back - hurrah! Grin YANBU.

Pandemoniaa · 28/03/2013 16:48

YANBU. Everything has to come to an end.

MidnightMasquerader · 28/03/2013 16:50

YANBU.

I BF'd DS and DD 13 and 18 months respectively; they were 18 months aparts, so I was either pregnant and/or breastfeeding for over 3 years.

I felt nothing but relief to finally get my body back.

Enjoy! :)

Lueji · 28/03/2013 16:52

No, of course not. FGS.

Your friends are as they are.

Breastfeeding has its time, and children grow.
It would be silly to want it to go on and on and on, forever. (disclaimer - not commenting on how long you breastfeed for, but it has to stop at some point)

ICBINEG · 28/03/2013 16:57

everyone is different aren't they?

I will miss the only quite time I get with my frenetic toddler but I wont miss the hormone rush that can make me feel nauseous...and just a little like my soul is being sucked out...

YANBU

JimbosJetSet · 28/03/2013 16:57

I felt quite liberated when I stopped b' feeding DC1 at 15m, as up until then I fed her to sleep every night, so it was always me that had to put her to bed.
However I'm now b'feeding DC2 who is 6m, and he will be our last - although I have no plans to give up b'feeding any time soon, I am already feeling sad at the prospect of it ending one day.
But no, you are definitely not being unreasonable - it's a good job we are all different!

HumphreyCobbler · 28/03/2013 16:59

I was so pleased to stop actually, not emotional at all. Just quite happy about the fact that my boobs would shrink a bit, i was fed up with having comedy boobs

TeWiSavesTheDay · 28/03/2013 17:01

God no!

I secretly hate bf actually. Not the act itself! Which is good, obviously.

I have having tiny person being so dependent on you your life is basically on hold. Everytime you go out without them is a stressful risk. It's suffocating and makes me feel very depressed.

Original poster
DixieD · 28/03/2013 17:01

I have been pregnant or breast feeding for 5 and half of the last 7 years. I am just ready to move onto the next phase. Just have my body back.

OP posts:
ICBINEG · 28/03/2013 17:04

tewi that doesn't sound like a great place to be in!

Is the feeding that is making you feel like that or the responsibility in general? Could you stockpile some milk and feel more secure?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 28/03/2013 17:14

I'm not feeding right now, thank god! But pg, next baby will be at minimum mixed fed if not ff, because I honestly can't do it again.

My last baby DS was a bottle refuser, fed a lot + bad sleeper, added to the fact I can't drive so was spending 4hrs a day walking with DD to preschool until DS was 13mths, life has been very monotonous and very difficult.

When people say "don't introduce bottles before 6wks" i chip in now and say make sure you do it ASAP if baby having bottles is important to you!

notimefors · 28/03/2013 17:22

I will miss breastfeeding when I stop. I think the hormones affect me more than other women. I drop straight off to sleep after feeding when otherwise I am an insomniac, and every time I have fed DC I have felt all calm and peaceful.
Ah. I wish you could buy prolactin and oxytocin.
Totally selfish reasons there but never mind!

Theicingontop · 28/03/2013 17:23

Just finished breastfeeding my son and he's 2.5... And then only because I'm recently pregnant with number 2, and it seems to have finally put him off. I get precisely 7 months respite before the next round.

YANBU! It's not like I didn't like breastfeeding, but it was stressful, and despite what some people will insist, it isn't always the most convenient option. Especially when you have to go back to working nights when they're nine months old and refusing a bottle of anything. And then there's self-weaning a toddler who would rather poke himself in the eye with a lego than give up the boob.

Chiggers · 28/03/2013 19:34

YANBU.

I hated BF so much that I vowed never to have anymore DC. I couldn't bring a child into the world without BF and I didn't want to BF anymore, so I got sterilised at 30yo. Best thing I ever did TBH, because I can now get on with my life.

bedmonster · 28/03/2013 19:43

Oh god, YANBU. I absolutely hated it. Did DC1 and DC3 for 6 months each, DC2 for 3 months. Hated every little part of it. The grim sensation, the fact that no else can settle the baby, the constant togetherness, gah. I loved all my DC, had no depression issues, but never ever liked bfing. I always knew i'd do it for each one, didn't consider formula, but it was a huge huge relief when I finally put my sagging tits back in my bra for the last time.

bedmonster · 28/03/2013 19:44

Can I just say, I have no problems with anyone else bfing, just that it really wasn't my cup of tea!

Twattybollocks · 28/03/2013 20:08

Yanbu, it's a big step and sad acknowledging that you will never do it again, dd2 is my 3rd and last baby, I'm enjoying each day because I know that soon she will lose that delicious newborn snuggliness and I'll never get it again, same with the bf, in a few months she will be weaning onto solids and while I look forward to the freedom it will give me I'm also sad that she won't need me quite so much any more

dopeysheep · 28/03/2013 20:16

You can buy oxytocin nasal sprays, notime. Not sure about prolactin.

Bridgetbidet · 28/03/2013 20:23

Prolactin is in Motillium. So there you go notimefors. Get off your tits.

Bridgetbidet · 28/03/2013 20:23

Oh look I did a breasts pun. Ha!