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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope my Ladybits recover? :(

95 replies

Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:00

It's been nearly 9 weeks since I had my baby - I had a second degree tear and stitches. Am doing pelvic floor exercises because my GP said the internal wall of my vagina is quite weak.

DH and I had sex for the first time post-birth the other day. I am very very loose, not really enjoyable for either of us. TMI sorry - It was only enjoyable for him (or me) a bit more from behind (and annoyingly, that position is most ouchy on my stitches).

The term "vagine like sleeve of wizard" comes to mind. :(

Does it get better!?! Will it get tighter over time? I seriously did not expect to be this loose - my baby was inly 7lb 4oz!

FFS for the next one I want a c-section :(

AIBU unreasonable to hope my fanny recovers? :( What timeframe for improvement should I expect? I was thinking if after a year it wasn't better I'd very seriously look into reconstructive surgery.

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Original poster
Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:01

I meant I'm doing pelvic floor exercises LIKE MAD because the internal wall is weak - I know everyone should do them generally after a baby!!!

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BahSaidPaschaHumbug · 27/12/2012 19:02

It'll get better. Nine weeks is nothing. Nine months is more like it, though after four or five you should start seeing an improvement. Keep doing the pelvic floor exercises, its the best thing to tone it all up again.

StNiChaolas · 27/12/2012 19:02

I kniw very little about this, but I am Shock that people would consider a section for this reason.

Am I naive?

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 27/12/2012 19:03

Nine weeks isn't long at all, really! You're doing the right thing in persevering with the exercises, I am really glad now (5 DCs aged between 22 and 6) that I did mine all these years as they have definitely made a difference.

comedycentral · 27/12/2012 19:04

It sounds like its too early for you to havery sex, sore and stitches. Ouch.
I had a third degree tear, weak pelvic floor even two years on. Keep up the exercises.

aprilrain · 27/12/2012 19:04

Well I didn't even think about attempting sex that early post partum - I think it was more like 6 months for us. And even then, I didn't feel quite right inside - painful more than anything.

But after a year or so I felt completely normal again.

Have had 2 babies now and all is normal down there.

McChristmasPants2012 · 27/12/2012 19:04

I got a battery powered pelvic floor trainer, so I knew I was working the right muscles.

I didn't have any stitches so I would check if pelvic floor trainers are safe

MsElleTow · 27/12/2012 19:07

No StNiChaolas, if you are naive I am too!

Really, you want major surgery next time rather than having a flappy fanny for a few weeks?Hmm.

It will tighten up! Nine weeks is nothing! Keep doing your exercises, you aren't expecting your stomach to ping back are you? Well your bits need a bit of time too!

Allonsy · 27/12/2012 19:09

You definitely need to give it more time I was exactly the same after ds1 it did go completely back in time, with ds2 it was shocking for a while got much better now but not completely the same 1 year after still time tho 'hopeful'

McChristmasPants2012 · 27/12/2012 19:10

Actually it wasn't battery powered

Original poster
Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:14

Thanks all . ok so by the sounds of things I should see an improvement at 6 months ish, and definitely by a year? That seems like a very long time :( machine could be interesting, saw it discussed on MN previously.

This sucks because I'm super-horny ( and have been since 2 weeks post-partum) and we didn't have much sex during pregnancy.

stnick I would have been Shock myself at the idea before having my baby. Sorry but it's dreadful, really. I am not prepared to live the rest of my life with a vagina this loose. The tearing hurt like fucking hell (an inch in either direction according to DH) even with an epidural and it was very sore recovery. I am now firmly of the belief that any woman should have a c-section if she wants one (even though I know that's not financially possible). Natural birth can go fuck off, and when it gets there it can fuck off some more. Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:15

Sorry to sound so ranty, I am just feeling really down about crappy sex with DH :(

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Bobyan · 27/12/2012 19:17

C-sections come with their own problems...

Original poster
Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:22

Yes boby I know. Have had friends with really rubbish recoveries, overhanging/pinched looking scars etc! Couldn't pick up older DCs for ages etc. Ouch!

But my induced labour and birth were pretty traumatic. Although c-section is major surgery (I definitely did NOT want one pre-baby), I'd now say pick your poison, really...

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puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 27/12/2012 19:24

By a pelvic toner and use it like its going out of fashion.

Also it would be worth going to a gynie to check you were stitched up properly, and see if they can shed any light on the issue.

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas · 27/12/2012 19:25

It will get better, your fanjo has done an amazing thing and to be fair even at 7+ pounds it's a lot to get out Grin

Make sure you are doing them properly otherwise it won't help. At 12 months if you think there is still a problem then see your gp.

Allonsy · 27/12/2012 19:26

Honestly at 12 weeks post partum with ds2 dh and I done it and I felt nothing! I freaked out for weeks especially because I didn't have that problem after ds1 but it slowly improved just give it time

margarethamilton · 27/12/2012 19:28

Had DD four months ago. First time for us was about nine or ten weeks afterwards and I felt exactly the same. But subsequently things have got much better (been doing Davina DVD and there's a pelvic floor bit in that). It does get better honestly.

Original poster
Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:33

puds my GP said to go to a gynae at 3 months if I saw no improvement, that's why I'm freaked out! Ie the idea it should be better at 3 months.

The senior house officer who did the stitching took an hour to do it so I bloody hope she did it right. Confused

This and breastfeeding failure (no post-natal support, baby wouldn't latch) makes me feel like my body is useless upstairs and downstairs :( :(

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EMS23 · 27/12/2012 19:38

My gynaecologist physio said 2 years for complete recovery to the tissues.

Funnily enough I've always been very horny 2 weeks post birth! Not like me at all at any other time!!!

MyLittleAprilSunshine · 27/12/2012 19:42

:o I do hope it goes back to normal.

I am due beginning of April and having a forever lose vjay sounds pretty traumatic.

I too am a pretty randy person and that would leave me gutted. But at least the baby is healthy, that's the important thing.

LadyWidmerpool · 27/12/2012 19:42

I would give it a bit longer. Bank some sleep!

abigboydidit · 27/12/2012 19:45

Was just about to say that I had a failed induction leading to an EMCS and didn't even attempt anything till 12 weeks or so & although nothing should have changed it was still pretty uncomfortable & we waited a while before trying again. 6 months doesn't sound unreasonable TBH. Know that isn't what you want to hear but I had a straightforward recovery & it still doesn't mean a magic wand (possibly not the best expression actually..) when it comes to post-baby sex.

StiffyByng · 27/12/2012 19:48

My six weeks' effort was extremely similar and I also freaked out. I can't remember how long it took to feel 'normal' again but definitely less than six months. Doing the PF exercises will really speed things up too. Remember though that pelvic floor damage is done by pregnancy itself as well as birth, so a C section isn't necessarily going to mean you don't have any other problems with a second baby.

Original poster
Zara1984 · 27/12/2012 19:48

Thanks EMS I am a bit Shock of course to read that - but honesty is good! Ok, 2 years to reconstructive surgery....

You lot are great, I googled the problem and got stupid BabyCentre threads saying "ohhhhh I was tighter and it felt better than ever at 3 weeks"! Bah. And WTF aren't many women still bleeding heavily at 3 weeks?? I only stopped bleeding at 7 weeks.... Then got my period a week later. Fuck you biology...

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