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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take reception DS1 out of school?

29 replies

JoandMax · 14/01/2013 16:21

DS1, 4.6 is in reception and very happy. Settled really well and learning lots, always runs in smiling. I had worried as he's a July baby and quite 'young' but so far so good.

DHs job is relocating to Dubai and he starts 1st Feb. we had planned for me and DCs to move in the Easter holidays however we are struggling to find a school place for DS1. DS2 is only 2.9 and although he likes his couple of mornings at nursery it's obviously not as important as a school place.

We have a dilemma which we need to make a decision on quite quickly for practical reasons (shipping furniture, renting our house out etc).

Do we just go at Easter even if we have no school place? Or do I stay here til summer with the DCs? In an ideal world a place will come up but if not.....

DH isn't going to be able to come home much, if at all, so what will affect DS1 more?? Not seeing Daddy or missing a term of school??

I can do reading/writing with him but my worry is the social and emotional development side, especially with him being one of the young ones, he's changed so much being in a school environment.

What would you do???

OP posts:
ChocolateTeacup · 14/01/2013 16:25

Keep him out, read up on Home Education and get out and about to places with other children :)

CwtchesAndCuddles · 14/01/2013 16:25

I would go at Easter then you all have a chance to settle in before it gets too hot. Moving out in the summer you will have the heat to content with along with everything else.

Taking him out of school for a term isn't going to do much harm at that age and it will give you some breathing space to arrange a school place for September.

Original poster
JoandMax · 14/01/2013 16:29

Thank you! I spoke to my mum and sister at the weekend and they looked horrified at us even considering it.

OP posts:
Original poster
JoandMax · 14/01/2013 16:48

Anyone else have any opinions?

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 14/01/2013 16:56

I don't think being out of school for a term at that age will make any difference at all. Sounds like a great experience for him. He's going to be in school for a lot of years. A couple of terms at this age will make no difference. You can do stuff at home with him anyway to keep him up.

Itsaboatjack · 14/01/2013 16:56

I'd defiantly go at Easter. I think I'm right in saying that some Scandinavian countries don't even start school till 6/7?

Also I assume there will be a large ex-pat community where you will be? If so I'm sure it won't take you long to find groups for him to go to until you get a school place sorted.

farewellfarewell · 14/01/2013 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 14/01/2013 17:11

Go at easter with dh, then you will have time to acclimatuse and settle in etc. A term at this age is nothing, you can do stuff at home and it will be much better for you to be together as a family rather than be separated like that.

exexpat · 14/01/2013 17:11

I would expect a lot of the international schools in Dubai follow the US system, which starts the kindergarten year of elementary school (equivalent of reception) at age 5, so he wouldn't even be in proper school yet. Taking him out of reception really shouldn't be a problem.

I'd go with your DH so you can all settle in together, and it will be easier to look for a school place when you are there - in an expat community, there are always people being relocated at short notice, and if you are on the ground you are better placed to grab a place when it comes up. Also, have you tried looking for a preschool place, as they may cater for up to age 5 or 6?

We were living in Tokyo until DS was 8, and I chose not to send him to the British School there at the age of 4, but instead kept him in his Japanese preschool (mostly free play, nothing academic) until he could start at a bilingual international school, running a modified US curriculum, at age 5. We moved back to the UK when he was 8, and he went straight into his proper year group here with no problems, despite having had a year less school than everyone else.

desertgirl · 14/01/2013 17:12

am sure you will be fine (actually I am sure you could find a place for the term, though it may not be in one of the more popular schools) - will give you the chance to find your feet before summer when lots of the non-working mums disappear anyway

[waves from Dubai]

desertgirl · 14/01/2013 17:15

By the way, if you go IB curriculum, your July boy won't be one of the youngest any more (and the IB curriculum is great anyway!) - as the mother of a rather 'young' July boy I am delighted that he's in the middle of the class agewise instead of being one of the class babies.

Original poster
JoandMax · 14/01/2013 17:20

What's IB desertgirl? So far we're only looked and applied for UK cirriculum schools. We've also only looked south really as my in laws live in that area but I'm sure if we widened out area it's be easier. Although for long term lifestyle I think I'd rather wait a bit to get a place that suits more

OP posts:
MistyB · 14/01/2013 17:21

We did something similar and DS who was year 2 at the time was fine! We had an excellent summer!!

Take care though, does your position on the school waiting list change if you are already in Dubai versus applying from overseas. Ask on the overseas board but I seem to remember something from a discussion with a relocating friend. Also, are you allowed to homeschool in Dubai?

And, it might be worth turning up at your chosen school after Easter and see who has not turned up or paid their fees for the following year.

EnjoyResponsibly · 14/01/2013 17:25

I'd pull him out and HE on phonics etc.

My DH travels a lot for work. You can see a change in the DC behaviour at home and school if the trip exceeds a few days. A whole term might mean your DS reacts badly to his daddy not being around in his daily routine.

exexpat · 14/01/2013 17:27

IB is international baccalaureate. In the UK you mainly hear of it just as a broader alternative to A-levels, but there is also a well-thought-of primary and secondary curriculum.

desertgirl · 14/01/2013 17:27

international bacclaureate - schools like these: www.dubaiexpat.com/schools/ib-other/

Have you investigated expatwoman yet? someone will know what schools might have spaces: www.expatwoman.com/forum/topics.aspx?ForumID=23

exexpat · 14/01/2013 17:28

IB primary curriculum

Original poster
JoandMax · 14/01/2013 17:32

Thanks desertgirl and exexpat, that's really helpful.

MistyB - have posted on overseas, thanks for thinking of that!

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FestiveWench · 14/01/2013 17:37

I only started school age 6.
Moved to the UK at age 10 and was not behind at all.

Squiffie · 14/01/2013 17:40

I'd go with dh. Your 4yr old isn't legally required to be in school in the UK yet - they are required to attend in the term they turn 5 I believe (possibly the term after). The benefits of moving (keeping family together, experience of other cultures, adventure) far outweigh what is taught in an F2 classroom!

desertgirl · 14/01/2013 18:02

he isn't legally required to be in school in the UAE either (it is compulsory from Grade 1 which is sort of equivalent to Y2 in the English system)

www.khda.gov.ae/Pages/En/Howtoadmitchildtoschool.aspx

zingally · 14/01/2013 18:27

Speaking as a reception teacher!

I'd take him out. Seeing him happy and settled with mum AND dad is more important than a terms schooling at that age.
In 5 years time, it won't matter a jot that he missed a term of reception, but leave him there and he'll always remember being away from daddy (even if he can't articulate it).

CuppaSarah · 14/01/2013 18:36

My DP and MIL were in your exact same situation, same age and country!!(though that was a good 18 years ago)
They opted for moving out without a school place for a term. MIL taught DP at home and tbh they both really benefitted from being together while adjusting to a new life. I doubt it's the same now as it was then, but the only issues they had, was that English schools in UAE teach cursive writing, so he fell a little behind in that. Otherwise there were no issues whatsoever.

Original poster
JoandMax · 14/01/2013 18:43

Thanks so much everyone, we're definitely going to go for it!! I really think it is the best decision for us all.

Now, the job of finding a school..... Reading lots of stories online has scared me slightly!

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thebody · 14/01/2013 18:46

Hope it all goes well. Dubai is awesome.