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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sell dds birthday present...

18 replies

PignutSalamander · 03/02/2013 13:42

So me and exp split up a couple of months ago.
Things are not great between us and we are using family mediation and contact centre.

For Xmas he got her nothing.
For her birthday he sent 2 boxes of baby wipes. Yes 24 packs of pampers wipes.

I don't want to use them. I don't want to think about him several times a day when I'm changing her bum.

So wibu to sell them and buy her something she will actually get pleasure out of / put it in her trust fund ?

(And Aibu to be so bloody upset on her behalf!)

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 03/02/2013 13:44

I presume she's too young to have a clue, so yes, sell them if you can make some money out of them and get her something nice - but then will you see that as a reminder of him everytime you see it? perhaps the trust fund deposit would be better.

catgirl1976 · 03/02/2013 13:45

Christ no YABU

If you don't need the money donate them

Otherwise sell them and get her something nice

I'd be tempted to use them and then post them back to your ex

Veritate · 03/02/2013 13:47

Oh, I don't know, won't there be a degree of satisfaction in thinking about the fact that you are using his present to wipe up shit? And you won't get any real money out of selling them, will you?

GlitterySkulls · 03/02/2013 13:48

i'd just use them, wipes are extortionate. maybe you could put aside the money you'd usually spend on wipes & buy her something with that?

although i'm at him buying 24 packs of wipes as a birthday present, what's that all about? i'd be pissed off with that too.

Adamit · 03/02/2013 13:49

do you not use wipes?

if you actually dont use them fair enough. but if you do use wipes but dont want to think of dp everytime you change her then i think your being ridiculous.

Original poster

PignutSalamander · 03/02/2013 13:49

This is first birthday so no she doesn't have a clue fortunately

OP posts:

GoingVerySlowlyMad · 03/02/2013 13:51

I like catgirls suggestion!

frustratedworkingmum · 03/02/2013 13:52

YANBU to be selling te presents and YADNBU to be rid of the twunt!!!

HeadfirstForHalos · 03/02/2013 13:55

Just "buy" them off him yourself. You would have to buy wipes anyway so for every pack you use put a £1 or so in a jar, then when they are all used up you can get her a proper present :)

Original poster

PignutSalamander · 03/02/2013 13:59

Cat girl. Brilliant! Just brilliant.
I can't believe how upset I am about. Poor kid, I mean is so difficult to pick up something suitable for a 1 year old. Instead of money (which he has never given me) fair enough but a first birthday present. Aargh!

OP posts:

HeadfirstForHalos · 05/02/2013 00:50

I'd be upset too, there's nothing odd or about it. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money to put thought into something. x

Jenda · 05/02/2013 00:56

They're on offer in Asda at the moment! arse. I agree, put the money aside that you would have spent on wipes and get her something lovely in a few months time

IneedAsockamnesty · 05/02/2013 01:39

That has got to be the weirdest birthday present I have ever heard of almost as bad as the loo roll and dishwasher tabs I got my friend but in my defence that's what she asked for, I'm guessing you didn't ask for these?

Normally I would say don't be a cow there not yours to dispose of but given that its a gift that's actually intended to be used by you ( I'm guessing your dd is not super baby with regards to her bum wiping abilities) then its fair game.

But if your assigning some type of sentimentality to arse wiping equipment then you may be rather more up set about the break up than your letting on.

Original poster

PignutSalamander · 05/02/2013 23:52

Pixie. I see why you may think that, it is unsurprisingly more complex than that. The last time I saw him he smashed my window, since then he has been texting my mother at all hours informing her that I am psychotic. There has been a whole festivals worth of portaloo juice between us.
It's less sentimentality and more not wanting to feel his continued influence on my day to day activities. Maybe I am being ott by getting them out of my house.
Maybe I should just get over it. I've still got 3 packets of my usual wipes, plus I often use reusables so I guess a can defer decision making a while.

OP posts:

Pandemoniaa · 06/02/2013 00:24

He sounds like an arsewipe himself. So there's be a certain amount of poetic justice in using his "present" to, er, wipe arses!

OutragedFromLeeds · 06/02/2013 00:32

Under normal circumstances I would say wipes are fine and no Christmas present also fine when they're too little to have any idea what Christmas is.

However, it sounds like he did it just to be awkward so YANBU to do whatever you want with the wipes.

I like catgirl's idea.

Thumbwitch · 06/02/2013 06:37

"there has been a whole festival of portaloo juice between us"

This made me - not because of all the shit you've had to put up with, just an excellent turn of phrase.

I understand your feelings, I do - when my ex-fiancé gave me JL vouchers for my birthday after he'd fecked off with someone else but I was still living in our house (not sure why he bothered, tbh) I couldn't bring myself to spend them. Not even on food (usable in Waitrose as well) which was a bit daft - but just couldn't do it. I left them behind when I moved out.

Original poster

PignutSalamander · 06/02/2013 08:10

Thumbwitch. That is bizarre, why would he still give them to you. It's gift vouchers after all he could have given them to his mum or kept them.
I wouldn't have spent them either. I just wouldn't have wanted to give him the space in my life but I guess some people are better at segregating these things in their mind

OP posts:

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