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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she was exaggerating

92 replies

Bluebelleswood · 13/12/2012 12:43

I've just had coffee,in Costa, with a friend and my friends friend. I have never met this person before.

On her arrival, she announced that she had a terrible migraine.

It didn't prevent her drinking a large, sweet christmas special coffee with whipped cream. She also described her symptoms at length, and was generally very voluble and animated.

As a migraine sufferer myself I find the only way I can cope with migraine is to go to bed in a very dark room.

Aibu to think that she was exaggerating.

OP posts:

StrawberriesTasteLikeLipsDo · 13/12/2012 12:45

Why do you care

ZeldaUpNorth · 13/12/2012 12:45

I've only had 2 migraines in my life and both times i've had to lie down in a dark room, Dp, however, gets them regularly but still seems to be able to watch tv/play xbox. He just says his pain threshold is bigger than mine

Original poster

Bluebelleswood · 13/12/2012 12:49

Did you mean to be so rude Strawberry?

I've been dying to say that to someone!

OP posts:

Anniegetyourgun · 13/12/2012 12:52

I know, like the people who go out for the evening snuffling into a tissue and tell you they've got the 'flu.

MissCellania · 13/12/2012 12:53

She had a bit of a headache added to a massive drama queen complex.

WinklyVersusTheZombies · 13/12/2012 12:54

I've had 3 migraines, I've had to hide in the dark every time. I struggled to go to a friend's 30th birthday the day after one of them. There is no way I could have sat chatting in a coffee shop.

Jingleflobba · 13/12/2012 12:54

I've only ever had one, and that was enough. DH is damn near paralysed by them

AnyaKnowIt · 13/12/2012 12:57

I get mirgranes and could be able to sit in a coffee shop, my sight goes funny but could still see a screen.

Thistledew · 13/12/2012 13:02

I get migraines. Sometimes I just have to go to sleep in a darkened room until it passes, but sometimes, if I manage to get enough painkillers into me before it develops properly, then I just get a dull ache and a general uncoordinated feeling. I find that having a caffeinated drink and sugary food helps with the symptoms as well. I do find it hard to concentrate and that I have to speak really carefully to avoid slurring my words. I feel really spaced out, but have no idea really how I appear to other people- perhaps I come across as being bubbly and chirpy because I am massively overcompensating.

juneybean · 13/12/2012 13:05

I'd have been sick if I was in any way vertical with a migraine never mind quaffing caffeine (and I say that as someone who used to drink a lot of caffeine and could get withdrawal within hours!)

EldritchCleavage · 13/12/2012 13:05

Symptoms vary. I get terrible sight disturbance and probably wouldn't be able to take the bright lights in a cafe. IF she was very chatty and 'up'-seeming it's unlikely that her migraine was that bad. But don't hold it against her-as she hadn't met you before, perhaps she was trying really hard not to put a damper on things, and overdid it a bit?

hygienequeen · 13/12/2012 13:06

I thought i knew what a migraine was until i had one i.e it's not just a bad headache ... couldn't move, any light at all was blinding and struggled to not be sick, there's no way i could have left the house, luckily DH is very sympathetic and has been in the Country every time i've had one !

I have a friend who does similar " ooh i've a migraine now for FOUR days" and it does make me go

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas · 13/12/2012 13:08

Bless, she had a bad headache with a touch of dramaitis. What she didn't have was a migraine. But if you've never had one, you'll never know what one is like.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 13/12/2012 13:13

I've had them since I was a child. I also get a lot of headaches.

If you've experienced both you can be in no doubt of the difference, migraines are completely debilitating whereas with a headache you can function.

My mother claims she gets migraines.... yet takes two paracetamol and goes on with her day. Unlike me who has to retreat to a dark room and lie very still to avoid vomiting with the pain.

bakerbakerfairycaker · 13/12/2012 13:13

I have friends that state they have a migraine on facebook....no, love, you have a headache. If it was a real migraine the thought of the computer screen would make you wimper.

Pet hate of mine, gives real sufferers a bad name. (or at least the collegue that uses migraine as code for hangover).

youarewinning · 13/12/2012 13:17

Depends - I get an 'aura' feeling before a migraine sets in and feel spaced out and drunk with a funny firework feeling in my head, like being in a very bright room - well actually I feel as if I'm not totally there! Usually I can take painkillers straightaway and staved it off for a few hours. If I sleep before it settles in fully I can avoid the debilitating effects.

However sometimes they come on so fast and strong and I cannot do anything about it and am literally confined to bed unable to move or even lift my head. I've been known to be unable to close my eyes before when it's been that bad.

Luckily I have not had one for 18 months and actually not having one has made me realise how bad they were.

sleepyhead · 13/12/2012 13:17

I get visual migraines, often with no pain. I could probably stand meeting people in a coffee shop with one but I'd be very distracted and much prefer to be still somewhere dark and quiet.

I wouldn't call my migraines "terrible" though. I consider myself very lucky that they're so mild.

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas · 13/12/2012 13:19

Mild hijack, does anyone else get speech confusion? It happened to me once (I've only ever had 5 migraines) and it scared the shit out of me not to mention DH who thought I was having a stroke

scandy · 13/12/2012 13:22

Does it matter what she called it? Lots of people claim they have the flu, when clearly it's just a mild cold. It doesn't bother me what they call it, it's a non-issue, no?

Illgetmycoat · 13/12/2012 13:23

Blimey, I wouldn't drink a coffee if I had a migraine. The one time I did it, the flashing lights and blind spots went completely bonkers.

Loie159 · 13/12/2012 13:27

TBH Migraine can come in many different form. My whole family have them and I have been hospitalised with mine twice as they thought I had a stroke. However I have never ever had a headache with mine. I get familial hemerplegic migraine (SP???)- which essentially means it starts off with me feeling a bit wonky and drunk and very thirsty. Then it prgresses to me not being able to speak - apart from slurring and then I get numb down one side of my body. So in answer to your questions - it is possible that she doesnt get the headache part of migraine...... However everyone I know who has them - whether they have headaches or not cant really stand loud noises / bright places. And Im guessing if she did have one then she would have been the quietest person there - struggling to get through - not the loudest! But they can take many forms - not only the traditional headaches. I think she probably was drama'ing a bit!

badtime · 13/12/2012 13:28

I sometimes get migraines without the headache, and even that is horrendous (still get nausea, weird light effects and photosensitivity, weird physical symptoms and a sore neck). It is possible to get the reverse, and have a migraine headache without the other stuff. It is more likely this person has never had a migraine, and thinks it is another word for a headache.

uberalice · 13/12/2012 13:29

I get migraines with only mild symptoms. Not bad enough to have to lie down in a darkened room, but definitely not just a headache.

DeckTheHallsWithBartimaeus · 13/12/2012 13:34

Um I don't know it depends really.

I get migraines and I see a neurologist about it. First time I went I took at chart of all my days of migrianes where I'd "graded" the pain from 0 (no pain) to 4 (debilitating).

He found it really useful to identify the pattern but what was interesting was for me "3" was an almost migraine because it was the same type of pain but less intense than the "4" which was a migraine. From my description he said both were migraines just different intensities.

Some of my migraines, after medication, I can just about carry on with my day although I can't concentrate on difficult things (DH knows not to ask stupid questions on these days, like what do you want for tea ) and I try to get through the most important things at work quickly and then back home to bed.

Other migraines I can't get out of bed.

However, with a migraine I wouldn't go out the house unless strictly necessary (like for work - at one point I had migraines weekly and didn't want to keep calling in sick, had far too much work to do). I don't define a trip to a coffee shop as necessary probably because I hate coffee

DeckTheHallsWithBartimaeus · 13/12/2012 13:38

What do you mean by speech confusion wewilson ?

I can find it hard to articulate, but I always thought it's because of the pain meaning I can't concentrate well and that I live abroad so am always speaking a foreign language (which is just that much harder with a splitting headache!)

I do often find that talking to DH I give up half-way through cos it's too much effort to articulate.

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