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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect 3yo DD to taste her dinner...

26 replies

iliketea · 20/02/2013 18:46

Dd will not taste most of the food I make for her meals, telling me it's disgusting. She has however tasted today

her own bogies
some paper tissue, after she wiped her nose with it
a wasabi peanut that dh dropped (ate it and asked for more!)

Is it too much to ask that she at leasts tastes her dinner? I offerred to put bogies in her bolognase and she informed me "no mummy, I don't like bolognase".

FFS!!!

OP posts:

foreverondiet · 20/02/2013 18:49

My ds2 almost three v fussy eater. Have been to see paediatrician. Apparently answer is to stop all daytime snacking so they are starving at mealtime, limited milk (one small beaker with breakfast ok) and don't give alternatives when they refuse food, ie they go to bed hungry. Harsh but it does work.

AllYoursBabooshka · 20/02/2013 18:50

Sorry but :o.

DS literally ran screaming from the cottage pie I had made on Monday. He hates mash but I always try.

Good thing we aren't easily offended, right?

mumfordanddaughters · 20/02/2013 18:50

YANBU. However, YAB utterly over optimistic :)

AllYoursBabooshka · 20/02/2013 18:52

Forgot to add - apart from the wonderful delights you listed - what else does she enjoy.

DS is a very plain eater so he struggles with things like bolognase.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 20/02/2013 18:52

Luckily DD tries everything. DS however, eats pretty much NOWT. I wasn't worried about it but now I'm starting to think he's going to be one of those adults who will only eat mash and plain pasta, or something

ChunkyPickle · 20/02/2013 18:53

DS happily tries anything, then if he doesn't like it demands my hand to spit it into - I assume as a punishment for attempting to poison him with such trash as a tuna-mayo sandwich..

I reckon all you can do is not make a fuss - fuss just encourages them to play up to it.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 20/02/2013 18:53

PS YANBU

littlewhitebag · 20/02/2013 18:53

My DD would not eat 'wet' food at that age so she ate boiled plain pasta with some ham and some carrots or broccoli. It was a pita but at age 15 she now eats every thing. It too will pass.

littlewhitebag · 20/02/2013 18:54

That looks like that is all my DD ate - but that was just her Bolognese alternative!

AllYoursBabooshka · 20/02/2013 18:56

That's DS littlewhitebag, He also hates anything mushy.

He's an odd little sausage so it's good to hear he could grow out of it.

MajaBiene · 20/02/2013 18:57

I would be livid if a child told me that food I had prepared for them is disgusting!

bigbadbarry · 20/02/2013 19:00

Yes, it is annoying Maja - but what are you going to do? 3 year olds don't empathise and feel bad that you have been cooking for them!

Original poster

iliketea · 20/02/2013 19:00

She likes

fishfingers ("only from the box mummy, not the ones you made"
sausages on occasions".
eggy bread ("i don't like egg mummy, unless it's in the bread)
olives (we've not found a flavour she doesn't like, we limit them because they're full of salt).

To be fair, I'm probably just a grump today - she will eat almost every type of vegetable or fruit I give her. i just worry that she never gets enough protein because she won't even taste meat or pulses that I make. I don't mind her not liking things, but it does drive me a bit potty when she tells me she doesn't like her dinner when she's not even had a single bit near her mouth.

We don't do snacks, because I thought that was the problem; and I have done the "go to bed hungry" technique, but she justs wakes up at 3am starving and crying for breakfast - that is never a good start to the day for us or for her!

OP posts:

bigbadbarry · 20/02/2013 19:04

Apparently my DH survived until he was 5 on a selection of about 6 items (can't remember now...porridge, orange juice, peanuts...something else). He eats perfectly normally now. I remind myself of this when she decides that today she is not eating . Will she eat hummous? Cheese? Tofu? (just trying to think of other proteiny things for you :) )

AllYoursBabooshka · 20/02/2013 19:09

Some fruits and veggies with protein

Iggly · 20/02/2013 19:11

PMSL

My ds does this - he's 3.

However he tells me it's disgusting then eats it anyway.

I had to cut down on snacks to make sure he ate decent meals.

ByTheWay1 · 20/02/2013 19:12

I agree with MajaB.. I too would be livid....

but I am told often that I am "strange" since I have always expected my kids to eat what is put in front of them and them telling me it was "disgusting" would have been deemed unacceptable behaviour in our house and they would have had their screen time removed for a while....

but then again, when they were little we had no money to spare, so they didn't get anything else.... and had an apple if they were hungry between meals. Now they are 10 and 12, one does not like raw cheese, the other does not like green beans or the skins off tomatoes... not really a problem.

What do you do if she doesn't eat it?

Iggly · 20/02/2013 19:14

Try not to react. So just say ok when she says it is disgusting.

Ask her to have one spoon/fork and ignore her until she does. The second she has a forkful, tell her thank you. And if she keeps eating, just leave her to it (dont want her to think she needs to eat everything for praise iyswim). If she's hungry she'll eat the rest

However maybe she doesn't like your food. Although her "likes" looks quite salty so I'd be cutting down as maybe she has a taste for it?

Original poster

iliketea · 20/02/2013 19:41

I don't react, generally just eat mine and then potter around the kitchen tidying up until she tells me she's "finished". She gets fishfingers max once a week, and sausages max every other week, plus eggy bread once or twice a week (for the protein /iron more than anything). The only cheese she will eat is dairylea on oatcakes (I let her have dairylea once or twice a week), no to hummous. The rest of the time, she survives on vegetables and potatoes.

It's such a minefield - don't want to turn mealtimes into a battle, don't want her to end up anaemic from too little iron, trying to manage the sugar / salt content so it's not too high!

Thanks for the link re: higher protein fruit and veg - that's good to know.

I will keep my fingers crossed it's just a phase, me and dh eat a wide varied diet, and offer her things off our plates.

OP posts:

MajaBiene · 20/02/2013 19:57

I would find a child describing something as disgusting as very rude and unacceptable behaviour. No one has to eat anything they don't want to in my house but I don't tolerate rudeness. Bigbadbarry - do you really just shrug your shoulders and say "what can you do?" when your 3 year old is rude?

bigbadbarry · 20/02/2013 20:00

No: I would tell her it was rude and that if she did it again I would take her plate away. I wouldn't be "livid" though.

Original poster

iliketea · 20/02/2013 20:19

Btw when she says it's disgusting I do tell her it's not a nice thing to say, and if she doesn't like it to leave it on her plate. BUT I'm not livid - surely toddlerhood is the time when you push social boundaries and get taught what's acceptable behaviour and what isn't. ( and I'm hoping she eventually learns socially acceptable behaviour is eating what you are given!!)

OP posts:

ConferencePear · 20/02/2013 20:58

I have a French friend who insists that her children must try anything she gives them at least once. Only after that are they allowed to say they don't like something. Her DS now 8 eats everything she puts before him and DD now 3 will try anything.
She just treats it all in a very matter of act way and if they don't like it doesn't offer alternatives. It works for her.

Iggly · 20/02/2013 20:59

The thing is a 3 year old doesn't quite get the notion of something being rude. You give them a reaction, they'll keep saying it.
My three year old declared something was a disaster the other day. He didn't get just how extreme it sounded - it's just a word to him.
My ds went through a phase of calling food disgusting. He stopped once we stopped reacting.

Idocrazythings · 20/02/2013 21:12

I had a discussion yesterday with this old lady bat at the doctors somehow we were talking about fussy DS. She tells me about a study she read linking lack of a varied diet when pregnant and breastfeeding to fussiness in toddlers! Wish I'd have said the mumsnet "did you mean to be rude?" Or told her he was still breastfeeding!

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