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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be worried about the knife drawer

19 replies

bananananacoconuts · 05/02/2013 20:02

ds (6) is having problems atm with behaviour possible adhd/aspergers and to cut a long story short, he is having monster tantrums where he turns into a screaming, spitting, kicking,scratching awful "thing!" he seems to go under a spell that i cannot break (for up to 2 1/2 hours!) and he dishes out plenty of abuse as in he hates me, he wants me to die etc. i can cope with those and i can even cope with him wanting to get a gun and shoot me (he obviously has no access) but it totally freaks me out when he says he's going to get a knife and kill me! do i just ignore this as an outburst or should i seriously worry?!

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 05/02/2013 20:08

I'd be more concerned about him hurting himself. I'd make sure the sharp knives are somewhere he cannot get to them if only for your peace of mind - if he were younger I'd suggest a drawer lock but that's not going to thwart him at 6.

Atavistic · 05/02/2013 20:10

Are you getting help- are others aware of the situation? Do you have a partner? I doubt that your 6Yo could do you harm, but what a stressful and worrying situation to be in. Is he actively angry for the 2- 2 1/2 hour spell you describe?

I don't have advice, but I'm sure someone will come along. If you are sincerely worried about bodily harm, yes, move them.

Uppatreecuppatea · 05/02/2013 20:10

I think it would be nothing short of cautious to prevent him having access to knives or any other weapon.

Poor you. Must be such an awful situation.

My nephew exhibits symptoms such as your DS. He was recently playing with a toy hammer and following his dad around while his father hammered a few nails in the wall. He sort of disappeared for 10 minutes (6 years old) and then returned calmly and announced to his mother that he had "fixed" Felix, their hamster. Turns out he'd killed his hamster by hammering it on the head with his toy hammer.

His mother (my sister) is obviously worried as this is not normal behaviour. He showed absolutely no remorse for his actions.

I don't mean to worry you. It's just that children with this sort of lack of control of their impulses should be guarded against themselves.

Good luck - and do what you have to to prevent him from finding ways to act on his impulsive behaviour.

FelicityWasCold · 05/02/2013 20:13

I wouldn't necessarily worry about him when he was calm, but yes I'd be concerned that he might do you/himself/others harm when he is temporarily disturbed.

Therefore, if I were you? I'd have them in a secure, properly locked cupboard, along with medicines and things like bleach. At least for the moment.

MrsHoarder · 05/02/2013 20:14

Knives in a box in a high cupboard?

Best of luck with coping with this.

AgentZigzag · 05/02/2013 20:14

Agree with all the advice to get to the root of the problem, but for a short term solution just get a toddler catch fitted to the drawer? (although I'm sure he'll just go onto something else, but it'll give you a very small measure of control)

HollyBerryBush · 05/02/2013 20:17

I would remove knives and scissors

personal experience

Original poster
bananananacoconuts · 05/02/2013 20:23

thanks for all your replies. he is actively angry for the whole length of the tantrum. today in the car (he was in the passenger seat-never again!) he did all of the hitting kicking etc. but also tried to take the car out of gear, pull up the handbrake and unplugged my seat belt numerous times! the knives are actually in a block near the kitchen window so he cant access them easily but i still think for now they need to be moved. filled in a caf form with the school nurse today as have previously been to gp and he was "bob useless" but i'm unsure whether to go again, even though i feel slightly foolish complaining about death threats from a six year old. in all seriousness he does scare me at times especially how strong he must be to keep up the anger for so long! he also has no recollection of the event afterwards and will only say it was my fault.
sad for a little tiny boy reallySad
good luck to all in a similar situation

OP posts:
nefertarii · 05/02/2013 20:23

Short term you need to remove them/ hide and secure knives, scissors etc.

Long term do you have any support?

Original poster
bananananacoconuts · 05/02/2013 20:24

oh dear holly... without wanting to pry was it with a child of similar age or older?

OP posts:
Original poster
bananananacoconuts · 05/02/2013 20:27

no support i'm afraid. exh moves abroad soon and my dmother is in her 70's so does not have the dc very often, when she does it's sit down eat your dinner and then watch tv. he usually saves his behaviour for me but once he was wild infront of dmother and she made him sit in a chair for 2 hours while she watched him!!

OP posts:
Scootee · 05/02/2013 21:23

I would get a lock that operates with a key, rather than a toddler style one which he will easily master. Not worth the risk imo. That or get your kitchen door a lock with a key.

Lyrasilvertongued · 05/02/2013 21:58

Absolutely, lock them away. This means when he has an outburst you can respond calmly knowing he won't have access. The more 'tantrum proof' the environment is the more calm you can remain when he does display this behaviour. This can help to diffuse te situation more quickly - lack of response = waste of energy. Make sure you reinforce this with high energy responses to positive behaviour. As with all behaviour though, it helps to consider the 'why' if you want to change it.

SquinkiesRule · 05/02/2013 23:46

We have these locks they work great.
www.amazon.co.uk/Safety-1st-Magnetic-Deluxe-Starter/dp/B0000488W2
We were foster parents for years and these were approved to lock up cleaning supplies (in USA0.
Dh put onE on a heavy drawer as Dd used to pull it out and I was afraid she'd tip the TV cabinet doing it.
We had to have knives locked up and used one in the kitchen, now I have all sharp stuff in a plastic box inside a drawer it makes it harder to get at for the kids, no grabbing impulsively.

cory · 06/02/2013 12:36

The GP shouldn't try to do anything himself, it is way beyond their level of competence, but he should give you a referral to a specialist.

You may get more out of him if you walk in with a list of the most worrying/dangerous behaviours and ask for your ds to be referred to CAHMS/a child psychiatrist.

AmberLeaf · 06/02/2013 12:41

Yes lock them up.

I have done this too as I have a 10 yr old son with ASD.

I follow the mindset of keeping him safe from such things the same way you would for a toddler.

Good luck with it all.

MrsKeithRichards · 06/02/2013 12:44

Can you self referr to these services? Might be worth phoning them up to check, I know here you can. What about school, are they on board?

cory · 06/02/2013 12:47

Even if you can't self refer, you might well get the school to do it. When dd started self harming the school counsellor got straight in touch with CAHMS and we got an appointment much quicker because a professional was able to confirm that she was at risk.

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