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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

slapped child

29 replies

bangwhizz · 05/03/2013 09:42

Want to be very general here. DD goes to an afterschool club which is not I don't think run by the school, an instructor comes in. She said 'I will slap anone who make xxx mistake'.DD did make that mistake and she slapped her arm.
I have had corroboration of events from another child there who said it wasn't a hard slap but definitely a salp.When I asked whether them if it was done in a jokey way they said they weren't sure -maybe it was.
It doesn't sit easy with me and obviously DD would not have told me about it if she hadn't thought it odd. She is 10. would you m,ention it to anyone?

OP posts:
Original poster
bangwhizz · 05/03/2013 09:43

I need quick answers hence double posting from primary ed

OP posts:
nilbyname · 05/03/2013 09:44

Yes I would mention it! Talk to the HT asap!

Moominsarescary · 05/03/2013 09:46

Yes I'd mention it even if it was done in a jokey way

MidniteScribbler · 05/03/2013 09:47

Hell no YANBU!!!! Complain. Loudly! No sensible teacher would ever think this is acceptable.

Littleturkish · 05/03/2013 09:52

This is dreadful- modelling terrible behaviour.

Complain, loudly!

GooseyLoosey · 05/03/2013 09:53

Yes I would mention it. Even if it was done in a jokey way, it is not appropriate.

aldiwhore · 05/03/2013 09:56

Even in jest it's unacceptable. I would certainly be having a word (a calm one initially) with the Head.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/03/2013 09:57

Absolutely mention it. This is clearly not a class teacher but an external sports club; even the mere threat of slapping someone is bad enough. This person was behaving entirely inappropriately and needs to be disciplined.

MolotovCocktail · 05/03/2013 09:59

Yup - and their contract removed. No adult would ever slap either of my DDs and get away with it.

steppemum · 05/03/2013 10:00

not acceptable in any way.

No adult should smack or hit any child in their care (this is not part of the 'smacking' debate, that is soley around parents, this adult is not the parent)

I am pretty sure it is illegal.

What to do? First complain. Phone up school, ask who runs club. Tell the school of the incident. I suggest you ask to speak to someone other than the secretary. EG in our school one of the teachers is a community teacher and she overseas afterschool clubs. (you may need to wait for her to phone back, make sure she knows it is urgent.
School should be horrified by the incident, and act. Ask the school specifically what it will do.

If school says it is none of their business as they don't run club, point out it is run on their premises. Get the name and number of person responsible for club. Phone them and report incident.

If none of these routes gets action, then put the complaint in writing to the school and club organisers.

Do think about the action you want - do you want this person sacked? Do you want an apology from organisers and assurance it won't happen again? What action do you want to see?

steppemum · 05/03/2013 10:01

PS in these situations a calm reasonable complaint goes a lot further than an angry upset one.

lurkedtoolong · 05/03/2013 10:07

Absolutely unacceptable. I'm a Brownie Leader and this kind of behaviour is absolutely forbidden. Even in jest, even "light slaps". It's wrong. Please do complain.

JohnBender88 · 05/03/2013 10:12

A teacher hit my hand between her hand and the desk when I was 6. She was sacked straight away. "Jokey" or not, it's not acceptable.

gerbilsarefun · 05/03/2013 10:27

I agree with the other posters, go and tell the school, this is unacceptable IMO. I wouldn't tap, or threaten to tap a child at school in a jokey way, except my dd (I'm a midday supervisor).

Jenny70 · 05/03/2013 10:55

Not appropriate at all,

But I can see how perhaps it was said in a jokey way - "anyone starting a sentence with Then will be slapped" - ie. please don't this, I can't read another sentence starting with Then...

But actually slapping child on the arm (unless a fake slap in jest), is wrong.

I think mentioning it to someone (?HT, after schoool club contact) is the correct thing to do, but I wouldn't go in "all guns blazing" unless I knew more about what lead to it.

Poppet48 · 05/03/2013 11:12

I would be furious OP!

Definitely complain, It is completely wrong even if it was a joke.

fortifiedwithtea · 05/03/2013 13:04

If you wanted to take this far, you could log the incident with the police as a common assault. That is an assault with fist or hand only; resulting in no or minor trifling injury.

The defence that the after school club personcould use, is that of loco parentis under Section 58 of the Children Act 2004. Provided that the person in question could show that slapping your child's arm was a reasonable chastisement.

For making a mistake, not being naughty. I don't think they have a leg to stand on. But I'm not a legal rofessional.

YANBU. Go and complain.

ukatlast · 05/03/2013 13:09

How weird? Mistake in a game or what? YANBU. Find out more.

nannyof3 · 05/03/2013 13:31

Sorry but i would hit her!!

I know this is not the answer but if she put her hand on my child, she wud not have the opportunity to do it again!!!!!!

Complain !!!!

DorsetLass · 05/03/2013 13:34

Would be livid - but calm complaint as above best way forward - although I would be very firm there was an actioned response.

IllGetOverIt · 05/03/2013 13:34

Bet she wouldn't have done and said it had you been in the room.

Complain.

MajaBiene · 05/03/2013 13:35

Probably a joke, but not acceptable.

weegiemum · 05/03/2013 13:36

This isn't just wrong. It's serious professional misconduct. As a teacher I'd expect to be suspended pending investigation if I slapped a child!

Icelollycraving · 05/03/2013 14:51

Entirely unacceptable! I'm suprised you even need to ask.

Tailtwister · 05/03/2013 14:55

Yes, you should definitely mention it. Even if it was said as a joke, it's not acceptable.

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