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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off

20 replies

dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 11:50

This wknd is ex's access wknd. He only ever has them sat afternoon till sunday evening.

As per usual it takes me txting him to see if he having them.

2 hours later he replied no i am away.

Well thanks for letting me know you twat

Have had the worst week and we planned to stay at DP's house just for a change of scene.

Oh well, just venting how bloody twatish he is

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 09/02/2013 11:51

YANBU. What an idiot. Sad

BluelightsAndSirens · 09/02/2013 11:51

And that is why he is the ex.

Hassled · 09/02/2013 11:53

Yes, all you can do is congratulate yourself on not living with him anymore. Are the kids upset?

Original poster
dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 11:57

Not really, they know what he's like. DD wasn't going anyway as she doesn't like going. She is having a sleepover at a mates. She generally arranges these for his weekends. She's 12 so have stopped making her go most of the time.
The boys are 13 and 15 and just shrugged when i told them.

Yes thank god he's an ex

OP posts:
HollaAtMeBaby · 09/02/2013 12:22

YANBU to be pissed off but why wait until the day to text him? Also I would think as your kids are teenagers they would want to make their own weekend plans rather than be left with nothing to do.

DeckSwabber · 09/02/2013 12:29

I agree about letting the kids make their own plans.

I got sick of my ex- making out that he didn't see the children because of me. Now when he cancels he has to tell the boys directly and they tell him directly when they don't want to go.

My ex- also had them every other Sat afternoon to Sun afternoon. He thought this was loads.

BattlingFanjos · 09/02/2013 12:29

Not the OPs fault, the guy is a knobber. You shouldn't have to accommodate numptys imo. Yanbu!

Original poster
dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 12:31

Holla the way i see it is its his weekend if he wants to see them he should arrange it with me or them.

They have made plans now and like i said not bothered, but i just think he is a twat for not bothering. He is the one missing out on my fab kids

OP posts:
Original poster
dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 12:34

Deck, thats a good idea, let them arrange dads with him. I don't think they would bother though.

I have tried really hard for them to maintain a relationship with him, he hasn't.
Maybe its time to reap what you sew

OP posts:
Cuddlyrunner · 09/02/2013 12:36

My ex told the kids he'd ring them on Monday, that was almost 19 years ago. To be fair , he didn't say which Monday :-)

Original poster
dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 12:37

Thats awful!! Some men don't deserve to be dads.

Though my stepson has a mother like this do works both ways

OP posts:
BattlingFanjos · 09/02/2013 12:43

Cuddly thats awful. Made me quite sad

Cuddlyrunner · 09/02/2013 12:55

It is sad but they are now all lovely young men. They have seen pics of him on facebook-he hasn't blocked any of us from finding his profile but haven't made contact with him and he hasn't with them. One of them now works in a town about 20 miles away from where he lives and I often wonder if he (their dad) would know him if he saw him in the street. It's not a common surname and it is conceivable that their paths could cross due to their respective professions.

BattlingFanjos · 09/02/2013 13:52

My sister saw our dad about a week ago and he didn't have a clue who she was and last time he saw her was 4 years ago. Very, very odd. I could never imagine being in that position with my DS, sure you're the same.

Sunnywithshowers · 09/02/2013 15:52

YANBU. Sounds like my dad.

I'm in my 40's and we're not closel.

willesden · 09/02/2013 17:19

Hope the DP isn't too cheesed off.

Booyhoo · 09/02/2013 17:33

my ex does this. he told dcs 2 weeks ago that he would have them for a sleepover last weekend (why did he have to tell them?) dcs excited about it all week. i texted him on the thursday evening to confirm. no reply. didn't turn up on saturday for them. no point me texting him to ask why he didn't turn up. he'll lie and either tell me i misheard him or say that he had something very important to do that couldn't be missed and that he knew i would realises at some point he wasn't coming. yes I did, you prick! it's the dcs that wont believe it until it gets to bedtime on saturday night and you're not here!!.

i have to have someone on standby for if my ex says he's having them and i make plans to go out. last weekend i knew to have best friend ready. thankfully she was more than happy to help me out.

i have a holiday coming up. exp is supposed to be having dcs for the week. he has apparently 'pulled alot of strings at work' to enable me to go away. he knows my parents cant have them as my mum is sick now, but i just know he'll pull out. out of spite. grade A asshole.

Original poster
dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 19:52

DP doesn't mind, he basically lives at mine. His place is for sale.
It was for me really a night there, just a break from being here!

Movie night with the boys instead.

OP posts:
Original poster
dietstartsmonday · 09/02/2013 19:53

Boo, back up is a good idea if i have plans!
Hope you get your holiday without hassle

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 10/02/2013 13:21

thanks diet

i know what you mean about just wanting a night in a different house. i can often be found at my friend's house (when boys are with their dad) helping her clean and tidy just to have a change of scenery. i could (and should) be cleaning my own house but you get cabin fever and just need to change the floor you're mopping.

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