Photographs for my 40th

[ItsGrimUpNorth]

Dh got some lovely studio photos of the dcs done for my 40th birthday this past autumn. You know the sort - kids laughing with a white backdrop. Some people love them, some people hate them. I really like them - they capture the dcs' character perfectly. They're quite big and I've got two in each of their bedrooms and one in mine.

I visited a relative this Christmas and was surprised to see one of the pictures on their kitchen wall. I asked Dh if he'd given one of the prints to the relative because I hadn't and the quality was quite bad. He said he hadn't.

This means this relative has taken a photo of the photo. Without asking. In my bedroom.

Am I being petty? It's just that I really think they should have asked. I feel like these images were done for me on my birthday and were a gift to me by dh.

How weird - sneaking around in your bedroom with a camera! Surely they could have asked for a copy of the photo? And then you could have explained that you just wanted them specially for you.

Why didn't you just ask them about it?

I was going to but it was all so busy, Christmas etc. I will ask them about it but I'm annoyed about it. I want to tell them not to take photos of my stuff, particularly in my bedroom, without asking me.

It feels like I can't have anything to myself.

Not quite sure I understand why you're upset to be honest. If I had pictures of my family that were that nice I would be very happy for any of my family who loved my kiddies to have a small copy of the picture. I don't think that detracts from the lovely, thoughtful gift your husband arranged for you.
I suppose it might have been nice to ask, but I doubt they ever thought you would be so upset. I also wonder if your DH may have actually given them a copy, but seeing how annoyed you were decided to chicken out of fessing up and simply denied all knowledge!

Really odd that they didn't ask you for a print.
I wouldn't feel possessive about a photo but the sneakiness would piss me off.

that is weird they could have asked first taking a picture and putting it up on your own wall is just a bit weird and intrusive, was this a grandparents house maybe they thought it was ok, it is not though

Leaving aside any feelings about the photo itself, wandering round and taking photos of your personal possessions in your private space is not on.

I would happily have let someone take a photo if they had asked but to just go and do it? Totally unacceptable.

wouldn't feel possessive about a photo but the sneakiness would piss me off.

this

They have millions of photos of the dcs. Every single photo we have of them, they ask for and have. We send them school pictures as well every time they come out. They take loads when they visit too. All fine but this is sneaky.

All fine but this is sneaky.

yes it is and a bit possessive too

Which relative is it exactly?

Possessive on my part, MrsJay?

no theirs they were sneaky and thought it was ok

they were possessive enough to take the picture iyswim

Which relative it is is irrelevant, Monty. Plus I'm not "so upset" - I'm irritated by what I feel is taking liberties.

Is this your parents?

Seems very intrusive- I would hate this!

Had you shown this person the photos in your room or had they been roaming around the house?

I get the feeling they've just nosied around the house imperial

Sorry, but I think which relative might be relevant. If its your or DHs parents I would say again, perhaps he gave a copy of the picture of DGC to them and is to embarrassed/scared of your reaction to fess up. Just my opinion, sorry.

but the relatives have photies of the children the op said they felt they needed this 1 too and just took a picture and had it printed off, it is weird

Every possible surface in their house is covered in photos of the children. This particular one is of bad quality so I believe dh when he says he's not given them a copy. I think he too felt they were just for us, for once.

I don't think they were "roaming" the house, per se. Perhaps they were upstairs playing with the dcs and ended up in my bedroom where there are some toys as well as in the dcs bedroom. They saw the pic, fancied it and just took a shot. They know they were for my 40th though as we've talked about them in passing as to what dh got me for my birthday.

I will ask them about it but I will express annoyance because I feel it is taking liberties.

And if one of them drops dead tonight (god forbid), will this really have mattered?
I'm only saying this as a very dear relative died very unexpectedly recently and left us all with a big hole in our lives. I just think some things need perspective. They weren't riffling through your private papers or drawers, they just liked a picture that you had on display in a room that you thought they might go into anyway.

Rule number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it's all small stuff. ~Robert Eliot

I'd be pretty peed off that someone had taken a photo in my bedroom, of all places, but I could get over that.

The odd bit is that they took a photo, and then had it processed, without ever asking or mentioning it to you. That is utterly bizarre.

There's something very strange about taking a photo of a photo anyway. I don't know anyone who wouldn't just ask for a copy of the photo. It's not like many people would say no, and it'd be much better quality then...

YANBU Taking a photo of a photo instead of asking is just weird.