Have NC.
Dsis has been planning her wedding for this summer. Have just found out about plans 'excluding' my DD as part of the wedding and instead a guest. Want to know AIBU?
So as not to drip-feed, dysfunctional family and I only have contact with Dsis.
Dsis has four DNep/niec in total. The eldest (Dbro's) DN (9) will be a page boy and DNiec (7) a flower girl. My DD (3) hasn't been included. I don't expect to dictate anyones wedding however, I think if you've only 4 DN then include all or not at all.
I'm quite hurt my DD isn't included as part of the ceremony, just a guest when cousins are flower girl and page boy.
Other DNiec is only 5months old and will be under a year at the time of the wedding so understand not including a baby that's not walking/talking and her baby wasn't born when other Dsis was planning the wedding.
AIBU to not go as I feel DD is being snubbed? whilst cousins are favoured and don't want my child around this.
It's awkward enough with avoiding rest of family. To simply say whilst it is her wedding and she can do what she wants, as DD isn't important enough to be part of ceremony, I'd prefer for her to not be a guest than see the exclusion herself (Ok, unlikely to notice it at just over 3yrs but I will and don't want her to grow-up and feel second best).
Bro is very domineering and Dsis wouldn't ever not include his children but happy to exclude mine.
It happens every year; my DD birthday, christmas, card and presents always months late but Dsis can always manage to see Dbros children for their birthdays/christmas eventhough they're 100s of miles away and we're always bottom of the list.
I don't want DD feeling excluded and always a second thought to Dsis (the man she's marrying has no DNs) and although not going to her wedding will most likely cause us to then not have anything to do with each other I think that may well be better than letting DD grow-up around this and us always being sloppy seconds!
After another christmas with no card or present and 'we'll drop them off next year' it's the final straw I think (they know DD will have no other card or present from family other than her Mum and Dad of course).
DD lives under an hour away from Dsis and sees her a few times a year - we go over to hers a couple/few times a year, she'll come over once. So not particularly close but same for her and Dbro although they live several hours away from each other - she'll visit them 1/2 times a year and Dbro will visit 1/2 times a year so again not particularly close to her other DN's but will always see them on one of the DCs birthdays (same month) and christmas - neither is forgotten unlike my DD's.
AIBU?