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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend buys the same clothes as me

33 replies

Chippychop · 10/02/2013 23:18

I've know her 3 years, we've become really good friends but in the last two years or so she bought lots of the same 'staples' ive got...Patent leather boots, like mine, navy blue duvet coat wears them with a pink scarf, - like mine, I've just bought some leggings/ jeggings M&S best, she's gone and bought similar
I bought a new blazer, she's just announced she's going to get one. AIBU or paranoid? She's getting on my nerves.. I don't (deliberately) tell her when I buy new stuff but I can see her concentrating when I turn up with something new. She's a lovely friend and I'd hate to upset her but she's doing my head in.

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 10/02/2013 23:21

Immitation is the most sincere form of flattery.

Why not offer to go shopping with her and help her choose a look thatsuits her, rather than have her 'copy' you?

But in all honesty, take it as a compliment to your impeccable taste.

SparklyAntlersInMyDecorating · 10/02/2013 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Chippychop · 10/02/2013 23:40

As Joan rivers said immitation is not flattering it's just bloody annoying .
May tell her I've bought something "wacky" to see what happens ( ha ha not so nice friend!)

OP posts:

FreshLeticia · 10/02/2013 23:42

Sparkly

Laradaclara · 10/02/2013 23:47

I had a friend like that. We'd go shopping together, I'd pick something up with a view to trying it on and say something like 'I like this'' and on more than one occasion she'd pick one up as well having decided it was the perfect thing for her! I stopped shopping with her rapidly.

hatgirl · 11/02/2013 00:11

hmm I can see it from the other side. I'm crap at buying clothes for myself and don't understand fashion. I generally take cues from others who have a similar build/ style to me as to how to wear things. I don't out and out copy anyone and would be mortified if I thought they thought I did but I really need help from others on how to mix clothes together.

I would take it as a compliment, she clearly thinks you look good in what you wear and hasn't got the same confidence to come up with her own version of a style. Make helpful, genuine suggestions about 'this and this would look good on you' but 'would look crap on me'.

IneedAsockamnesty · 11/02/2013 00:59

If your between the ages of 10 and 19 yanbu to have a complete rant at her.

Over those ages then amuse yourself with it. Onesies and wellies in public spring to mind add a flamboyant scarf and suddenly it looks like your creating 'a look'

ENormaSnob · 11/02/2013 08:38

Yanbu

I have a friend that does this.

It's totally irritating tbh.

JeffFaFa · 11/02/2013 09:47

If shes buying identical items i see your point but if its just similar style then i dont see the problem, i base my style on my best friends i know nothing about fashion and she is trendy and always looks pulled together, we dont wear the same clothes though.

ENormaSnob · 11/02/2013 09:51

My friend sometimes buys an identical item or sometimes varies the colour.

Either way it gets right on my tits.

Theicingontop · 11/02/2013 09:53

My friend and I dress similarly. We live in a small town and have very limited clothing shops, we end up buying very similar things.

Last week we turned up to have lunch in the same jumper, similar jeans and both wearing boots. We found it funny.

Life is too short.

BeCool · 11/02/2013 09:57

hmmmmmm - I think your friend could do with a little educating re personal style & shopping. Perhaps you could help her - some of us need a helping hand as it doesn't come natural, and she clearly likes the way you look.

OTOH I hate to break it to you OP but black patent boots, navy duffel coat, jeggings and blazers are hardly original style statements. The shops are full of this stuff.

freddiefrog · 11/02/2013 09:57

We had friends like this, it felt more like stalking than flattery to be honest

She bought the exact same clothes as me, same household stuff, then it moved on to exactly the same car, culminating in them nicking our wedding date and venue - they came with us to look at a venue and knew what date we were planning on, before we had a chance to confirm anything the booked the venue for the exact date we'd discussed

We moved away from the area and don't really keep in touch anymore, it all got a bit weird

ENormaSnob · 11/02/2013 09:59

That's how I feel.

It is starting to creep into other areas too, not just clothes.

Very creepy imo.

Nothing flattering about it.

MrsKeithRichards · 11/02/2013 10:51

It doesn't sound like you're wearing anything particularly special or unique. It sounds quite plain and uniform so stands to reason if you dress with the masses someone will have the same stuff as you.

PretzelTime · 11/02/2013 10:54

That's not just a bit weird freddie! They nicked your wedding date and venue

Why do people do this and what's wrong with them?! I mean when it gets that serious, not just buying clothes that looks a bit similar like hatgirl.

Lovelygoldboots · 11/02/2013 10:58

I unintentionally dress same as my friend quite often . Freddies experience sounds like the film Single White Female.

ScarletLady02 · 11/02/2013 11:01

If someone started copying my style I be really annoyed, but then my style is pretty "out there" so it would look stupid and obvious. I agree with the others, wear something outlandish

When it gets into the realms of weird is when a girl who your DH sees every morning when walking the dog starts trying to copy your unique style (dreads and all)....I'm sure she has a crush on him, bless her...

freddiefrog · 11/02/2013 11:40

That's not just a bit weird freddie! They nicked your wedding date and venue

I can laugh about it now, but it was odd at the time. We didn't know the full extent of it either, we were told other stuff by other friends later on - one friend who I'd spent the day shopping with once said she'd almost interrogated her about what shops we'd been in and what I'd bought

I don't know why they did it, all our friends knew the date we had chosen as we had openly discussed it as it was a special date for us. All our friends said keep the date and they'd come to our wedding anyway, but we didn't want to get involved in a date war - still niggles me a bit though 11 years later

She had her own style which was totally different to what I wore so it was a bit disconcerting to start seeing her in exactly the same clothes, their house was a totally different style to ours which over time became pretty much a replica of our house, then the same car - exactly the same - same year, same cc, same colour

After the wedding thing, we withdrew a bit and then we moved away about a year after we got married and apart from the odd hello on Facebook we don't have any contact with them now. Another friend of ours had a child in the same school as theirs for a while and I vaguely remember there being some oddness with another couple, but our friends have moved away too now, so we haven't heard from them for a while

I've no idea why us, I'm no style queen, our house interior didn't come from Homes and Gardens or anything and our wedding venue wasn't The Ritz or anything. The DH was an old school friend of my DH. Very odd

FightingForSurvival · 11/02/2013 11:42

My mum does it. She has had her hair cut very similar to mine. Copied the colours for kitchen stuff. I am a bit careful now if she is studying me and asking questions about where I got stuff!! I know another girl who's mum has exact same hair, clothes etc, I find it creepy. I find it strange with my mum as she has always been very critical of me in the past! It's not a huge big deal and she has been through a lot lately so I have to let it go, but I do find it uncomfortable but mainly because it shows me she is uncertain about her own taste etc.

Original poster

Chippychop · 11/02/2013 15:04

No I'm no fashion statement and most of it is a uniform... It's just her whole out together look is getting similar. May just revamp my style - good excuse to go shopping at less common shops! Will Learn to chill out, not show her my purchases, and keep up my campaign at telli g her she looks nice in things I know don't suit me. I will return to ask Freddie for advice if it gets more serious

OP posts:

freddiefrog · 11/02/2013 17:31

. Is moving a few hundred miles away an option?

If not, you're on your own

MechanicalTheatre · 11/02/2013 17:34

I went shopping with a new-ish friend recently and she did the same thing.

I picked up a pair of jeans, she picked them up too. I picked up a t-shirt, she picked up the same one.

It was just a bit weird. She didn't even say "oh yeah, those are really nice" or anything, she just went "yeah, I'm buying these".

ODD.

anonacfr · 11/02/2013 19:30

It IS odd. If I was shopping with a friend and she picked up something I liked I wouldn't dream of buying it- unless I 'asked' her first (ie made a point to say that I really liked the piece and I was going to get it).

I hate people copying me (not that they do, apart from a creepy stalkery girl I used to work with years ago). I find it stifling.

Original poster

Chippychop · 11/02/2013 22:09

Do tell about the stalker....

OP posts:

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