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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to just invite 5 children?

14 replies

Mimstar · 13/01/2013 21:31

DD's 4th birthday in less than two weeks and we have been let down at the last minute by a venue we had already booked. We found out on Tuesday, the day the invitations were supposed to go out, and I've spent the week trying to find somewhere else but not been able to sort anything out.

I've got a lot of health worries going on at the minute too and this is just adding to my stress, but I obviously can't let DD down who has her heart set on a party. So I've agreed to do a little toy story party at home with cousins etc, but I'm quite good friends with a couple of the parents at school (already was before school_, and there are another couple of children she is particularly close with. There are 20 in the class, and there is no way I can fit all 20 plus parents plus family into our house (we would need 35+ chairs for a start!)

So there would be 5 children from school, each of who I am on friendly terms with the parents - but am I very, very awful to just invite 5? I'm worrying endlessly about this but I don't see another alternative, especially as a couple are family friends anyway.

I'm just dreading bitchy remarks etc, and I'm already so stressed at the moment with work and aforementioned health problems.

Thanks!

OP posts:

littlewhitebag · 13/01/2013 21:36

Blimey - what a lot of stress about a party. It is your choice how many you invite and yours alone. Who cares what anyone else thinks. My kids have had big parties, small parties and no parties at all over the years. There is no obligation to invite an entire class. If this is what you can manage then go for it. The year my DD turned 13 she had wanted a big murder mystery type party. Then i had a hysterectomy and couldn't face it. She just had a small sleepover instead and we did the big party when she was 14. It was no big deal.

Original poster

Mimstar · 13/01/2013 21:38

Oh I know, I am being a bit daft - I have a tendency to really overthink everything though (anxiety particularly bad at the moment!) I'd just hate for anybody to think I was being deliberately mean, but I do think there have been others who've just invited a couple. Who can fit that many four year olds into a house?!

OP posts:

GordonsAlive · 13/01/2013 21:38

Only 5??? Are you mad?!?

I was only brave enough to invite 4 friends for dd's 5th birthday

DisAstrophe · 13/01/2013 21:39

Absolutely fine. Done it loads of times and so have lots of other people I know. You don't need to give any reason or excuse to those you aren't inviting.

Would be different if you were inviting all apart from one or two of them

Remember them that matter don't mind and them that mind don't matter!

Kids will be happy playing so don't worry about trying to do too many games - just have yummy easy food like pizza and ice cream.

TiaMariaandSpringCleaning · 13/01/2013 21:41

There's nothing wrong with having a small party (or no party for that matter), so stop giving yourself such a hard time! . IME many 4yo get a bit overwhelmed with having a big party anyway, so she may actually enjoy it better anyway. You can always do a big party another time if you want to

ZZZenAgain · 13/01/2013 21:42

I think it is fine

ExitPursuedByABear · 13/01/2013 21:43

Invite the same number of children as the age of the birthday child, plus one extra in case someone doesn't turn up. That would be 5.

Sorted.

bollywoodfan · 13/01/2013 21:44

If your dd has not been to other children's parties, then I don't see how anyone can moan about it. If other people have been inviting the whole class and your dd has been going, then you do have an obligation to return the invite iyswim.

Samnella · 13/01/2013 21:48

YANBU that sounds fine.

ebersneezer · 13/01/2013 21:48

I doubt you would get bitchy remarks!

When my first started school I invited the entire class and ended up with less than 10. Ever since I only asked his close friends for a birthday tea, then when he got older just 2 to 5 for a trip to the cinema. My 8 year old has never had a party.

usualsuspect · 13/01/2013 21:53

You don't have an obligation to anyone.Your party sounds fine.If other parents want to have whole class parties that's their choice.Doesn't mean everyone has to do it.

DoodlesNoodles · 13/01/2013 21:54

It is fine to do that . You can remind your DD to not mention in front of the other kids if you want but it is perfectly acceptable.

I think DC's often enjoy smaller party's. Large ones can be too chaotic and impersonal.

Hope it goes well.

GreenShadow · 13/01/2013 21:55

We only ever had small parties at home when the children were younger. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Good luck and enjoy!

wigglesrock · 13/01/2013 21:58

I know loads of people that do this, my daughter was at a 5th birthday party last week, with about 7 other children from across the two classes. When she was 5 I had 3 friends round for her. I don't think theres as much of an obligation for everyone to be invited as you think - if that makes sense

You've been let down by a venue, you've come up with an alternative that works. Enjoy the party (well as much as you can)

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