his emails

[Cherriesfortea]

Am I being unreasonable? Looking back in his computer history to find some sites he and I had been viewing together, I once discovered DH has been viewing Escort sites. In his email address book I from time to time see there is the name of a local Escort girl (a saucy address that is obvious to notice in passing). I have not checked his history since or seen whether he has sent/received any emails from this Escort; could be that their correspondence was years ago. It has been four months, and I have been trusting that, as he said, he was only window shopping. Should I continue trusting him? If I pry into his emails, I deserve to lose his trust. But if he is lying to me I would rather know. I don't want to spend my life with a man who is betraying me.

Are you nuts? If the sites are still in his history he's been looking at them recently.

You are putting your health at risk and potentially being cheated on, of course you should check if this is still going on.

Incidentally I would dump any man who I discovered had EVER used escorts even if it was some time ago as it shows a terrible attitude towards women.

Can you define 'window shopping' because to me that means seeing if anything you fancy is available? Maybe that's me misinterpreting but it all sounds a bit odd to me.

If you do trust him, completely, why do you need to check his emails? Because if you have a niggling feeling that there's something you don't know then I'm not sure that equates to trusting him.

It sounds like a horrible situation and I really feel for you. I'm sure there'll be someone along with better suggestions in a minute.

"he was only window shopping"

for escorts?

Have a look, if you find nothing, forget about it.

If he was 'window shopping' I'd make sure he didn't make an 'impulse purchase'. Surely he could look at porn if he wanted titilation?

He doesn't deserve your trust if he has exchanged emails with prostitutes. Pry as much as you can. Even looking at the sites would be in LTB territory for me.

I think any man who is "window shopping" to the extent of finding, and possibly contacting, local escorts should not expect to be trusted. That in itself is enough to cause you to doubt him. That is not paranoia, it is being sensible.

Check his emails and his history - if there has been nothing for 4 months then you could be cautiously optimistic. But I suspect there will be further activity, because it is not a usual level for a man to go to, when he is in a committed relationship. Porn is commonplace. Contacting, or planning to contact, escorts is not.

My stbxh went "window shopping" on some extra marital affair dating sites.

That gave him the confidence and the desire to go seeking in the real world.

He didn't meet anyone from the site, but he did have an affair.

I'd be very wary. I wouldn't look unless I was thinking of buying, or at least wanted to.

"Window shopping" is not a charming way to describe other human beings. Does he generally treat people as things?

I'd be a lot more trusting if he'd just said he wanted to look at porn. I'd not trust anyone who used the words 'window shopping' as any sort of justification for emailing escorts.

The problem with "window shopping" is it's frequently something people do to help decide which article to buy.

As has already been said, if it's in the search history it's fairly recent, and communicating via e mail is so much more than "window shopping" that's finding out the price having made your decision.

I would forward those e mails to a new account, set up for the purpose, before he deletes them and then find a good solicitor.

Why would you want to stay with a pervy misogynistic slime ball like that?????