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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go out when the Health Visitor comes next week?

23 replies

VIX1980 · 22/03/2013 17:51

So ds is 9 months old, Ive seen her once during that time, the last appt she made was fr august and she never turned up, wasnt too bothered as i had lots of family around to ask if i got stuck. The 1 time i did ring to make another appt and ask for advice she never got back to me anyway so i came on here instead .

So last wednesday 7pm get a call letting me know i have a new Hv and she wants to come out the friday, i say yes its set for 11am, 9am on the wednesday i get a call saying she was off sick and can they re-arrange to thursday this week at 11, yes thats also fine, so im sat in all morning yesterday waiting, no health visitor, then 3pm get a phone call to say she cant make it as lots of people off sick, can she come today instead, yes i say just to get it over with (bit pissed off now that ive sat in all day), so its arranged again for today at 2pm, cancelled going swimming with ds - snowing anyway so wasnt too bothered, cleaned around and waited for her to turn up, half 1 i get a phone call and her exact words were " do you mind if i re-arrange to monday at half 2, as its snowing today and i dont want to be out in the snow, i'll also be bringing with me 2 students if thats ok as we are in the process of training them". As shes saying this i could only grin as the thought of going out somewere and imagining her knocking on the door to no answer and wasting her time. Whilst i sit in a nice warm cafe rubbing my hands together and saying mwah mwah to myself in an evil villian stylee

Beginning to see why they get such a bad reputation!

OP posts:

FutTheShuckUp · 22/03/2013 17:55

Oh a HV slagging thread- how unusual!
Just phone and say you cant make it and you will be in touch to rearrange. Its a real PITA when people you arrange to visit arent in and cba to even let you know

Bogeyface · 22/03/2013 17:56

Definitely go out!

I had this with DS physio. She never turned up on time, sometimes never turned up at all and once when I was late taking him to nursery (she sometimes saw him there) she gave ME a bollocking in front of all mthe staff for being late as her time was important!

I asked her if her time was more important than mine as she hadnt bothered turning up for the last 3 appointments, funnily enough she always turned up after that!

Bogeyface · 22/03/2013 17:57

It is isnt it Fut so why is it ok for the HV to do it and not the OP?

TobyLerone · 22/03/2013 17:59

If I were you, I'd 'phone the practice manager and let her/him know what has happened and that you'd like to cancel the appointment.

You don't have to see the HV.

YouTheCat · 22/03/2013 17:59

Yes but, Fut, she's been let down numerous times over the last week.

What if OP has things to do and she's been wasting all this time waiting in for the HV who has often left it late in the day to say she couldn't make it?

Tbh I'd make sure I was in and if she doesn't turn up again or rearranges again, just say 'no thanks'.

Original poster

VIX1980 · 22/03/2013 18:01

I dont even have a number for her, the 1st one gave me a number but they've since moved buildings. To be honest its just the attitude today thats got to me, "i dont want to go out in the snow", well no i didnt want to be sat in for most of the week waiting for you but thats whats happened.

OP posts:

XBenedict · 22/03/2013 18:02

I would do what Toby said. It is unacceptable however it doesn't make it right to not be in when you've made an appointment. I would ring her office and say after numerous attempts and appointments you are no longer prepared to wait in to see the HV and you have no need to see her. Good feedback for them too.

XBenedict · 22/03/2013 18:02

Ah crossed posts - didn't see that you don't have a number!

Original poster

VIX1980 · 22/03/2013 18:02

Just out of curiosity, how would i get the number for them - my Doctors dont have the information as ive already tried months ago to get it from them and in the end gave up and waited for them to get in touch with me, would the hospital i gave borth in be able to give me anything?

OP posts:

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/03/2013 18:04

Why is she coming? DS is 9 months and we are a family with a 'child in need' yet have heard tootle-pip from the HV.

spottyparrot · 22/03/2013 18:04

I would phone and cancel the appt, saying how you have been messed around. I would offer to visit the baby clinic but say you have no concerns and ill only come if she wants you to.

XBenedict · 22/03/2013 18:05

Your GP surgery doesn't have the number for the HVs? That's a little odd! I've just googled Health Visitors and my home town and I managed to find a number really easily - could you try that?

honeytea · 22/03/2013 18:06

It sounds like the hv has too much work to do, I am sure she wasn't trying to be rude to you VIX.

If you do just go out and let her come to you when you are not there you could well be taking time away from a mum and baby that really needs her help.

If you don't want to see her call and cancel but I think yaby just to go out to spite her.

TheDetective · 22/03/2013 18:07

I was let down for one appointment. I don't give second chances. I have been pestered like crazy to rearrange. I just say no.

Original poster

VIX1980 · 22/03/2013 18:07

X Ive tried the same this week and its just the old phone number and old address, Theyve been gone over 6 months now so would of thought it should have been updated. But no the doctors surgery only had a mobile ohone number that kept going to answer machine, i left 2 messages and gave up after a week of hearing nothing.

I have no idea why she is even coming now to be honest.

OP posts:

Original poster

VIX1980 · 22/03/2013 18:09

ok i'll be in for her, but i wont hold my breath that she actually makes it here, i hope theres not a gust of wind or a light shower as she seems very sensitive about being out in the elements

OP posts:

Granitetopping · 22/03/2013 18:10

Go out. She's probably not going to turn up anyway. Bit cheeky to say that students are coming and not giving you much chance to say no!

FutTheShuckUp · 22/03/2013 18:21

Its not acceptable for her to let you down but equally its not right to arrange a visit knowing you wont be in. Cant you just say you will see her at clinic sometime? BTW why cancel things you have planned to accomodate her? Tell her to come when you have nothing else on if you cant do that- dont cancel things you have planned!

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 22/03/2013 20:02

Hv are not employees of gp but the local primary care trust or new equivalent n they will have a complaints procedure.

U don't have to access Hv people are shocked i didn't have 2yr check i am a school nurse n work with Hv i know my child is fine n did 2yr check list myself n didn't waste hrs waiting in a clinic

whoopwhoopbib · 23/03/2013 01:53

Google your local child health department and call them. They will have an uptodate number for the hv as they will be speaking to them on a regular basis.

twinklesparkles · 23/03/2013 05:10

Just say you'll be going to baby clinic and maybe you'll see her there

And if she says she doesn't do that then just say at least he will be getting seen by a hv and getting checked then therell be no reason for her to see you

Just saving her some time by being nice ;)

Jengnr · 23/03/2013 05:21

Ring the PCT and get it on record otherwise she'll log it as 'a no access visit' and put the blame on you. I had similar problem with midwives and one lying bitch recorded one of those against me when she didn't turn up.

Kytti · 23/03/2013 05:34

YANBU Call your doctor and speak to the nurse or whatever, tell them you're not going to be there and ensure you know who you spoke to. Go out and if they can be bothered to call you say you cancelled it with the only people you could contact, and do you really need to see them? I wouldn't bother going to the clinic either. I mean, they keep you waiting, sometimes don't let you take in your pram, they're a pain in the arse. Well, if you have no reason to be there they can be.

Unless you're an evil parent that never goes for the vaccination check-ups and stuff with the doctor, then they have no reason to check up on you.

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