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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Valentine's Day is for kids

34 replies

atthewelles · 12/02/2013 12:53

Sorry, but I just don't see anything romantic about being given flowers and a card on a prescribed day when everyone is getting them and shops have bumped up their prices to take advantage of the situation.

I also don't feel romantic sitting in an overcrowded restaurant, full of self concious couples, being ripped off for a meal that is being thrown at us because restaurant is packed to the gills and trying to make as much money as possible because its Valentine's day.

AIBU to think Valentine's Day stops feeling romantic when you are no longer a teenager giggling over who got a card from who? Or am I just a grumpy cynical old cow? Smile

OP posts:
Ihatemytoes · 12/02/2013 12:54

I agree with you, but I think we may be in the minority!

MrsKeithRichards · 12/02/2013 12:55

YANBU!

ScarletLady02 · 12/02/2013 12:56

I get why you feel like that but I always like to make an effort for Valentine's Day. It's not that I don't for the rest of the year, but when you're swept up in the stresses of life and being a parent, it's nice to have a night dedicated to just the two of you. It doesn't have to be Valentine's Day obviously.

FWIW I'm cooking an Indian feast....it's an excuse to try some new recipes and buy lots of random spices I don't usually have Grin

I've just realised that first paragraph sounds INCREDIBLY cheesy....sorry MN

KellyElly · 12/02/2013 12:56

YANBU for thinking this. YABU for thinking other people shouldn't enjoy it just because they're passed the age of 20.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 12/02/2013 12:57

I agree with you nothing romantic about it at all.

DP is cooking me a nice meal on Thursday though, but only because it's his turn to cook Wink

Original poster
atthewelles · 12/02/2013 13:25

I also find it cringey when someone's DP sends them flowers at work. It just screams of 'look, look what a romantic couple we are'.

Ok, I am very cynical Sad.

OP posts:
NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 12/02/2013 13:28

V. Day is far too commercialised for us so we don't participate.

Why show the person you care about that you love them on one day of the year? You should be doing it 365 days a year without wasting money :)

KumquatMae · 12/02/2013 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scrunchorfold · 12/02/2013 13:41

I bloody love Valentine's Day! It's my first Valentine's as a married woman so I'm making the most of it Grin.

Neither DH nor I do flowers or cards, but we like the excuse to do something special as a couple. We avoid all the commercial stuff though - it's about spending quality time together and finding gifts that the other will appreciate, not how much you spend. I often cook/make something for DH, or organise something he doesn't have time to do but doesn't cost very much at all.

Aspiemum2 · 12/02/2013 13:45

Personally it does nothing for me. Dh and I are rushed off our feet with 4 dc and I just can't be bothered with it right now. I don't really get the purpose iyswim?

I love our anniversary though so I suppose that's our equivalent and if we weren't married, so didn't already have a date to celebrate, maybe valentines day would mean more? Pre marriage I guess we did make more effort on valentines day

Original poster
atthewelles · 12/02/2013 13:50

just doing it because everyone else does,

But why else are they doing it?

OP posts:
Purple2012 · 12/02/2013 14:10

Yanbu. We don't do valentines day. We are romantic and thoughtful all year round. We don't need a day to force us to be romantic.

KellyElly · 12/02/2013 14:11

But you could say that about Christmas or Easter or any event atthewells. I don't buy DD Christmas presents just because all the other kids are getting them, I do it because that's an event we as a family celebrate. So couples choosing to mark/celebrate Valentine's is the same surely.

KobayashiMaru · 12/02/2013 14:34

Its the same as birthdays, or Christmas, or anything. You only buy gifts for your family then because its the done thing, on a prescribed day, that everyone else does too. How is this any different?

Do it, don't do it, whatever, but its churlish and mean spirited to moan about other people who do it because they want to.

CharlieMouseWillDoIt · 12/02/2013 14:37

YANBU. The anniversary of when DH and I met is 11 Feb, so we prefer to celebrate then rather than 14 Feb. I remember some of my ex-colleagues were aghast one year when I said that my DH (then boyfriend) hadn't bought me anything, even after I had explained that we had gone out for a meal three nights earlier for our anniversary.

Having said that, I have never received an anonymous genuine Valentine's card, and I sometimes wish that DH and I had met slightly earlier so that I could have had one. (We did exchange "happy Valentine's day" emails though Smile).

Original poster
atthewelles · 12/02/2013 14:50

I'm not moaning about them Kobaya. I'm just wondering why adults find it romantic when its so set up and contrived. To me romance is spontaneous eg DH arriving home with a bunch of flowers on a miserable Tues evening when you're about to dish up the shepherd's pie.

Christmas and birthdays aren't the same. They're not meant to be romantic.

OP posts:
TheElephantIsADaintyBird · 12/02/2013 15:04

Lighten up, it's just a bit of fun.

I do hate how much pressure there can be over it though. A card and a box of chocolates will do me :)

DeWe · 12/02/2013 15:07

Charlie our anniversary of when we met is 12th February. Dh often says he wishes it was 2 days after Valentine's day rather than 2 days before as flowers etc. would be cheaper. Grin

He gave me some nice chocolates this morning.

MyDarlingClementine · 12/02/2013 15:11

I felt very romantic in our beautiful huge suite in Venice, same in New York etc etc. It is what you make it. This year, DH will probably make me a meal, with no flowers in sight and I asked for no card.

With so much going on around us, to have a day devoted to Love is a joy and makes us take that extra little bit of notice.

It doesnt have to be about over priced flowers and restaurants on the day!

BrainSurgeon · 12/02/2013 15:14

DH and I have a competition every year, to send each other the funniest Valentines card we can get our hands on. It does make us smile so why not? No hearts and flowers and dinners involved.
One year though we bought almost identical cards, based on an in-joke from a few years before. Now THAT was romantic!

KellyElly · 12/02/2013 15:45

To me romance is spontaneous eg DH arriving home with a bunch of flowers on a miserable Tues evening when you're about to dish up the shepherd's pie. You answered your own question when you said 'to me' - everyone's different. What's good for you won't be for someone else. Some people will think flowers are a waste of money. Each to their own and all that.

Original poster
atthewelles · 12/02/2013 15:49

True I suppose Kelly. To each their own and all that. I'm also the type that doesn't understand planning a trip to Paris in order to 'get engaged' at the top of the Eiffel Tower or somesuch. To me romantic proposals are also spontaneous ones somewhere unexpected. But we're all different, I suppose.

OP posts:
MomaP · 12/02/2013 15:58

I completely agree.
My husband and I don't celebrate it. We used to buy each other overly priced chocolate etc when we were in our teens, but soon realised what a waste of time and money it was.
The only thing we do celebrate is our wedding anniversary, much more intimate and actually something more worthy of celebrating our love for each other - or more to the point, coping with each other for so long Grin Grin haha!

All that aside, I did buy my husband and our DS (5) a (I ? you) cookie from morrisons earlier. (50p each) -- that's as far as my money will stretch regarding Valentine's Day!!

calandarbear · 12/02/2013 16:02

I agree, I love my husband every day and treat him when I want too not a prescribed day.
The same with my mum and dad, so I never was very interested in it as a teenager either.
We don't do mothers day, fathers day, or cards and presents at easter or birthdays other than for the children.

soontobeburns · 12/02/2013 16:08

My DP is very romantic and I like to think I am too so its not pressure on valentines but I love it :-)

Its an excuse just to go all out and be romantic. Its hard to explain but I love it.