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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this takes the p*** !

55 replies

Arabellamilla · 05/03/2013 17:55

One of my kids has two boys in his class who are having a joint birthday party, great, fine, kids will love it.

Then today I get an email, one of the mums friends ( another mum) is having a collection for the 2 children, cash that is, and please will we put our names on the envelope an bring it to her outside the classroom at picking up time.... The message goes on to inform us that she will let us all know how much they collect and let the mums know who contributed what ?? EHHHHHHHHHHHHH .??
I must be getting on a bit because i thought Birthday parties were about kids having fun and mums bringing little gifts along (normally something left over from last party you had ;) lol) Maybe im wrong but WTF ?? Is this not out of hand now or am I just stuck in the past ??

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 05/03/2013 17:57

I'd just email back and say you prefer to buy your own gift. Seems a bit bloody cheeky to me.

HecateWhoopass · 05/03/2013 17:58

I'd just email back

No thanks. I've already got their gifts.

atthewelles · 05/03/2013 17:58

YANBU and the birthday boys would probably prefer to get lots of parcels than one big present from all the party goers.

FlowerTruck · 05/03/2013 17:59

How odd. Just take your own gift.

ginmakesitallok · 05/03/2013 17:59

I wuoldn't even e-mail her back - just ignore. How odd?

CocacolaMum · 05/03/2013 17:59

I wouldn't touch this with a barge pole. Sounds like they are trying to pay for the party with "voluntary" contributions - no way.

Mynewmoniker · 05/03/2013 17:59

I would just say you won't need to make a contribution as you have already purchased a prezzy for each, thank you.

A bit cheeky of the other mum to put herself in charge IMO

LindyHemming · 05/03/2013 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFallenNinja · 05/03/2013 18:00

Sounds very high pressure. Tell her to get stuffed.

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/03/2013 18:01

That's so grasping

atthewelles · 05/03/2013 18:02

The idea of telling every mum 'who contributed what' Shock Nothing like putting pressure on people.

Seriously I would refuse to get involved. Way OTT behaviour from that other mum.

DeepPurple · 05/03/2013 18:06

WTAF? Shock

asleb · 05/03/2013 18:14

That's really weird. I would just say you already got pressies. How rude!

flangledoodle · 05/03/2013 18:23

WTF I can't stand things like that. YANBU

BramshawHill · 05/03/2013 18:45

That's awful and greedy. Have a quiet word with the other mums? They might be feeling the same as you but be going along with it for fear of being the odd one out, get everyone to just get presents!

BramshawHill · 05/03/2013 18:45

That's awful and greedy. Have a quiet word with the other mums? They might be feeling the same as you but be going along with it for fear of being the odd one out, get everyone to just get presents!

NeverWinsMNComps · 05/03/2013 19:53

That is one of the oddest things I've ever heard. It's not like a collection for a leaving present! I hope nobody goes along with it.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 05/03/2013 19:54

Yeeurgh, that's just cringey behaviour. YANBU at all, and I would probably ignore the email and turn up with something nice for the children that I had picked out myself.

NeverWinsMNComps · 05/03/2013 19:58

Also, what kind of message does that send to the kids invited to the party? I encourage my kids to think about their mates and choose a gift that they will enjoy. If the parents just chuck money in an envelope, the children are completely removed from the process.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/03/2013 20:02

Wow, talk about grabby and rude. Its about the bloody kids, some people.

Molehillmountain · 05/03/2013 20:04

Sorry-all gifts for parties are chosen by the dc from my present stash. I assume most people operate like this.

TickledOnion · 05/03/2013 20:05

I have heard of this before. I think the idea is that the birthday child gets 1 or 2 big presents that they actually want rather than 20 small presents that they (or rather, their parents) don't want.

PuggyMum · 05/03/2013 20:07

Is everyone copied into the email? I'd reply to all saying you have already sorted prezzies. Very cheeky and grasping!

kinkyfuckery · 05/03/2013 20:08

Wow. Just tell them you'd rather buy the gifts. I'd probably just give cash to the collection, because it's easier for me Blush

Floggingmolly · 05/03/2013 20:08

If you don't want 20 small presents, don't invite 20 small children to your party...