to hang out with exs friends?

[queenrachel]

Me and my ex no longer speak. We don't have children together and it wasn't an extremely long relationship, but it was however very serious.

The break up wasn't the best, and it wasn't done with much maturity from either side. Unfortunately.

However I am moving back to the city where he lives (nothing to do with him). Would it be inappropriate to text one of his friends to hang out with?

-- So as not to drip feed.

-Ex introduced me to two friends whilst we were still friends.
-The night I was introduced ex had to leave and I stayed with the two friends and we had a great time together.

-His friend gave me his number.

• I have no attraction towards either friends (one has a girlfriend anyway).
• One of them asked me out previously for lunch.
• This would not be to get back at ex in any way.

I like the guys, I want to hang out with them because they are fun and also I don't know that many people in this area.

aibu?

I wouldn't. I would worry that they'd only invited me for lunch, given me their number, included me, etc, because I was the girlfriend of their friend and they were trying to make me feel welcome. I'd worry that they thought it a bit weird of me to try to insert myself into their friendship group and that they or my ex would interpret that as me trying to insert myself back into his life.

If you are moving back to the city where he lives, that implies you also lived there once. Don't you have any friends of your own?

Would be an odd thing to do and you'd place then in an awkward position, so unable to spend more time with you to avoid split loyalties, so, why bother? Just make a bit of effort to go out and find some friends of your own. You'll have a whole new social life before you know it and the idea of relying on your ex's social circle will appear odd to you too.

Yes I lived there but not for very long. It was to do with work.

Should have said when friend asked me out for lunch my ex was not my boyfriend at that time.

And should also add (sorry so trying not to drip feed).

I don't think these are close friends of ex. They don't hang out every week etc.

• also the city is in a different country, which is quite scary and it's nice to have the comfort of having people there that I already know IYSWIM

Btw Holly your comment comes across as quite cruel. Don't you have any friends?

Quite mean tbh.