to be soo upset by this

[hairyqueenofscots]

yesterday i was waiting on the bus, an old man came over to me and was saying i'l get you on the bus for nothing i have a pass(he was drunk) i was telling him that that was his pass and i had my own money to pay my fare, he wouldn't let it go and i was beginning to get a bit harassed, when we got on the bus he was shouting at the driver thats her ticket ect.. i said to driver its not, how much? but he gave me ticket and shrugged, i sat at front seat as wanted to get up and pay when old man sat down, he then proceeded to sit next to me then was saying give me fucking money i paid your fare on and on.. i told him to leave me alone.. i got into a bit of a panic at this point and went up to driver and asked him to help me again he just shrugged and said he couldn't stop, first time in my life i felt like i was having panic attack it was awful, when the bus stopped the old man pushed passed me and got off, i sat down but then just got off as i was so shaken up, cried like a baby:( now i'm thinking was i being a bit stupid, only an old man, i'm usually tough as ol' boots too :)

No I'd be upset too, and a bit about the driver not helping you.

Sounds like a really horrid experience no wonder you were shaken up.

I am not surprised you are shaken up that sounds awful :( bus driver sounds really unhelpful

betty, was crying when i got off the bus and said to him 'why didnt you help me?' he said 'he's off now anyway'!! thats why i was thinking i overreacted! i think it was just the panic of not knowing what to do x

fgs why did no-one else intervene?

this really annoys me. I had some bloke rub himself up against me in mcdonalds and I kept moving away and he kept doing it and at one point started shouting stuff in my ear. It was QUITE obvious I wasn't with him and I kept saying leave me alone (I had three children with me, one ina wheelchair) and in a packed mcdonalds NO_ONE did anything

and of course it is unnerving!

I would complain to the bus company. The driver shouldn't have let one of his passengers harass and intimidate another!

I second smite's advice - complain to the bus company. This is NOT ON!

I would definitely complain to the bus company, the driver was an arse.

I know what you mean when you say 'he was just an old man' but anyone can be scary when they invade your personal space or intimidate you.

YANBU to feel shaken.

thank you so much, made me feel a bit better, yes were lots of other passengers and nobody helped, in fairness they might not have realised at first what was happening but personally i couldn't sit and see someone so upset without helping, i think this made me worse. yes i think i will complain smite xx

That is horrible, I hope you feel better soon

There is something just so demeaning and powersapping about being harassed in full public view, no wonder you were in tears

I would have helped you if I had been on that bus

Ohh, I would have been upset too.

Definitely complain. The driver has the power to refuse to let someone that drunk on the bus in the first place and he should not have allowed him to harass you.

Me too. I think a random unpleasant event such as this is often the hardest to deal with because you had no warning.
You are obviously a very nice person otherwise you would be feeling quite differently about it.
I would let it fade from memory and feel the love of Mumsnet.

How horrible - I don't blame you at all for being so upset .

Years ago I was picked on by some mad old loon who followed me into a subway, cornered me and shouted obscenities. There were a few men wandering through at the time and nobody would even look my way . It made me really wobbily about going out on my own for a while.

Yes I would complain to the bus company. The driver is responsible for the safety of his passengers, not just driving the bus around.

One positive (for me) was that it made me more aware of watching out for my own safety - I learnt a bit about how to project confident body language and be more proactive about protecting myself after that. And one thing to remember is that if you feel threatened you absolutely should not worry about making a scene and making sure other people know you are being picked on...

I've asked my friend the ex bus-driver what he would have done - and he was shocked that this driver had failed on so many levels. Although company instructions are not to put yourself in danger, he would have stopped, spoken to the man, and if necessary escorted him off the bus.

Sadly the more people are around the more likely it is that they'll all think someone else will deal with it.

will defo make me more wary, i was doing the 'trying to be nice' thing at first trying to get rid of him nicely, should have been more assertive, ah hindsight is a wonderful thing. and yes i felt the betrayal beertricks as i'm the kind of person who would always help, in fact on the same stretch of road a few months ago there was a man lying on the ground and people were walking round him because he was drunk, i couldn't just leave him so helped him up to a bench and got a policeman to help. hurts when nobody helps you:(