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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is not a present..

54 replies

mamamibbo · 03/01/2013 21:05

its a 'big' birthday mid january, ive been after a tablet for ages, dh didnt get me a xmas present because i was getting a big birthday present ..

hes just told me i can upgrade my phone contract in february and get a tablet as the free gift in that with my new phone (that'll probably sell since i like my phone) and hes going to do the same so we can both have tablet and the laptop can be for my business (that was my idea, we only have one computer and i need it at night when he wants to use it sometimes)

so now im getting what i asked for, 3 weeks late so thats my present sorted?

what do you reckon?

OP posts:
JeezyOrangePips · 03/01/2013 21:08

If he is getting one too is that his birthday present?

JeezyOrangePips · 03/01/2013 21:08

Actually make that his birthday plus Xmas 2013...

Original poster
mamamibbo · 03/01/2013 21:09

his birthday is in october, i bought him a sat nav from me and a greenhouse from the kids

OP posts:
Original poster
mamamibbo · 03/01/2013 21:10

and i bought him £90 of football stuff from xmas from us all

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 03/01/2013 21:10

Do you have to pay any extra on your contract to get the tablet and new phone, and is he going to pay it?

Personally, I wouldn't consider an upgrade a birthday present unless it was costing a lot to get a new phone I really wanted. Especially if my DH was getting the same and would then expect a birthday present later in the year.

CloudsAndTrees · 03/01/2013 21:11

And he owes you a separate Christmas present if your birthday present is going to be a freebie.

KirstyJC · 03/01/2013 21:12

Tightarse! No way a freebie you have to apply for yourself is a present (and presumably you have to pay more for if it's an upgrade?)

Laugh at him, and then say "Very funny - I can't wait to see what you have ACTUALLY got me now, given that this is so obviously taking the piss....."

No way this counts as a present!

Original poster
mamamibbo · 03/01/2013 21:12

nope, itthe exact same price as the contract i have now and all bills are paid from the family pot

OP posts:
itsmineitsmine · 03/01/2013 21:12

We share finances in this house and have no separate money so i dont really 'get' the idea of spending money and saying something is from one person for birthday, christmas or whatever.

JeezyOrangePips · 03/01/2013 21:12

You are missing my point. If he thinks that's a birthday plus Xmas gift for you, it should have the same value for him. So you don't need to buy him a gift till October 2014 in that case.

See what he thinks of that idea.

JazzAnnNonMouse · 03/01/2013 21:13

No I wouldn't count an upgrade as a birthday present unless it's going to cost a lot more and he's going to pay for it.
Also Hmm about him getting a tablet on your birthday too.
Maybe he has other plans?

Arisbottle · 03/01/2013 21:13

You wanted a tablet and you are getting one , can't see the problem

poozlepants · 03/01/2013 21:16

Fair enough if it's a good deal on the tablets and it's the one you want but it's not a proper present.

HoneyDragon · 03/01/2013 21:16

I got a upgraded phone for my birthday. But as I hammerd down our bill two years ago it meant an increase which dh is paying for.

I'd be a peed off if dh got himself a tablet too and didn't at least get a token gift.

HollaAtMeBaby · 03/01/2013 21:18

Great! Now that you're getting the tablet free, what do you want for your combined big birthday and Christmas present? Better give your DH as much notic as possible Grin

HollyBerryBush · 03/01/2013 21:19

I wouldnt have an issue with that - but I am penny wise and pound concious - I do not see the point of spending money and lining corporate pockets if things can be acquired more cheaply by biding your time.

redskyatnight · 03/01/2013 21:22

Depends how big a deal you set by presents. I'd be perfectly happy with his suggestion - sounds sensible and saves (your family) money.

happynewmind · 03/01/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Startail · 03/01/2013 21:26

Shared finances here so seems fine to me.
And I know a nice restaurant to spend the money saved in.

Original poster
mamamibbo · 03/01/2013 21:27

i got nothing, not even a box of chocs :(

OP posts:
StupidFlanders · 03/01/2013 21:28

That would piss me off. I would expect an Xmas present as an absolute minimum.
I would point out that he was actually spending nothing on Xmas and bday and you're not even keeping the new phone!
Normally I'd be fine with it of we had discussed not giving presents/ spending money but he implied he was saving for something big!

HoneyDragon · 03/01/2013 21:52

See if I have stated no presents I am fine with no presents.

If I need something and it is to be a present it should be given as a present.

I am frugal too and would much prefer to get the tablet this way, but I would expect my dh to think "fuck, that's a bit unair on HD as I'm getting one too and she got no Xmas gift" and come up with something, nothing expensive, but something.

I don't expect gifts and when we can't afford them we don't do them, but I think your dh is being a bit lazy on this one.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 03/01/2013 21:57

I don't see why you're assuming this is your gift, unless he said so.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 03/01/2013 21:59

The laziness/thoughtlessness would bother me. How would he feel if you'd done this to him?

I'm assuming you have family finances, and then you both have money you spend on yourselves/presents from you, etc? If so, tell him that, as you're now getting the tablet for free and that is no longer your joint christmas/birthday present, you'd like a cheque for the amount the tablet would have cost, please. And go shopping Grin.

QueenofPlaids · 03/01/2013 22:10

I wouldn't have an issue with the upgrade per se, but if I'm reading this correctly it's not costing him anything? Even if he found the deal, that does not IMO a present make.

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