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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop my 2.2 year old from sleeping in the day?

30 replies

ThermalMittens · 27/12/2012 09:14

I think he's too young to drop his daytime nap, and it's quite difficult to stop him from falling asleep around 1ish, but when he naps he just will NOT go to sleep at night, until 9-9.30pm. With no nap he's in bed by 7-7.30 at the latest. No matter what time he goes to sleep, he wakes up around 7am.

I'm feeling fairly conflicted...I can see he gets tired in the day, and I feel guilty for stopping him from napping. But the bedtimes are killing me. And with DS2 due in a couple of months, long naps and drawn-out, late bedtimes will become even less sustainable.

Gah, guilt. Am I being U/selfish from stopping him napping?

OP posts:
Knittingnovice · 27/12/2012 09:15

YANBU, but why not try getting him to nap every other day? It worked with both my two and stopped the being awake til 10pm

littlewhitebag · 27/12/2012 09:18

Perhaps you can stop putting him in bed for a nap. As you say he will often just fall asleep anyway so you can't really stop that but he might sleep a shorter time on the sofa or in the car. It is quite young to give up a daytime nap at all.

Original poster
ThermalMittens · 27/12/2012 09:22

Thanks knitting - that's a good idea to try. He's been such a terrible sleeper since birth. So wearing for all of us! I'm getting stupidly worried that no2 is going to be the same .

OP posts:
Original poster
ThermalMittens · 27/12/2012 09:23

It is young :(.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 27/12/2012 09:24

dd2 could sleep on a knives edge she was still napping at 5 3 if you r toddler is tired if let him nap but not for long wake him I let dd2 sleep on the sofa rather than bed, and woke her after half n hour, she went to bed no later than 8 .

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 27/12/2012 09:30

i agree it is young, but both of mine i actively stopped both of mine napping at 2 and if DD in particular had a wink of sleep in the day, it affected her sleep badly at night. she is now 3.10 and she fell asleep in the car for 5 minutes on the way back from swimming last week, and she was still awake at 10.30pm. i have NO idea how that works - she is usually asleep by 7.30 after going to be at about 7.10.

i know a lot of people have kids who will still sleep for 2 hours in the day at the age of 3 and still go to sleep nicely at 6.30pm. but for a lot of parents, that isn't the reality of their child. so please don't feel guilty about trying to stop the naps if that is what you need to do. it isn't any good for a child to be creating merry hell all evening because they have napped for 10 mins in the day either - losing several hours of sleep and then being hideously tired the next day in the process.

kilmuir · 27/12/2012 09:32

How long is the nap for

mrsjay · 27/12/2012 09:35

but for a lot of parents, that isn't the reality of their child. so please don't feel guilty

this I couldn't let dd1 nap from about 2 she was a terrible sleeper . it is nothing to do with guilt but all to do with the child and parents and what they decide, but saying all that if he is sleepy id let him have 40 winks to save the crabbyness of a tired toddler

ZenNudist · 27/12/2012 09:37

Seems to be a common problem amongst me and my friends with 2yos. Can't not nap in the day, but won't sleep at night. I find ds is a horror if I don't get him to nap but he bounces round the bed til 9pm. If I do stop his nap he falls asleep at 5 or something we just can't get through tea.

He still naps invthe day and i stick with 7.30 bed time, tuck him in and leave him to it. He plays with teddies or removes his pjs and falls asleep, then I go back and stick his socks back on and tuck him back in.

Theicingontop · 27/12/2012 09:37

I second the sofa idea. My 2.5 year old sleeps on the sofa now for 1.5 hours, whereas when I put him in bed to sleep he'd sleep for 3, longer if I left him. The normal hustle bustle you have around the house helps them wake up. I'd vacuum, use my sewing machine and generally clank about and he'd wake when he was ready to.

Still goes to bed pretty late (9-ish) which I think would be sorted by cutting out the naps, but honestly, he's so grumpy by mid-afternoon that it's not worth it.

Try the sofa thing, if that doesn't work, wake him up earlier. If that doesn't work, phase out the naps. He'll soon let you know if he's not ready.

Some0ne · 27/12/2012 09:49

Mine is 2.6, and has started going to sleep no earlier than 9:30, whether she naps or not. And the poor little sausage is exhausted : (

Two year olds are a mystery.

forevergreek · 27/12/2012 09:52

Can you try being active in the afternoon? 3 year here def still needs nap, but we go out every afternoon rain or shine for a hour or so ( until bedtime in the summer)

So they wake at 3ish, and currently outside in park/ jumping in puddles/ running around until 4.15 ish ( simply too dark now for any later). They wear themselves out!

FeckOffCup · 27/12/2012 09:52

My just turned 2 year old hasn't had a daytime nap in bed for a couple of months but will still occasionally fall asleep in the buggy or car. I know exactly what you mean about it affecting bedtime, my DD is just the same if she has a daytime nap and I would be happy to see the back of the nap altogether (she doesn't seem bothered if she doesn't get one) but can't really do anything about her falling asleep in the car.

fromparistoberlin · 27/12/2012 09:52

i still let mine, otherwise he kips at five pm then its really late!!! that said it the holidays so a late bed is not end of world

Knittingnovice · 27/12/2012 09:58

Thermalmittens, it is young.

DS dropped his nap about the same time and DD was about 5/6 months old at the time. I was looking forward to lots of time with the 3 of us snuggled up on the sofa, which never materialised.

Don't stress about number 2, they will be completely different

trinitybleu · 27/12/2012 10:29

I stopped my DD napping at that age. She would stay up for an hour for every 10 minutes of nap! Nursery agreed she was fine without it but she used to go and have a lie down and listen to the story they read and had to lie still until the others were asleep, then they'd take her out with them. At home we gave her some similar quiet time.

She fell asleep in the car last weekend (up early, long and busy day, long journey, poorly). Had about 20 minute nap. Was up until 11.30pm.

ZebraInHiding · 27/12/2012 11:08

The transition period to no naps is hard. They still need it but t affects their nit sleep which means they need it more the next day. Vicious cycle. But after a month or maybe two they do adjust. Don't feel guilty!

Original poster
ThermalMittens · 27/12/2012 11:10

He's already very active - outdoors twice a day with the dog, as well as groups, etc. We're planning on sending him for a couple of nursery sessions a week from feb, ahead of no2 arriving, and they're going to be afternoon sessions which will hopefully help.

Kilmuir, he'll nap for about 2 hours (normally 12-2) if we let him.

OP posts:
BeyondStuffedWithXmassyGoodies · 27/12/2012 11:19

My DS1 is 2.3 and just about dropping his nap. At the mo, he can have it so long as he goes to sleep at 11.30 and sleeps no longer than 2 hours (a lot of the time though he wont sleep that long) however if he eats before his nap he cant sleep, and if hes asleep any later than about 2pm he will not sleep at night, and if he doesnt have a nap hes fine. He'd dropped down to one nap by 1, so I think he just isnt a sleeper must take after DH, certainly not after me!
He starts nursery in January, so I imagine his naps will stop completely then (starts at 12.30 but will need to eat lunch before rather than sleep, but any earlier for his doze and he wont sleep anyway)
DS2 is 8m, so at least we got a few months of family afternoon dozes... Grin

insancerre · 27/12/2012 11:27

It is young but not unheard of, they are all difeent after all.
Try putting him down on the sofa straight after lunch. Wake him up after an hour.
You want to avoid him getting tired and nodding off later towards teatime which is what he might do if you drop his sleep completely.
He might only need a nap every other day, you will have to see how it goes. After a couple of weeks aim to reduce the sleeps to 45 mins and then to quiet times as opposed to naps.

trixymalixy · 27/12/2012 11:29

YANBU. DD was about 18 months when she started dropping naps. If she napped in the day she would not go to sleep until 10pm. Every other day seemed to work for us at that point and then when she was 2 ish we let her nap if she seemed to need one, but didn't put her down for a regular nap.

DS on the other hand still had a nap until he was nearly 4. He could sleep for 4 hours during the day and still go to sleep at 7.30 and sleep through until 8. Every child is different.

Original poster
ThermalMittens · 27/12/2012 11:37

Ok, I'm going to try shorter naps every other day and see how that goes. Cross your fingers everyone that the next one's a sleeper!

OP posts:
OHforDUCKSchristmasCake · 27/12/2012 11:57

Its not young, its normal.

I know 4 year olds that still need naps and I know children who havent napped since they were 10 months old.

Your OP is a no brainer. He wont always be knackered in the day.

The exact same thing is happening to my 19 month old.

Chingchok · 27/12/2012 12:09

Knitting's plan is great, it worked for us at that age. Ours would even go down at 6 if he hadn't napped, but the afternoons were tough from 3pm onwards. So it would have to be active, but no sling, buggy or car rides. We did try quiet time, with some stories or whatever, then "wake-up" and a small snack. Now (almost 3) he can do an early nap of an hour tops, then bed by 7.30pm.

Basically every time we settle in a routine, it changes! I have to say that although exhausting, the nap + later bedtimes gave us nicer days - he'd be so shattered by 6 with no nap that he could barely eat dinner and never wanted a story or any time with his dad. Good luck, it's so hard!

noblegiraffe · 27/12/2012 12:18

That's a long nap. We ruthlessly woke my DS after about 45 minutes at that age, otherwise his night sleeping was awful.