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AIBU?

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Original poster

Childminder going on maternity leave.........

67 replies

CJMommy · 21/01/2013 22:23

Looking for some advice and thoughts. (Go easy......never posted on AIBU before! Grin)

My childminder is pregnant (already has a 2y/o DD) and plans to work up until 5 days before her due date. She has my one DC for wraparound 5 days and the other from 8am-6pm 5 days also.

I have asked her if she would like me to do more school runs for her closer to her due date (this would be possible in the short term) but she says she needs the money and is planning to work as long as possible. I love my CM and have offered to be has flexible as I can be in order to support her work as long as she can. However, I am concerned that she is going to be knackered, her first DD delivered 3 weeks early and i don't have enough holiday (or understanding employer) to suddenly go off work if she decides at 36/7/8 weeks that she is unable to continue work.

I realise that this a risk at any time but would I be being unreasonable to plan alternate childcare from at least two, if not four weeks before she is due? I don't want to 'deprive' her of her income but in the same way, I cannot afford to be left without childcare.

There is very little option with cover and nursery appears to be the only option but they want definite dates and deposits; if I leave it much longer the spaces may have gone.

What would you do?

OP posts:
pingu2209 · 21/01/2013 22:25

you have to do what is right for your children and your family day to day working.

WipsGlitter · 21/01/2013 22:27

What's going to happen once she has the baby?

Fakebook · 21/01/2013 22:29

Find another CM and start crossing over to her gradually around 10-12 weeks before your current CM's due date. Your paying for a service. Why would you "offer to do more school runs?" It's her job description. It's her job. If she can't do it 5£3' find someone else.

HollyBerryBush · 21/01/2013 22:29

If you want to continue working, change childminder.

Fakebook · 21/01/2013 22:30

Your=You're and 5£3' = then

NatashaBee · 21/01/2013 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CJMommy · 21/01/2013 22:36

Wips She says she is going to have 8 weeks off then return 4 days so I will need to find cover for one day anyway on her return.

Fakebook She's really good, flexible and the kids enjoy being there. I hoped by offering that she would perhaps take me up on the offer or perhaps realise the enormity of what she was proposing.

Everything could be fine but I remember being pregnant with a toddler; pregnancy was healthy and I worked full time but was knackered and glad to finish work at 36 weeks. I couldn't imagine what it would be like with several other kids around!!

OP posts:
Original poster
CJMommy · 21/01/2013 22:39

Natasha She has a CM friend who could accommodate my kids and has some flexibility if my CM needs to finish early. However, says she does not want to commit at the moment in case her regular mindees needs change and then she couldn't accommodate their needs. She says she can give me a definite in a few months but I don't feel I can wait that long with the uncertainty.

OP posts:
FeckOffCup · 21/01/2013 22:40

I would give her notice and find someone else if she isn't going to be providing enough cover for you after her maternity leave anyway.

Original poster
CJMommy · 21/01/2013 22:41

I'm looking for cover for half her mat leave and the rest will be in the summer holidays which I can just cover between me and DH taking leave and grandparents.

OP posts:
Original poster
CJMommy · 21/01/2013 22:44

Feckoff Really?? I have always used a nursery before now so am unsure what I should be doing! When we 'hired' her, she did say that she would be hoping to have another child at some point in the future but did say that she would probably have an assistant to help her out.

I also live in quite a small town which i have not long moved too so don't want to upset anyone; they move in small circles around here!!

OP posts:
FeckOffCup · 21/01/2013 22:54

Yeah I would look for an alternative in your position, I understand where you're coming from about not wanting to upset anyone but it doesn't sound like it is going to be convenient for you anyway having to look for one day's cover elsewhere when she only goes back 4 days so that would be a good reason to give for terminating your contract and hopefully parting on good terms.

marfisa · 21/01/2013 22:58

If her first DD arrived 3 weeks early, there is every chance that her second will arrive then as well. Definitely look for alternative cover. Be nice about it, but if she doesn't understand why you need an alternative, then she is being unreasonable.

SquinkiesRule · 22/01/2013 00:51

If the first came at 37 weeks I'd make some contingency plans for care, or you may well be stuck.
Mine never make it to 40 weeks and I was healthy and not chasing a load of kids about I was at home and could rest as necessary.
Does she have someone who is taking over for her while she's off or are all the parents on their own looking for someone?

Boomerwang · 22/01/2013 00:56

No matter how much you love her, consider your own family needs first. If she's as good as you say she is then she'll be smart enough to realise that things will change when she has a baby. She'll receive maternity pay if she's done her forms properly.

HopAndSkip · 22/01/2013 01:32

Can you find the childminder you want to use after, and ask her if she'd be able to have a flexible starting date so you don't have to let down your last childminder by taking her wage just before she's due. If you can find a kind childminder, this should make her think you're a nice person to work for ideally and hopefully she won't mind Smile

I would be careful "overworking" her whether she wants to or not. I worked 7 days a week in childcare from month 3 onwards of the pregnancy due to money worries, and ended up having DD 9 weeks premature. I don't know what the cause was, but I'm not sure working so much helped, especially being childcare which is so active.

Tanith · 22/01/2013 12:29

What on earth?!!

I'm a childminder and took exactly two weeks off when DD was born; I'm not the only one by any means. I personally know of no childminder who had to let down her clients due to pregnancy, but plenty who have coped.

Why should the OP give notice, for heaven's sake? I bet you'd all be up in arms if you lost your jobs due to pregnancy! Some of these comments are exactly the thinking that many companies use to justify edging out new mothers - and here are, presumably, mothers, women, using the same tired excuses.

LemonBreeland · 22/01/2013 12:45

OP if you need to make arrangements for when she is on ML, then I would make them from around 36 weeks at the latest. You don't want to end up with no childcare in place.

flowery · 22/01/2013 12:52

If you need childcare 5 days a week and she will be not only taking 8 weeks off but also not available to provide the cover you need when she does return, then look for alternative childcare.

fromparistoberlin · 22/01/2013 13:32

arrange childcare for 1-2 weeks before she says

if needs be say things shit at work and cant risk it given that her DD was early

Idocrazythings · 22/01/2013 13:43

I know when you work in a hospital (in australia) you are only allowed to work to 36 weeks. Then you need a medical certificate if you continue- maybe you should make some back up plans from 36/40 then reassess with her then. What would happen to pregnant employees in an office situation? Maybe that's how you need to think of it? It's nice you're both thinking of each other but you also need to plan for your family.

IneedAsockamnesty · 22/01/2013 13:47

She has the right excluding any pregnancy related illness that prevents her doing her job to state when she wishes to start ML and that can be on her due date if that is what she wants.

If you chose to obtain additional childcare despite her wish to continue working then you should still pay her in full as she is willing and able to work.

If I told my employees they could not work because I felt they might not be able to due to pregnancy I would get lynched

IneedAsockamnesty · 22/01/2013 13:49

Obviously after her ML is a different kettle of fish as she is unable to provide the service you require.

ZooAnimals · 22/01/2013 13:49

It's a tricky one because I do agree with tanith.

However, there is a chance that her baby will come early and the OP will be left without childcare, so I think it's reasonable to sort alternative childcare from 36/7 weeks maybe.

If you need 5 days and the childminder is only going to work 4 days now, then I think it's reasonable to give notice because she has changed her terms.

flowery · 22/01/2013 13:50

Sockreturningpixie the OP doesn't employ her, she's a childminder, not a nanny. She's providing a service and provided the OP complies with whatever terms and conditions are in place with regards to notice, she is entitled to take her business elsewhere at any point.