To ask people to keep their DC to themselves

[crazy8]

Ok. I know I may upset people with the following but am I being unreasonable to ask people to not let their children play around my table while I am out having dinner with my DH and DC so that they can eat in peace while their DC amuse themselves at my table.

Was at a restaurant in Canary Wharf and the table behind us let their DC happily play at my table. Was actually looking to have a nice meal out. Was not expecting fine dining but a little bit of courtesy from the parents of the walkabout children would have been appreciated.

Did you tell THEM?

Well, maybe yuo looked welcoming.

YANBU! I have 4 dc's. I would never subject others to the rigours of putting up with them . No way should that have been allowed. Mine would have been told off and we would have left if they persisted, it's only fair.

You mean you don't find my little darlings as endearing, cute and lovable as I do?! How rude! :-D

Dinner at Canary wharf? How can they afford to take their kids with them

I didn't tell them as I didn't want to be rude! ( my problem - I know) I just think when you go out for a meal you should either ask your children to sit at the table or stop them going up to other tables and bothering people.

You don't have to be rude, just say "excuse me, but we are trying to enjoy a quiet family dinner, would you mind calling your children back to your table please".

Simples.

YANBU - I would never allow my DCs to do that. Hell I wouldn't even let them get up from the table in a restaurant unless they needed the loo or were en route to either the loo, something food related or a children's area.

It's just bloody rude!

but did they look like they were bothering you, or like they were happily making friends with your dcs?

From what you have described, not unreasonable.

My toddler nephew is extremely restless, so SiL solves the problem by taking him outside for a quick walk. Once back, he has to sit at the table.

I'd have said "Oi fuck off ya little shits"

I'm joking!

We'd have delivered them back saying 'how delightful they are but could they go and entertain other guests so we can get on with our meal now'.

They were definitely not delightful. The younger one looked like he had a cold. I think in future will use the lines by Vesta and Welsh. My DC were getting very annoyed by them.

I'd honestly have just said "Ok, off you go back to mum and dad"

We got lumbered with two very "spirited" children on holiday once because their own mum and her partner seemed to think our DCs were delighted to be with them. They weren't.

I'd had enough after about two days and told them to go back to their mum.

Job done.

Definitely not BU.

I think the point is not that you should have to ask the parents to call their DCs back, but that the parents should have enough manners not to let them go off bothering people at other tables in the first place.

You only have to read some threads on MN, though, to see that there are plenty of parents who don't think this is a problem

I agree you should have said something. I have to say, being a broody fool, I am one of those people constantly cooing over babies and chatting to other people's toddlers and yes, if someone's children came up to me in a restaurant (obviously not a very adult one), then I would be quite happy with it. So I'm afraid the existance of people like me mean that people like you are probably assumed by many parents to be the same way!

I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if you'd just asked them to go back to their mum and dad.

YANBU, it is annoying.
When my DC were little we went to resturants with a play area (and sat near enough to keep an eye on them)
Then places that gave you crayons and colour in sheets.
Even now, my DS is not the type who eats for pleasure, it's just to refuel for him.

When my DC were very little (DS was 4 ,DD about a year) we stayed in a naice hotel on the M6 .
At breakfast, DS wanted to sit by the window where the ducks were.
There was a diner (older man) eating. I asked if he minded if my DC sat at the next table.
He said "I'd be delighted"
But if he'd said "I'm reading my paper/having a quiet think" I'd have put them at another table.
(And they were very well behaved)

I'm totally with you, it's so wrong to let your kids wander off to another persons table and say nothing. My son is 4 years old and sits with us from start to finish, no running around, no going off to other tables. It's just bloody rude!

YANBU. But some people don't realise the world doesn't exist purely for the benefit of their offspring.

YANBU

I used to drink in a pub where the landlord's wee shite toddler son used to enjoy running around spitting in people's drinks. The barstaff (his mum and dad were rarely seen) used to turn a blind eye. He only stopped when a very meek and mild female friend grabbed him by his shirt and threw him across the table after he'd heartily flobbed in her pint.

Why take your child to a restaurant if you're not going to teach them manners? That is the whole point or else you'd be better off in McDonald's if it's a carry on they're wanting.

Whenever I've taken my dts out (11 today!) they've known not to run around (people are carrying hot plates and drinks after all) and to sit at the table. Some folk get awful huffy at the idea that not everyone is enamoured at precocious little darlings screeching and hollering. When they were younger if either of them misbehaved I took them out to wherever was quiet and stood until they'd finished. It gets pretty boring after about 1 minute for them!

I've had it where little ones have come up and tried to take food off my dts plates or tried to drink their juice! Parents completely ignoring them. Tempted to go up and offer my babysitting services for a fee!

I would have been annoyed too. If this happens to me again in the future, I will ask them tell them to go back to their parents.

YANBU. I hate this.

Salmo that happened to us one year as well. Two little girls of a bout 5 and 7 attached themselves to us because they took a shine to my DS who was 2. They wanted to play with him like he was a doll or something, and my older two DS's were quite happy to ignore them, so I ended up having to listen to them chirruping away all day while their mother topped up her tan and read her book.

Because they were playing in the pool (loosely speaking, in other words they were in close proximity) with my older two, their parents went off to the adult pool for a bit of peace and quiet and said 'Oh, we are just going up there for a bit, the girls prefer it here, they are fine - they know where we are if they need us.' They were gone for hours. But I am quite sure they would never have done that if they had not had me conveniently there for emergencies. They were clever enough not to say they were dumping them on me, but that was clearly what they were doing. Then they asked us if we were staying by the pool all afternoon, we said probably, yes, and asked if we'd watch the girls while they went into town. It went on all week, one way or another. The girls would follow us to the children's buffet lunch and everything, but it was hard to say they couldn't as it was an all-inc and they could come and go as they pleased, and sit where they wanted. Really pissed me off though. I did have to get a bit shirty in the end.

YANBU. Weirdest assumption of interest in someone's little darling was on the maternity ward. I was trying to feed DS and a neighbours visiting six year old kept trying to talk to us. Somewhat incredulously DH told him firmly to go away.

Yes you saw my similarly aged stepsons visit, yes I clearly went on to have a child myself but now really isn't the time to foist your kid onto others!!!