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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh furious with me

42 replies

1991all · 05/01/2013 21:24

because I haven't booked flights for a holiday we are going on in 6 months time.

And because he asked me to deal with something with a friend of his and his friend kept emailing/calling him for confirmation, even though I did give him all the details
And he was too busy yesterday
And I only have DS to look after, and he works

Oh, and because some show he wanted to watch is in subtitles

He has thrown a bottle of water on the floor and has splattered pasta sauce on the lampshades, which isn't going to come off

OP posts:
GreatBallsofFluff · 05/01/2013 21:25

Ltb

pictish · 05/01/2013 21:27

Is this sort of temper display a regular thing?

Original poster
1991all · 05/01/2013 21:30

Yes Fluff, I would like to

Pictish- it's like a cycle, we work on it, he shows signs of improvement then gets all stressy and kicks off

Joint relationship counselling,
Cbt for him, anti-depressants for both of us

OP posts:
oldqueenie · 05/01/2013 21:31

How old is he? Hmm
Does he usually have temper tantrums and throw his food around??

WhySoSirius · 05/01/2013 21:31

Sounds like an arsehole to me, sorry OP.

Original poster
1991all · 05/01/2013 21:32

This time last week I was the best thing since sliced bread, and he couldn't do it without me, blah blah

V important piece of info, he ran out of clean underwear this week after me being away. Hanging offence obviously
He had clean underwear he just hadn't unpacked his fucking bag

OP posts:
Original poster
1991all · 05/01/2013 21:33

He's in his 40s

OP posts:
BluelightsAndSirens · 05/01/2013 21:34

He needs to realise you are his partner not his personal assistant and respect that.

I will run dry cleaning and help out when DH is stressed with pressure at work but only because he shows appreciation and does the same for me when needed.

You really don't have to put up with food being thrown abut, is he a toddler?

pictish · 05/01/2013 21:34

Are you joshing?

He can wash his own fucking underwear.

Shakey1500 · 05/01/2013 21:34

Not something I would put up with I'm afraid.

I'd be outta there. Sounds like a 7 year old.

AgentZigzag · 05/01/2013 21:40

You're expected to fall in with when he chooses to blow hot or cold, keep you on your toes guessing what it's going to be today.

If ever there was a case of a man being controlling, this is it.

I grew up in a similar household and the one I've got myself now is so much more predictable and on an even keel. It's horrible treading on eggshells all the time.

I don't believe people are like this because it's the way they were made, it's well within his control not to let explosive acts of temper affect the rest of his family.

What's the pattern of the cycle? Have you set anything up for CBT etc, or is that just what you would like to happen?

MrsDeVere · 05/01/2013 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbigailAdams · 05/01/2013 21:47

1991all you have sussed what you need to do. I am presuming you have just posted to get moral support from others. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who thinks it is your duty to wash his underpants?

EuroShagmore · 05/01/2013 22:07

What a nob. I wouldn't be with someone like that.

DPotter · 05/01/2013 22:18

Excuse me - I'm not usually this confrontational - but you're taking anti-depressants for HIS anger issues ? That's not right on so many levels.

Time for a re-think about being the doormat 1991all. Today it's the pasta sauce on the lampshade, tomorrow the bowl will be aimed at you. It's good you have recognised you would like to leave - now you need to do something about it.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 22:19

I'm wondering why you're involved in joint relationship counselling when your husband is abusive.

AnyFucker · 05/01/2013 22:20

Joint relationship counselling is not recommended for where there is evident abuse in a relationship

this thread being case in point

dump the fucker

PleasePudding · 05/01/2013 22:20

If he hasn't cooled off after an hour and apologised profusely then he's a dickhead and you need to leave.

Did he acknowledge that he was being awful about the pants?

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 05/01/2013 22:22

Leave the water and pasta sauce where they are, and then leave him. Do you have children with this man-child?
You can do without pandering and tiptoeing around your own home, needing antidepressants! because of his behaviour - he is forty ffs, he's a grown up and needs to start acting like one Confused

AgentZigzag · 05/01/2013 22:22

I don't mind washing undies, and I wouldn't mind DH asking if I knew where any were if he didn't have any.

But I would mind him creating about it.

It'd make me wonder what he was really getting irate at, because not having any clean shreddies is only a minor irritation, not in the slightest something that should cause an argument on it's own.

It's someone looking for conflict, and I wouldn't be happy being an outlet for someone else to get off on whenever the mood took them.

EllenParsons · 05/01/2013 22:24

He really sounds horrible OP :(

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2013 22:26

I don't care if he cools off and begs forgiveness - you need to leave this controlling twat. What a nasty shit he is. What's stopping you?

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/01/2013 22:47

"Excuse me - I'm not usually this confrontational - but you're taking anti-depressants for HIS anger issues ? That's not right on so many levels."
Absolutely spot on. Sad

BagCat · 05/01/2013 22:52

He is being unreasonable. And he ain't gonna change.

Dawndonna · 05/01/2013 23:14

time to go.

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