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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask this Mum to replace my dd trousers?

44 replies

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 15:02

Dd was lining up to go into class today when a boy came barging through the line and pushed her into the wall.
She ended up with cut knees and ripped trousers. When I picked her up,her teacher said that the boy has form for this and has been spoken to each time for it.

WIBU to ask his Mum to replace my dds trousers? It was a pebble dash wall that she was pushed into so they are not easily repaired.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 06/02/2013 15:10

I'd be more worried about the fact that he is causing injury to other children (and it sounds like frequently) and is just 'being spoken to' which isn't working. What are the school planning to do?

CloudsAndTrees · 06/02/2013 15:14

I can see why you'd want to ask, but I wouldn't tbh. There could be a number of things going on.

The Mum could be lovely and really struggling with her ds's behaviour. It might upset her and stress her out a lot more if you ask her to find money that she might not have.

On the other hand, she might be a horrible person who has transferred that to her child, in which case she will have no sympathy with your position, tell you to where to go, and you will end up more annoyed than you already are.

I'd talk to the teacher and tell her than you want the boys parents to be told exactly what happened, and that the trousers are ruined, and if they are half decent people then they will offer to replace. If they aren't, then you have saved yourself a confrontation.

Youcanringmybell · 06/02/2013 15:17

I wouldn't, no. I would expect the parents to be called into the school though for a discussion on his behaviour!

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 15:18

He was sent to detention for pushing dd and the school always informs parents of their childs detention.

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Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 15:21

Dd will have to wear tracksuit bottoms into school until I can get the money together. They are a weird blue colour that is only sold in the local sports shop,not common Greg or navy.

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Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 15:21

Grey or navy *

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nefertarii · 06/02/2013 15:34

Personally I would speak to the parent directly. The schools steps obviously are not working.

if you are not comfortable with that, insist the school do more. Your child has a right not to be shoved and injured, regardless of this boys issues.

JoanByers · 06/02/2013 15:44

TBH I would ask the school. They have a responsibility to protect your daughter from this child, and they have failed in that.

I don't see why you should pay for them.

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 15:48

Well I can't be told what's going on with this boy but in all fairness I shouldn't have to shoulder the cost. But I will accept IABU and replace them.

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Lora1982 · 06/02/2013 15:49

If the school have spoken to his mum about it before this obviously isnt working praps get them to step it up by making them ask her to pay

DeepRedBetty · 06/02/2013 15:54

Yanbu, talk to a teacher about how you can't afford new trousers right now and ask if they have any ideas about how they can be replaced, bearing in mind they've been deliberately damaged, not just the usual wear and tear from normal school/playground activity.

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 15:58

I know I sound like a grumpy cow but its just another block of financial stress at the moment. It will be grand though.

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911AreBack · 06/02/2013 16:00

The school should be able to provide you for a pair for free, or for a couple of pounds, from lost property. It's not fair that you should bear the cost for something like this

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:08

I'm in Ireland 911. The trousers cost ?33. School donates unclaimed lost property to the local charity shop.I just rang them and they only have small sizes.

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/02/2013 16:18

I agree with the suggestion to speak to the school. This happened on their watch and they should help you out in my view.

ChunkyPickle · 06/02/2013 16:20

Can you not just patch them - you could even use patches from a smaller charity shop pair if you really wanted to be perfect.

I know that my siblings and plenty of other kids had patched knees by the end of term - it wouldn't have occurred to our mums to buy brand new trousers.

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:23

Yes I suppose I could patch them. The rip is jagged and thready so I can't join the sides of it.

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DeepRedBetty · 06/02/2013 16:24

Sorry ancient keyboard doesn't do euro symbol... Shock at 33 for a pair of primary trousers! That's about £25 isn't it?

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:25

Chunky it wouldn't be so bad if they were end of term but they were only bought a couple of weeks ago. Charity shop ones are ?12.

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ll31 · 06/02/2013 16:27

Would patch them, wouldnlt ask mother.. while boy may have form for this , it may still have been accidentally.. 33 seems v v expensive tbh. -and I'm in ireland too- how come they're so dear??

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:28

Yes,its about that Deep
Its extortionate the prices they charge. There were discussions of changing them to navy blue before summer break,but that never happened.

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Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:32

The local sports shop is the only stockist of this particular colour ll.
They started doing the iron on patches for the jumpers which were ?7 compared to the crested jumper which was ?38 for senior school size.

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MajorB · 06/02/2013 16:32

If this had happened to my child and their school trousers cost £33 (WTF?!) then I'd certainly ask the other parent to pay.

"Hi, I assume you have heard about your DS hurting my DD and ruining her trousers? She's a size x, and the school have said they're ok with her wearing trakkie bottoms until the end of the week so if you could have a new pair to me by then that would be great. I assume your DS will be spending his pocket money on them/doing chores to earn the money for them so he learns that unacceptable behaviour has consequences?"

Should cover it nicely, but then I may be in a bit of a stroppy mood today!

Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:33

It wasn't accidental,the yard duty teacher saw it.

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Original poster
BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/02/2013 16:34

Major that's exactly how I would word it.

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