To ask what's wrong with me?

[Jayne266]

I have seen a few threads recently about MIL and tbh am prob quite lucky with my DH family except my BIL (see other thread). But since my DS has been born I have been over protective and not wanting to let DS see her. (my dm a small amount but not as much as MIL)
Is this normal? Did you have a good relationship with your MIL and found when you had kids it changed for the worse? Or even with your DM I would love all sides of this relationship to offer there experience.
Are you a MIL or DM or DP who is not getting along with another since kids came along.

How old is your DS?

6.5 months

Why don't you want your dc to see MIL? What does dh think?

I don't know my DH is lovely his mum is elderly and has a better social life than us and he is happy if they all see each other every few weeks. (his choice)

The only thing I can think of is I have a bad relationship with my BIL who lives with his mum.

I had a fantastic relationship with my PIL before I had my ds nearly 5 months old. I lived with them until me and Dp got a house of our own.

It changed when ds was 4 days old and she snatched him out of my hands and said 'oh ill take him, I know what I'm doing'. Also she refused to give him back.

I seen red and have never forgiven her for that. Even now I don't like her holding my ds, I don't stop her but I really don't like it.

However, I am fine with her when I'm holding my son.

Whenever, she is holding him, she will make any excuse not to hand him back when I want him. I'm slowly getting better at telling her. However, I need to grow a set and stop being such a wuss.

I like my MIL.

But when DS was little, I had crazy hormones that hated anyone but myself and DH holding him etc. I did know this was unreasonable but felt very very overprotective. I remember MIL taking DS at a party once and showing him off - he wanted to come back to me and she kept walking him around insisting granny could calm him. I actually wanted to assault her.

BUT I did know this was mad. And the older DS has got, the more I appreciate him having people who love him. And him loving them.

Now when MIL comes to stay and wants to be the one who cuddles DS, I encourage it. I think how lovely it is that there is someone apart from me who finds him endlessly fascinating. I enjoy the pleasure he gets in a close relationship with someone he trusts.

So my advice would be to try and recognise when you are being unreasonable and let it pass. Because it's lovely for children (and you) to have an extended family.

DS is now 2.6 by the way.

Phewww not just me I can see what you mean I just see red. She has just rang out house after being asked multiple times to ring mobiles after 6pm unless it was a emergency and it woke DS up and he was startled and started crying. And she was like "what you all doing".

Unplug the phone or dont answer. It's there for your convenience. [Grin]

I did have a rocky year with my MIL after DC1, we'd got on brilliantly before and do again now.

I think I was a bit crazy hormone pfb, I only wanted DS1 with me or DH or my mum. She isn't a baby person either and I took offence at her not being that interested, rather unfairly really as she loved him but wasn't as hands on as I expected. Now the DCs are older shes fantastic with them and I should of known that but was a bit blinkered.....

You know what I will lol I can't unplug it I would feel guilty but am going to find the silence option on it. Every time I answer it I always have someone wanting to sell something. I had Scottish power a few nights ago at 9pm!
I think am just rambling now DS gets
me up at 4.30am everyday poss tired.