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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be struggling to cope with the broken nights?

31 replies

MortifiedAdams · 09/02/2013 06:52

DD is 1.1 and has had nearly a month of broken and poor nights sleep. She goes down at seven and doesnt settle til 11. She can (and often does) wake at 12,2,4 and on til we get up with her at 6.30ish.

She stopped having milk in the night at about eight or nine months, and has supper and milk before bed so I.know it isnt hunger. She currently has a bad nappy rash which we have creams for from the docs, and when she wakes crying in the night we are changing her nappy and re-applying creams to prevent her rash getting worse.

Im clinging on to the fact that it might improve after the rash clears.

I work shiftwork so got in from work at 11.30 last night but it takes me a while.to wind down so fell asleep at 1. DD then woke at 2,4 and six. Nappy changed at 4, re settled the resot of the times. She is asleep now, but I am up as I leave for my next shift at 7am.

I could manage the five hour sleep between shifts if it was unbroken.

I feel bad saying to DH in the mornings "I just want one night of unbroken sleep". He is very good and gets up in the nigt with her too, but as it is a small flat as soon as she wakes we both do.

So so tired.

OP posts:

grobagsforever · 09/02/2013 07:00

She might be hungry, some one year olds do still need milk. Failing that how about you and DH take alternate.nights. with the sleeper wearing ear plugs?

grobagsforever · 09/02/2013 07:01

And sympathies DD was up a lot atthat age.

jendot · 09/02/2013 07:08

I can only offer sympathy, we had a ds who just didn't need to sleep..... Years of hell!

My advice will go against the advice from most I suspect. But personally I would alter a few things from your routine. I would bring evening snack to no later than 6.30pm and then would shunt milk and bedtime to around 8pm ( as an adult if I eat anywhere near bed Time I cannot get to sleep and have a very uncomfortable tummy for the whole night). When she first wakes at midnight ish I would change and nappy cream and then give milk. This should allow her to settle for a solid 6 hours with a clean nappy and full up tummy.
Check the obvious is she warm enough? Not in a draft? Not near to a sudden noise like a boiler clocking in and out? Not too dark? Not too light?
Try the shhh pat method of settling? Look it up online. She is not old enough to reason with yet so is important to establish a clear night time and so she knows what you expect from her when she wakes.

None of these are quick fixes unfortunately.

BusyTiredAndLoveIt · 09/02/2013 07:18

With two babies under 18 months and a school age dc I know exactly how you feel!! (Unfortunately)

I would think it sounds like the nappy rash tbh and I would prob change her each time she woke and I would offer her milk too as it may comfort and settle her quicker.

Make sure she's getting plenty if no nappy time too during the day.

Other than that I think it's one if those things you have to ride out. Hope she makes a speedy recovery though.

Dannilion · 09/02/2013 07:44

Whilst I have no idea what to do about your DD, you do know that those sort of shift patterns are pretty illegal right? Correct me if I'm wrong but I was always led to believe you needed 11 hours between shifts. Even if you didn't have this issue with DD and were sleeping through, this is a seriously unhealthy working pattern

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue · 09/02/2013 07:50

Maybe take a couple of steps back and reintroduce a milk feed in the middle of the night. You can take it back out agan later. It could be hunger, you can't know for certain it isn't

Even if it cut out one of the wakes it would give a 4 hour chunk of sleep.

Also have you tried active relaxation techniques to help you wind down faster after work? I do these when I need an early night, basically a relaxation cd which helps me drop off so at least you max the sleep chance you have.

Agree with taking turns.

And sympathy, it is hard.

MrsMushroom · 09/02/2013 07:55

Can I give you a tip about the nappy rash? Keep her nappiless all day today...no nappy at all apart from nap time. yes she's going to pee on the floor but her rash needs air. When my DDs had rashes I always did this and found it went away the same day or the following day.

Keep the creams off for the day too...so the rash can dry out.Poor you. I do feel for you.x

Eebahgum · 09/02/2013 08:33

I know how you feel, although my ds is only 4 months. Is there anyone who could have dd overnight to give you a break? My ds is currently at grandmas house & I looked forward to my night of uninterrupted sleep all week! I'm currently enjoying lounging in bed & feeling refreshed & ready to tackle another few weeks. X

Minshu · 09/02/2013 08:33

Could it be related to pre molars coming through? My DD didn't show the same knawing signs for them as she did for her first teeth, and we had broken nights at around that age to about 14/15 months. (She cried in her sleep, it was us awake!) A bit of calpol or teething gel may help.

Tee2072 · 09/02/2013 08:34

Teething?

tunnocksteacake · 09/02/2013 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian · 09/02/2013 09:16

I strongly recommend ear plugs and alternate nights with your partner. If you can get even one or two nights of decent sleep a week it makes a huge difference.

Blackberryinoperative · 09/02/2013 09:21

My dd (13 months) still has a little bit of milk in the night. Its not worth fighting over if you get straight back to sleep.

I would chuck a bit of milk (no more than four ounces) down her if she stirs and see how you go. It won't hurt.

Original poster

MortifiedAdams · 09/02/2013 10:03

Thanks for all the responses - lots to try and lots to think about! Shes got three molars but could well be getting another one.

Re the work, I work in a Hotel which is exempt from those laws and works on a weekly basis - as long as within seven days I am given reasonable rest time, its legal. Not that I ever feel like I get a rest

OP posts:

Original poster

MortifiedAdams · 10/02/2013 08:25

Successful night!

Did nappy off from when I got.home from.work til bathtime so a good 2.5hrs. After bath more nappy off time til bed (30mins).

I slathered lots of vaseline on her skin to act as a barrier to the wet nappy overnight and she slept from 7-4 without a murmur. At four I gave her some milk.and she went straight back down til 7.30

All of that coupled with me going to bed at nine meant im chipper this.morning!!

OP posts:

BinksToEnlightenment · 10/02/2013 10:37

Does she have a dummy?

MrsMushroom · 10/02/2013 10:42

Oh that;s good news! Keep doing the bare botty until it's cleared up. x

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/02/2013 10:43

What cream are you using?

If she doesn't have a fungal infection, i found, at the recommendation of DBIL, who is a paediatric nurse, Metanium, mised with Sudacrem to help it spread more easily, to be excellent.

My utmost sympathies. dS 2 s sleep went haywire at around this age. Started with teething, became habit after he stopped teething. i ended up doing CC

DoJo · 10/02/2013 16:15

I was going to sympathise until I saw that you had a good night last night, and now I'm just going to seethe gently with jealousy! Long may it continue and I hope the rash is now on its way out...

Blackberryinoperative · 10/02/2013 18:09

Glad you had a better night. We are having an awful time with teething this weekend. Whingeing, not eating, just awful. Temperature, horrible nappies. And broken nights to top it all. Yuck! Can't stand teething.

Original poster

MortifiedAdams · 10/02/2013 23:18

Yeah she has a dummy we usually leave a good handful.in her cot for her to find.

She has had ruby red cheeks today so theres definetly some tooth activity going on. Not much chance for nappy freeness today as we have been out and about most of the day.

She has been a bit disturbed earlier and crying lots by 10.30 so I gave her a feed which she wolfed down! Maybe she is having a growth spurt.

Sorry to all those also in the midst.of broken.nights, fingers crossed we all start getting some decent stretches.of.sleep soon!

OP posts:

BinksToEnlightenment · 11/02/2013 18:11

Well that's my advice exhausted :o

Glad you've had a couple of better nights. Hopefully she'll be better after the teeth have grown through more

PastaB · 11/02/2013 19:14

Pleased you had a better night. I went through weeks of awful nights with a teething 1yo convinced that I shouldn't offer her milk as I'd read somewhere that this is 'bad'. In the end I gave her milk, sometimes with some calpol and she'd settle really quickly and as soon as the teeth were through she'd go back to sleeping through and obviously not want the milk.

Friends have had exactly the same experience.

MamaBear17 · 11/02/2013 20:31

I would recommend giving her a little milk at night. I still give my 18 month old milk during the night. Not much - only 3 oz - but it settles her enough to have another good chunk of sleep. I have noticed recently that she is starting to sleep through and so is dropping the feed. It isnt every night, but I am confident that she will drop the feed completely when she is ready.

Original poster

MortifiedAdams · 11/02/2013 21:23

My DM (who I see most days) is a big beleiver of 'rod for your own back' and does cats bum mouth if I even go to her in the night.

We are all away next week on a big holiday and ive already said that if dd wakes in the night there I will be giving her milk so as not to wake the others (18 of us in a big self catering house).

Lord.knows why I feel the need to justify myself to her!

OP posts:

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