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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my DH being unreasonable?

24 replies

kitsilano · 17/01/2013 09:23

My DH came home last night fuming. He had arranged to meet 2 old friends for dinner at a pub on the way home from work. 1 friend was dithering about whether he would be able to make it, and said he would need to leave at 9, so they eventually settled on a location that would be most convenient for him. (As they often do).

The first 2 friends met at 7, my DH said he would be there at 730. He didn't actually get there until 8.10. The other 2 texted him to say was it ok if they ordered their food. My DH apparently said "No."

But when he arrived they were finishing their meal.

He was furious, especially so as the friend who said they needed to leave at 9 didn't actually leave until 10.

He told them how annoyed he was, didn't really relax and said he wasn't able to get over it. It sounds liked he sulked for the evening basically.

I think he might be over-reacting. But he didn't appreciate being told this this morning!

What do you think?

OP posts:
RubyGates · 17/01/2013 09:26

I think if you're hungry at 7.30, then you're hungry at 7.30.

Very rude if your husband to turn up so late.
HBU

AngryTrees · 17/01/2013 09:28

Your husband is being unreasonable I'm afraid. I bet they were starving after work and he was late! if I was waiting for someone who wasn't on time for a pub meal I'd probably order as well. Waiting around for him doesn't sound like much fun, especially since he ended up coming an hour and ten minutes after they first showed up.

Sulking the whole evening is childish.

Rindercella · 17/01/2013 09:29

Your DH is BU. he was very late, his friend needed to leave by 9pm. the friend probably only stayed longer so that he could actually have some time with your DH. I think your DH was actually quite out of order and the pissed offness is the wrong way round - if I was his friends, I would be pissed off!

wigglesrock · 17/01/2013 09:29

Why couldn't they order they food? He was meeting them over an hour later. God if I wasn't starting to order until after 8.10pm and hadn't had anything to eat in preparation for a pub dinner Grin I'd be eating the menu.

Maybe the other friend was having such a good time he wanted to stay. It all sounds a bit dramaish. I'm with you - slight Shock overeaction but I can have sulkers/huffers I'm much more of a rower.

squeakytoy · 17/01/2013 09:30

your husband sounds sulky and childish.. he is the one being unreasonable..

wigglesrock · 17/01/2013 09:30

can't have obviously Grin

TidyDancer · 17/01/2013 09:31

I'm not sure what the classic etiquette would be fr that situation, but the fact is on the night, your DH was the one who held them up. If he was being polite, he should've got a message to them to say "go ahead and eat, I'm going to be very late".

Do you know exactly what was said when he replied with no? Or was it just the one word answer? If so I'm not surprised they went ahead because that was really quite rude. Tbh they were probably simply asking out of courtesy and had already ordered their meals at the point they contacted him.

Honestly, your DH sounds like an overgrown child. And he is being unreasonable.

TidyDancer · 17/01/2013 09:32

fr for

DeckSwabber · 17/01/2013 09:37

I think dinner in a pub is quite casual - it's ok to order meals separately.

I would be bit annoyed if someone set the agenda saying they had to leave early and then didn't leave early!

lottiegarbanzo · 17/01/2013 09:37

Why on earth would he try to stop them eating as planned? He could still eat and chat when he got there. V weird.

lottiegarbanzo · 17/01/2013 09:40

Or, as I've done before, he could have asked them to order for him, to arrive when he'd be there.

Original poster
kitsilano · 17/01/2013 10:13

Thanks for input. Not sure he will appreciate the message though!

OP posts:
Catsdontcare · 17/01/2013 10:15

He's being a baby

NoelHeadbands · 17/01/2013 10:16

He sounds like a right arse, no offence.

CinnabarRed · 17/01/2013 10:17

Can't get over him saying no to their perfectly polite request to order!

Hullygully · 17/01/2013 10:20

Bit mad.

Can't imagine saying "no, you can't eat wait for me I'm late" to my friends!

HeadfirstForHalos · 17/01/2013 10:21

Them eating without him was no ruder than him being late.

Catsdontcare · 17/01/2013 10:33

Can't abide suckers either. Tell him it's a right turn off. Turned up late then created a bad atmosphere for the evening. Wally.

Catsdontcare · 17/01/2013 10:33

Sulkers not suckers!

Original poster
kitsilano · 17/01/2013 10:34

Out of interest - do you think anyone ever shows the subjects of these types of threads the responses and get a good result?

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 17/01/2013 10:46

Depends what you're trying to achieve! Is he curious, does he have the slightest doubt, or are you trying to prove something? Why? How do you think he will respond and how will you react to that? Jut a few things to consider!

Numberlock · 17/01/2013 10:53

I think your husband should be grateful that his life is obviously going so well so that something so irrelevant causes him to 'fume'.

How does he cope with actual problems?

Cherriesarelovely · 17/01/2013 10:58

40 mins late (when friends have been there since 7) is very late. Why on earth would your DH want them to sit there hungry when he knew he was already late. He is BU, I can't see what his friends did wrong.

JohnBender88 · 17/01/2013 11:03

Does your husband usually expect evenings out etc to revolve round him? Like you've told him, he was being very unreasonable!

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