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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting baby in cot

36 replies

melonribena · 01/02/2013 21:54

I know that I can't co sleep forever and as everyone tells me, now that ds is 6 months old I should be getting him to self settle in his cot so I can get my evenings and nights back and dp can move out of the spare room!

I am trying, I really am!

But, AIBU to kinda hope the self settling in cot doesn't work too fast because I'm loving my gorgeous baby snuggling up during the night?!

OP posts:

Xmasbaby11 · 01/02/2013 21:56

No, 6 months is long enough. Time to move the baby on. Own cot, own room.

mrsbunnylove · 01/02/2013 21:58

he's far too young to be on his own.

Original poster

melonribena · 01/02/2013 21:58

I know! I need a kick up the bum!

OP posts:

NumericalMum · 01/02/2013 21:59

If you are all happy and getting sleep why change?

Ionasky · 01/02/2013 22:01

Well, it's individual but dd went in her own room at 6 mos but when she woke in the night a 1/4am would be put into the bed and we'd wake up together. Might be a way to have the best of both? Dd is 2 yrs now, I miss those days!

AliceWChild · 01/02/2013 22:02

If you like it why change? Trust your instincts. I don't get you his weird must separate child from mother thing. If it feels right, sure. If it doesn't, don't do it. Mine has been snuggled up on me all eve. Love it.

skullcandy · 01/02/2013 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BridgetBidet · 01/02/2013 22:05

I'm moving my baby into his own room tomorrow and he is 10 1/2 months. Didn't feel like the right time, does now as he is getting disturbed by us coming in and out. It's your baby, you probably know best, if you feel like he should be in with you a bit longer then he probably should.

It is going to be hard and heartbreaking when he moves tomorrow though.

Original poster

melonribena · 01/02/2013 22:07

That's an interesting idea Iona. I'd get evenings to do stuff and some sleep alone first. I never thought I'd be into co sleeping but apart from the bad back from feeding lying down its been great! I get loads of sleep and never have to get up to the baby!

It's mainly pressure from mum and mil to be honest saying I'm creating a rod for my own back

OP posts:

Iggly · 01/02/2013 22:08

No, 6 months is long enough. Time to move the baby on. Own cot, own room

6 months in the grand scheme isn't much.

I coslept with dd until 9/10 months. She started to get disturbed by me so felt right to move her.

poppycat04 · 01/02/2013 22:09

You should do what you and your DH andyour baby want, ignore everyone else. Currently my DS3 is 20 months, he goes to bed in his cot bed and always wakes up with us, and its lovely ...

Bottleoffish · 01/02/2013 22:12

You aren't creating a rod for your own back at all. If you are happy to cosleep then continue to do so.

Anecdotal evidence only, but my DD co-slept on and off until about 14 months, then slept in her own cot, still in our room, then she slept in our bed while on holiday for two weeks and upon our return went right back into her own cot and now at 19 months sleeps in her own cot almost all the time (sometimes cosleep if she's a bit off colour and wakeful). No rod there...

Bottleoffish · 01/02/2013 22:12

This might help OP

www.isisonline.org.uk/where_babies_sleep/

RattyRoland · 01/02/2013 22:15

I co sleep with 13 mo. It's lovely, why change it?

TooMuchRain · 01/02/2013 22:16

Surely it's only a 'rod' anyway if you and/or your DH aren't happy with it carrying on for a while?

Weightlessbaby · 01/02/2013 22:18

Well DD went into her cot at 3mo (yes, I know...) But practically she'd outgrown her moses basket, there was no room for anything bigger in our room (plus we live in a 2 up 2 down so she was barely further away anyway) and was sleeping 7-4ish by then anyway; this changed to 12 hours when she went into her own room.

Much to my disappointment, she's never really wanted to co-sleep though! She loves her own bed and sees being in with us as fun time, squirming around and generally enjoying herself and most definitely not sleeping. So as mad as it seems I'm a little bit jealous of you for being able to cuddle up with a sleepy baby!

I'd echo what those above have said and reclaim your evenings by putting him to bed but not worrying if he ends up with you during the night.

larks35 · 01/02/2013 22:19

I love the first 2 responses! How different can you get?

I co-slept with DD for about 5/6 months in guest/her room. She sort of told me to go in the end. When I would join her at night, she got fidgity and then fed a bit but I could tell really that she didn't want me there . We've rigged up a barrier around the bed we used to share and she has slept there happily, alone for the last 5months.

Do what works for you and your family. For me, it was easy as DD was clearly happier alone and DP loved having me back in our bed. There are no rules, you have to make them, just make sure you consider everyone when you do.

Minshu · 01/02/2013 22:19

It's your baby, your bed, your DP. I personally hated co-sleeping and wanted DD snuffling and thrashing around in her own cot much younger, but isn't it great that the world is full of people who like to do things differently?

Spice17 · 01/02/2013 22:20

Of course not, baby snuggles are lush. My DD is 4 months and I'm having the almost opposite problem of trying to get her to go to sleep on her own in our room, before us at about 7.30 - 8.00pm.

Much as I love her, I feel I need time to myself (but still feel horredously guilty for wanting it) so you should do whatever makes you all happy.

I know I coud get flamed for this, but I do feel there is something in giving your DCs their independence early on to make them secure and confident grown ups (being molly coddled my entire childhood really didn't do me a lot of good - especially when I started at Uni) We're all different though but I hope I'm helping DD in the long run.

However, the OP is probably helping DC to feel loved and secure with co sleeping, so what do I know! :)

breatheslowly · 01/02/2013 22:20

Do what ever you and your DH do. We had DD with us until 6 months and she started turning around and kicking me. But even if you do move your DS now, it isn't the end of cuddles. DD comes into bed with us every morning for cuddles. I seem to end up in her bed in the middle of the night quite often too when she wakes up. She comes into our bed when she is poorly. If we stay at my parents' house she sleeps in bed with me. I would actually make sure you do have him with you occassionally so that he doesn't forget how to sleep in your bed for when you need it.

ChristmasJubilee · 01/02/2013 22:22

I didn't co-sleep with any of mine. It's not for me and I wouldn't have enjoyed it, but, you are happy and it is nothing to do with your mother or MIL what you do.

Ionasky · 01/02/2013 22:26

My sil also does the down in cot, then in bed in night thing, don't let family make you feel bad, when they are older you can use reward charts etc to stop the night wakings and they def wont need the milk. Enjoy it, it's a short window although know what you mean about the back ache!

KenLeeeeeee · 01/02/2013 22:28

If you're happy and everyone is getting a good amount of sleep, why change anything?

I'm still cosleeping with ds (8.5 months) while DH sleeps on the airbed on the floor next to our bed, but he doesn't mind a bit and would much rather stick to this arrangement than have us up all night trying to persuade ds to sleep in his cot! Of course I haven't told ANY of this to MIL.

SirBoobAlot · 01/02/2013 22:30

Ignore other people. The whole "rod for your own back" thing is ridiculous. DS slept with me at least half the night, every night till he was 18 months. He quite happily gets into his own bed, and asks when he wants to go to be now, and has done since before he was two.

And there is a loads of evidence that attachment parenting styles - co-sleeping, baby wearing, etc - are are better for their independence in the long term.

So don't stress. Enjoy the cuddles.

HearMyRoar · 01/02/2013 22:43

We bought a bigger bed at 6 months so all 3 of us have plenty of room. Dd rarely snuggles up now (10 months) but just sleeps in her bit of the bed and me and dp can have a cuddle in the rest of the bed.

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