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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my friend was wrong for accusing?

31 replies

SparkFadingSpark · 27/01/2013 22:34

Went for lunch today with 10 friends, only three of us are mums. My friend brought her 8 month old baby with her (youngest child in the group)

We all adore her, anyway the friend sat opposite me was sat down holding the baby and the friend next to her was making silly noises at the her, when suddenly the baby starts crying really loudly.

The mum jumped out of her seat, grabbed the baby and said in a very accusatory way - what did you do to her?!

Friend quite gobsmacked and the mum repeated herself (again in an accusatory way.) Friend replied that she hadn't done anything to her.

It was a rather awkward silence after that. Aibu to think that babies cry, sometimes for no reason at all and that it's no ones fault.

OP posts:
narmada · 27/01/2013 22:35

The friend who jumped up out of the chair sounds bananas.

WorraLiberty · 27/01/2013 22:36

I would have said, "I stabbed her with my fork".

Silly cow

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 27/01/2013 22:40

I think you need to have a word with your crazy friend

wewereherefirst · 27/01/2013 22:43

Why was she so defensive? Even for a PFB that's a bit of an overreaction

StraightTalkinSheila · 27/01/2013 22:44

That is a very strange reaction. It would be worth mentioning to the mother that if she carries on making accusatory outbursts each time her baby cries, then eventually people will no longer want to be friends with her.

Passmethecrisps · 27/01/2013 22:47

Yikes! Actually, something like this happened to me the other day. Best friend holding my baby. 3 separate times baby started to shriek and scream. She did It last time we saw each other as well.

On the most recent time I asked friend what perfume she was wearing.

I did not accuse her of damaging my child.

Babies squeal.

katiecubs · 27/01/2013 22:50

Very very odd.

Original poster
SparkFadingSpark · 27/01/2013 22:50

I think if ever one of my friends was holding my baby and he cried all I would say is - Oh no what happened?

And that would be directed at my DS. not my friend.

I trust my friends not to deliberately hurt my child.

I'm glad others have agreed this was an overreaction.

OP posts:
feellikearubbishmummy · 27/01/2013 22:52

dd1 used to cry if anyone holding her wore perfume. took me a while to work it out though

pictish · 27/01/2013 22:53

Very odd I agree.

Goldmandra · 27/01/2013 22:59

It isn't a reasonable reaction. Is this very out of character?

Is she struggling wit parenthood maybe?

TheDetective · 27/01/2013 22:59

Nutter. Does she even like her friend?!

Babies sometimes let out unexpected cries. Either being held, asleep, talked to, whatever. They just do. There is often a reason. But since they are babies, we don't know. It doesn't mean anyone has done something to them! Hell, I let out a cry when I get an unexpected pain somewhere. I might be talking to someone when it happens. Doesn't mean they fucking stabbed me, or something.

Bloody hell!

TheDetective · 27/01/2013 23:01

Oh, and my baby (9 weeks) let out the most terrified scream this afternoon. What was I doing?

Rolling sellotape around my hand. The noise of the tape petrified him.

Goldmandra · 27/01/2013 23:03

Crikey Detective! Is it really 9 weeks since the 'am I in labour?' thread?

BattlingFanjos · 27/01/2013 23:24

Alarm bells would be sounding for me if this was out of character. Anxiety or pnd feelings perhaps? Your poor friend, I would have been mortified, bright red and stuttering "Nothing...I didn't.....I mean...." Awkward!!!

BattlingFanjos · 27/01/2013 23:26

And just out of sheer curiosity...did the accusing mum sit back down and stay? Confused

ceeveebee · 27/01/2013 23:30

Reminds me of my sister who left me alone in the living room with her DD/my DN (who I think was about 4 months old at the time), DN suddenly started crying and she came running in screaming "what did you do to her??". She was being a PFB nutter and so was your friend

TheDetective · 27/01/2013 23:31

Blush I've been recognised Grin.

Yes, it is... in fact it has been longer! As minidetective was 20 flippin' days late. Lazy git!

McNewPants2013 · 27/01/2013 23:32

I take it the baby didn't like the silly noises :)

it was an overreaction, I hope the mum says sorry when she realises that it was an over reaction

Softlysoftly · 27/01/2013 23:34

Worra Grin

LouMae · 28/01/2013 01:08

I was always the opposite when ds was a baby, if he cried while someone was holding him I'd always worry they-d think they were at fault and would reassure them it was nothing they had done. I wouldn't dream of accusing a friend like that.

SquinkiesRule · 28/01/2013 02:48

Babies cry at the most bizarre things, she was being weird.
I remember making my happily playing gurgling 9 month old cry like he'd been stabbed with a fork when I sneezed, it wasn't even a loud sneeze and I was sitting at the other end of the couch

Illgetmegoat · 28/01/2013 03:13

Your poor friend! I loved it when my friends loved my babies and played/were affectionate with them and would always feel a bit apologetic when whichever child had a moment. One took against the texture of a friend's shirt once, too shiny apparently!

The baby's mother overreacted and I would want to find out why if this was out of character tbh, if it isn't out of character I would be doubly concerned, she'll end up in quite a bad place I think if she behaves like the whole world is out to get her baby. Do you think she'll grow out of it? Is it extreme pfb syndrome?

BambieO · 28/01/2013 07:30

loumae I was the same as you! I didn't want people to think I wouldn't be letting them play/hold DS again if he cried or that I would want him straight back as if it was their fault so I would always comfort him in their arms (where possible unless it was a genuine upset full pelt cry) and insist it wasn't anything they had done.

Massive overreaction from the friend, I would be mortified if someone accused me of doing something to make their child cry PFB or not!

BambieO · 28/01/2013 07:31

Grin at the shiny shirt seems baby has good taste haha