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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To only buy one present

64 replies

theweeyin · 05/03/2013 18:04

My friend has two children. The eldest is going to be 8 tomorrow and I'm going to pop round with her present & card tomorrow. My friend phoned me about an hour ago asking if i could also bring round a present for her youngest so she doesn't feel left out. I told her that I wouldn't as it's her birthday in April & I will give her a present then. Surely if my friend doesn't want her child to feel 'left out' it's up to her to do something about it? AIBU if I only buy a birthday present for the birthday girl?

OP posts:
CatelynStark · 05/03/2013 18:05

Your friend is being ridiculous! And grabby. And a twat.

HTH :)

YouTheCat · 05/03/2013 18:06

What the hell is going on with all these poor cherubs feeling left out because another sibling has a birthday?

Birthday present for the one having the birthday. If the other kid feels disappointed then that's just bloody tough and probably because the parents are clueless.

pictish · 05/03/2013 18:06

Yanbu. Silly friend.

Hulababy · 05/03/2013 18:07

Yanbu. I wouldn't either.

HecateWhoopass · 05/03/2013 18:07

Not at all.

It is ridiculous. Children have to learn that other people have birthdays! and there's not always something for them.

So she doesn't feel left out. Heaven's above. It's someone else's birthday!

Shutupanddrive · 05/03/2013 18:07

How rude! Shock

Cassarick · 05/03/2013 18:07

I wouldn't either. Why should you have to double-up on presents? Ridiculous.

littlemefi · 05/03/2013 18:08

How cheeky! YANBU, whatever age the child is, they have to learn that birthdays are about the person whose birthday it is.

If your friend chooses to buy something for the little one, that's her responsibility, not yours!

SecretNutellaFix · 05/03/2013 18:09

That is really rude.

HildaOgden · 05/03/2013 18:09

Stick to your guns and don't do it.

Are you expected to do the same again in April when the next birthday comes? ie buy the 'unbirthday' girl a present then too?

Silly woman (her,not you).How is it a special day for the birthday girl if she isn't the one who gets the pressie/attention?

What did your friend say when you said you wouldn't do it?

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 05/03/2013 18:09

YANBU!

I always send a gift for older siblings when a new baby is born because I worry they will feel pushed out by the new arrival, but for a birthday for older children? Not a chance!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 05/03/2013 18:14

Tell her that you will but its not your birthday either so can she buy you a present too, then send her an amazon wish list of very expensive items to choose your unbirthday present from. Grin

Original poster
theweeyin · 05/03/2013 18:14

hilda My friend told me she thought i was being quite mean. I told her that when i was young and it was my brothers birthday I never got presents. She then said well it's up to you.

OP posts:
BlueberryHill · 05/03/2013 18:15

YANBU, I thought this was a twins thread before I read the OP. Agree with everyone else, how stupid is your friend? (sorry to be a bit rude there)

HecateWhoopass · 05/03/2013 18:16

You're not mean, she's being silly.

BlueberryHill · 05/03/2013 18:16

Actually after the last post, I think she is really stupid and very rude.

mammmamia · 05/03/2013 18:18

I thought this was a twins thread too! And was coming on to say I wouldn't mind if people brought my 3yo twins only one present on their birthday. They have too much stuff and its good for them to learn to share.
YANBU!

HildaOgden · 05/03/2013 18:19

She sounds ridiculous and petulant.And she's going the right way about training her dd's to be the same!!

Does she give your children presents when it's their siblings birthdays?Not that it matters if she does,that's her choice.....but telling people to buy for the second child too is totally crackers.

To be honest,I'd find it difficult to show up at all with any present at all if I was told I was being mean like that.

MrsSpagBol · 05/03/2013 18:22

What hilda said!!

Original poster
theweeyin · 05/03/2013 18:22

Thanks everyone. I didn't think I was BU but wanted to get other peoples opinion on this.

OP posts:
RobotHamster · 05/03/2013 18:22

My mum used to do this for my younger siblings on my birthday, so they wouldn't feel left out,it was crap and pointless and made them both think they were entitled to help themselves to my things so they didn't miss out

I got nothing when it was their birthday though because I was the eldest and should 'set a good example'

MrsSonky · 05/03/2013 18:26

I'm having an Alice in Wonderland moment.

"a very happy unbirthday to you"
"to me?"
"to you"

KC225 · 05/03/2013 18:26

Same as mammamia - I have twins and came on to say joint present is fine and much appreciated.

I was not expecting bring another present ...... YANBU go with one present and say breathlessly 'didn't have time to get another present' - what a cheek

EarlyInTheMorning · 05/03/2013 18:28

That's rude, vulgar, ridiculous, she's being a bad friend and a bad parent

SecretNutellaFix · 05/03/2013 18:32

Same as robothamster.

I still remember my fifth birthday when my sister threw a strop because I had some presents.My grandmother gave her a £10 note and she waved it in my face.

Did I get anything when it was hers? No.

It often happened that she got just because she was the youngest. I grew up to resent her and she has grown up with a massive sense of entitlement. We still don't get on very well.