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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To apply for a job and not tell them...

26 replies

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 16:31

That I am pregnant?

I have told them everything else, including about my disability and when I phoned I had asked for a temporary position. I have just returned from the interview and I am now feeling quite bad.

Unsure if I am being really unreasonable.

OP posts:
CocacolaMum · 07/03/2013 16:35

well they are going to find out at some point presumably. Legally you are fine, you didn't have to tell them.. Morally? gawd knows

Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 16:37

See that's what I was thinking, if I get the job and get past the probationary period then they can't fire me for that. My GP told me I don't have to tell them but I am feeling a bit crap for not telling them, however I am pretty sure if they knew then I wouldn't get it and I really need it even if it is just for a couple of months.

OP posts:
Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 16:37

Obviously I might not get it anyway.

OP posts:
Ilovesunflowers · 07/03/2013 17:04

If it's a temporary position I don't see it being a problem. If it's a longer temporary position or it's now permanent then it won't go down well tbh. Legally nothing they can do but it won't be good for relationships between you and your employer.

teatrolley · 07/03/2013 17:07

If you tell them you're pregnant you won't get it, so not telling them is sensible.

Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 17:07

Maybe I should tell them... Just desperate for some work, even if it's just until DC2 arrives.

OP posts:
Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 17:07

True Tea.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 07/03/2013 17:34

"when I phoned I had asked for a temporary position"
So were you responding to a job advert? Were there several positions available?

teatrolley · 07/03/2013 17:36

If they make you an offer, in writing, you can always let them know then if you want to.

maddening · 07/03/2013 17:42

If it is temporary then I wouldn't till you have a job offer in writing.

They won't have to pay your smp I think also as you would claim sma I think instead so there should be no issue on that side either.

Jinsei · 07/03/2013 17:42

Your pregnancy shouldn't make any difference to their decision, so they don't need to know. YANBU.

PanickingIdiot · 07/03/2013 17:43

Keep schtum. Don't mean to be insensitive, but... not all pregnancies result in a baby. Don't feel bad, you need a job, and if they offer it to you it's because you're the best they can get, not because they're doing you a favour you should be grateful for.

TidyDancer · 07/03/2013 17:45

If it's temporary, I don't see a problem.

Legally, even if it's permanent, you don't have to tell them either. I think morally you'd be on shaky ground though, so it depends on the circumstances and how it will make you feel.

sebsmama · 07/03/2013 17:50

I did it. I was about a month gone and found out after I had been invited to interview. If i had told them I would not have got it, I'm sure. I went back and forth on it. It was a large company, and we badly needed the money and subsequent smp.
I did tell them before my probation ended and they kept me on. They were v good actually. I might feel different if it was a small family bsiness, but otherwise dont tell them, esp as its a temp position anyway.

Lovecat · 07/03/2013 17:54

My sister did this. Got the job, told them, then got promoted as soon as she came back from M/L so it obviously didn't spoil her relationship with her employers!

badguider · 07/03/2013 17:55

Are you less than 12 weeks? have you had a scan?
DH and I didn't tell ANYBODY before 12 weeks as we really weren't sure it would all be ok so I certainly wouldn't have told any work.

VonHerrBurton · 07/03/2013 18:18

I've done it. When a few weeks had gone by and my feet were well and truly under the table and everybody liked me ;) I went to them and faux-apologetically told them id just found out and had had no idea. They were lovely, congratulatory and it all worked out fine. Do it. Jobs are hard to come by.

Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 20:23

Where No I wasn't responding to an advert, I phoned them and asked if they were looking myself. It just so happened they were interviewing today anyway.

Bad That's where the feeling bad lies, because I am 20 weeks...

Seb It's not a small company, not a very well known one either but they have a high turnover of staff.

Thanks everyone, I think I am glad I didn't say anything now.

OP posts:
DoJo · 07/03/2013 21:26

I was told by someone in recruitment that employers would rather not know - the only way they can make a decision which is truly fair in which your pregnancy doesn't prejudice them either way is not to know, so by telling them you make their job more difficult.

Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 21:38

That's certainly a good way to look at it.

I do feel bad though that if they hired me and wanted something longer term then they would have to arrange cover or re-advertise the position because I hadn't told them.

Tbh, maybe I am in the wrong, considering how far along I am.

I am totally torn over this.

OP posts:
mrscumberbatch · 07/03/2013 21:47

WAAAH SCHRO! Congratulations Wink

If they have a high turnover of staff I'd assume it might end up being short term for you anyway. Is it a local company? Officey? (Pm me company name and i'll tell you if I know anyone who's temped for them.)

If it makes you feel any better I started my current job when I was pregnant. Told them at 25 weeks (legal requirement.) and that was nearly 4 years ago.

Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 22:00

Did you not know? Thanks, it's just sinking in a bit now. :)

It's not officey and my SIL knows the owners... Will PM you in a bit as you have probably been there!

So 25 weeks is the time you need to tell? That's good to know, thanks for that. :)

I understand that most people in jobs don't say until much later anyways, maybe there is hope.

I might not get it anyway but at least my conscience will be clear. :)

OP posts:
mrscumberbatch · 07/03/2013 22:07

I didn't have a clue. I've been keeping away from MN for a bit as have just started a new business with DP Grin. We are SO skint. It's great fun.

Far as I remember you need to notify employers at 25 weeks so that they can put maternity leave stuff in progress etc. In order to qualify for maternity pay you need to have been working for them for about 15 weeks prior to having the baby. If you don't though don't worry as you'll still get statutory.

I have my fingers crossed for you!!

Original poster
SchroSawMargeryDaw · 07/03/2013 22:20

Wow, you started a business? I hope it's going well! :o

Thanks. Hoping I get it, if not it's not the end of the world but...

:)

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 07/03/2013 22:31

Don't tell them.

Look after yourself first and foremost, legally employers aren't meant to take it into consideration, in reality they almost certainly will. Let them make an unbiased decision, you can inform them later.

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