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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to punch people that comment on my appearance?

32 replies

kisssmekate · 31/12/2012 02:28

One woman at work comes in and says to me "god you look tired, had a light night last night?"

"Erm ... no"

Cue awkward silence.

Different time -

"wow you look how I feel - tired!"

"Well I was feeling fine before but now I feel like shit"

  • Yes sometimes I can look tired no matter how much sleep I've had but why do you feel the need to tell me I look like shit.
OP posts:
TurnipCake · 31/12/2012 02:31

"You look how I feel" gives me the rage and is so bloody rude.

I would punch to (in an alternate universe of course Grin )

LuluMai · 31/12/2012 02:32

I usually get the tired comments when I don't wear make up.

Original poster
kisssmekate · 31/12/2012 02:35

It is just a more polite way of saying - You look like shit.

Thanks, that's really made my day.

OP posts:
EllenParsons · 31/12/2012 02:40

Yanbu. Do the people who say that not think before speaking?! It sounds so rude! I would be pissed off to hear that too. I think anyone would be!

sparkleyangel · 31/12/2012 02:42

Try smiling when you meet people

MoleyMick · 31/12/2012 02:42

It doesn't bother me really. But I generally AM tired!

CuddlyBlanket · 31/12/2012 02:43

Do you tell them they look tired?

Original poster
kisssmekate · 31/12/2012 02:43

Whats smiling got to do with it sparkley ?

OP posts:
OrangeLily · 31/12/2012 02:54

My mum does this and will insist I am tired even if I'm not! Like she tries to force me in accepting that I'm tired. It's so bizarre.

But I am always grateful for the underhanded " you look like shit" comment too.

ChristmasNamechangeBridezilla · 31/12/2012 02:58

I remember being heavily pregnant in Tescos when a distant harbinger of doom relation walked up to me and said "Ooh Christmas, you look dreadful. And I don't like your hair like that, it makes you look really old."

I was 25. And I felt fine.

She is a very rude woman in general though.

sparkleyangel · 31/12/2012 03:10

kisssmekateMon 31-Dec-12 02:43:54

Whats smiling got to do with it sparkley ?

When you smile at people they cant help smiling. A smiley face brightens everyone's day.

NoMoreMarbles · 31/12/2012 03:23

I hate that! And also when you are pottering about, minding your own business and some A-Hole says "smile, it might never happen..."Hmm I tend not to wander around minding my own business with an inane grin on my face just in. A&E someone sees me and has a fleeting thought that I look miserable...

I do sometimes catch myself asking people (ones I know obv...) if they are ok as they don't look itBlush

NoMoreMarbles · 31/12/2012 03:25

Just in. A&E?? Where the F did that come from?

Just in case... I meant Blush

shockers · 31/12/2012 03:50

I'm sick of folk asking me if I'm alright at work. I walk around grinning like a loon now, just to fend off the concerned looks. It's winter, I'm pale, I can't do anything about it other than go orange Hmm

SpottyTeacakes · 31/12/2012 03:59

I always get it if I'm not wearing make up but since having ds I get it all the time. Pisses me off. Of course I'm tired he's five weeks old and has me up all night ffs if I wasn't round your house for a stupid family get together I could be in bed!! (Guess what I did yesterday?!)

FellatioNelson · 31/12/2012 05:02

YABU to punch them YANBU to want to punch them, so long as you abstain.

When I worked and mostly wore make-up but occasionally didn't, I used to get the 'you look tired' or 'are you ill?' thing all the time. That's why I think it's always good to have a 50:50 make-up to no make up policy. It means people think you look normal either way.

echt · 31/12/2012 06:49

The HOD of a school I worked in did this all the time to all women. To be fair she was as thick as, but it still grated.

Eventually: HER: Oooh echt, you DO look tired. ECHT: Yes, I am, would you like to do my marking?

It's just bloody bloody rude. There's no excuse for informing anyone they look bad.

theodorakisses · 31/12/2012 07:16

I used to get this every single day for about 20 years, my mum said I was born with bags under my eyes. I have Botox on my lower eyes and bags now and haven't had a comment for 2 years.

Just remember that, just because you are not a rude twat like them, A return comment may make you feel better. Just pick your moment and try a comment back, if they look hurt, just say you we're concerned, like when they said you looked tired. It really works.

stookiesackhouse · 31/12/2012 07:35

I get this when I don't wear make-up. I just come back with 'no, I am not tired, I am just not wearing make-up. Thanks for your concern though.' Hmm

Proudnscaryvirginmary · 31/12/2012 08:10

My MIL (who I love) says things like this a lot - you look tired/pale etc. what I find worse is when she (frequently) comments on whatever I'm wearing in front of everyone. Like 'ooh that's a very bright jumper there! Is it new?'. Always an open comment but no compliment! I just end up feeling paranoid and a bit stupid.

Santasapunkatheart · 31/12/2012 08:18

Blimey, I would never say this to anyone. Yes I am always 'pale/tired' apparently. It's annoying and not really very helpful.

If the next person says 'You look how I feel.'....just say 'What... ashamed to be so rude?'

Wink
BadDog · 31/12/2012 08:19

Worse is "you look well". Aka fat

peaceandlovebunny · 31/12/2012 09:41

its caring. 'you look tired' = 'are you ok?'.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 31/12/2012 09:48

It's not caring. Caring would be 'can I take the children overnight?' 'Can I get through that pile of ironing for you?'
I'm looking at you, MIL.

mellowcat · 31/12/2012 09:52

I used to get this a lot before I started taking iron supplements. Never get it now.