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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that expecting a 1-year old to sit still

46 replies

NapaCab · 11/12/2012 20:03

and listen to stories for half an hour is expecting a lot? My DS is 14 months and I take him to a playgroup one morning a week. There is free play for an hour and then they have 'storytime' where they are all expected to sit still on hard chairs, not even on the ground, and listen to stories and songs for half an hour. My DS never sits still and won't sit on my lap either. He just wanders off to look at toys and will occasionally wander up to the playgroup teacher, stand at her knee and listen to one story but then wanders off again. Sometimes he pulls the pictures off the felt pinboard she has or picks up her puppets that she uses to tell the stories. I do tell him to sit down and listen but it doesn't seem to have any effect.

Is he a terribly behaved child with ADHD or something Hmm or is this totally normal for a 14 month old? The age group of the class is 13 months - 24 months so he is young but there are a couple of other kids his age in the class and they sit quietly (one of them is held in place in the chair by his grim-faced mother but never mind...).

I don't know much about child development but I thought it was completely normal for a 14 month old to be active and curious and loud, not sitting quietly in a chair for half an hour? The playgroup is starting to make me feel bad about my son so I'm starting to think I shouldn't take him anymore Hmm...!

OP posts:
FuckityFuckFuck · 11/12/2012 20:05

If you are not comfortable there, and they are starting to make you fell bad about your DS then I wwould swap to a friendlier one.

As for a 1 year old sitting still for half an hour? Hahahahahahahahaha

PoppyWearer · 11/12/2012 20:08

Normal. My 15mo can't sit still to save his life most of the time.

I have seen his whole nursery class sitting still in a circle for music time once but apparently that was a miracle and never normally happens.

tryingtoleave · 11/12/2012 20:08

Neither of my dcs ( not my difficult ds nor my good dd) would have sat still at that age. They have both been very good at preschool since 2-3

Scholes34 · 11/12/2012 20:10

If he won't sit still and listen, you shouldn't let him wander around and disturb others that are managing to sit still and listen. Some gentle encouragement might help. If not, I choose to leave at that stage of proceedings. Week on week, he might manage to sit still for a little longer each time.

catgirl1976geesealaying · 11/12/2012 20:11

My DS is one

He might........if he was tired, sit on my knee for half an hour for a story or zoning out to baby tv but there is no way he would sit still for half an hour on a hard chair in the company of other interesting looking babies

Do the other 1 year olds do this? If so I am Shock and possibly a bad mummy :(

Wheresmypopcorn · 11/12/2012 20:11

Totally normal, my 18 month old does not want to sit and listen, she rather plays. The playgroup I go to allows quiet play on the mat for kids who can't sit still. Actually, my friend's baby who is slightly younger than mine doesn't want to sit either - she likes to walk around. The playgroup should really be used to this, maybe you could pipe up in a loud voice that most playgroups have alternative space to meet the required needs of all the infants. :)

DIYapprentice · 11/12/2012 20:11

The only music time a child that age stays put for is one of those that has all the movements and activities that their parent does with them.... and then not even always!!!

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 11/12/2012 20:12

The only time my dd will sit still for half an hour is if she is into something she shouldn't be. Otherwise she will sit and listen to one story max, on my knee, then want to be down straight after like ive kept her prisoner there

Try a different group.

Softlysoftly · 11/12/2012 20:14

At our play group story time is in a seperate room as they know the Los won't sit for it, they can continue to play.

YaNBU to think most 1yr olds prefer to be active.

YABU to allow him to interrupt the others enjoyment by pissing about with the felt board and puppets. When you say "ineffective" to tell him do you mean you say "here sweetie pops don't do that" he ignores you, you do nothing?

If so that would really get on my nerves as weak parenting, say no, move him away, leave the room if he continues.

Original poster
NapaCab · 11/12/2012 20:15

The other 1-year olds (both 14/15 months) do sit in their chairs and listen! That's what makes me feel weird and think I'll take him to a different class from now on. One of them is admittedly held in place by his mother but I don't even know how she does that because my guy would scream the place down if I tried to hold him back from doing what he wants.

If he's being really cranky and won't sit still and starts to interrupt the story, then I take him home early but I do just wonder how these other mothers manage to get their kids to sit still. Are they glued to their chairs? Are they slipping some diazepam in their sippy cups (I live in the US...Grin). It's just weird. I feel like I'm reading some totally different parenting manuals to these people i.e. none at all.

OP posts:
Meglet · 11/12/2012 20:17

Yanbu. Why do people organise these groups and expect so much from babies + toddlers Confused.

BrianButterfield · 11/12/2012 20:18

I've taken my DS (15m)
to a group that does a story (for five minutes, not 30!). There are children of all ages from babies to preschoolers and only the over 2s sit still. There are always little toddlers squirming (although it's not really allowed to let them roam too much).

I sat DS on a dining chair today to do some stickers and a bit of colouring. For some reason I glanced at the time when we started and when he got down. It felt like ages and he was well-behaved, but it was three minutes! And I thought we'd had a good session.

DowagersHump · 11/12/2012 20:18

Your child sounds normal. The other ones sound like Stepford Children

RubyGates · 11/12/2012 20:19

I do 20 minute song and story sessions at the beginning of the academic year, gradually extending the time as the children get used to the idea of sitting and listening. Half-an-hour is too long, I'd say for most (but definitely not all) children of that age.

The children you see sitting still, may just be non-wrigglers or they may be used to doing it because they have been attending the session for longer than you and your child.

I'm an Early Years Library Outreach Worker.

lola88 · 11/12/2012 20:21

Ds is 10mo and managed 6 mins of the xmas story at playgroup today before we had to go to the other room he was the 3rd baby to leave

whatsforyou · 11/12/2012 20:21

The only way my 14 month old DS would sit still would be if I gave him a huge big bag of chocolate a little while later he would be bouncing of the walls but hey ho I wonder what they would make of me Shock

Don't feel bad OP, you have a normal, inquisitive, energetic little bundle of fun and I'm sure you wouldn't have him any other way. I agree with a previous poster, ditch the playgroup Grin

Original poster
NapaCab · 11/12/2012 20:21

Yes, Softlysoftly. I do stop him from interrupting the story and take him home early if he's being hyperactive but what I mean by saying it has no effect is that he will try to do the same thing again e.g. pull at the pinboard, even though I've told him not to. I have to hold him back or distract him to stop it.

It's strange because at home when I say to him 'no touching' or 'no!' he understands and won't do it e.g. our Christmas tree is still pristine and untouched after two whole weeks.

I don't know, I just find it stressful trying to get him to behave and he enjoys the more structured things I take him to much more e.g. a music class that is just an hour long and has structured interactive songs with movement and action and things they can touch, not just sitting still.

OP posts:
ballstoit · 11/12/2012 20:22

At the 1 year olds playgroup I attended with each of my DC they had a short story time (one story), while the children had a drink and fruit.

I think it's good to start encouraging sitting for a short time at this age, but any more than 10-15 minutes is pushing it.

Have you raised this with the group leader?

pigletmania · 11/12/2012 20:24

He is still a baby fgs there is going to be plenty of time for him to sit still in chairs. I would go to a more relaxed play group this does not sound right

Sargesaweyes · 11/12/2012 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedFromLeeds · 11/12/2012 20:28

It's a very specific age range for a playgroup. Aren't they normally drop-in, anyone can come type things?

It is not unusual for a 14 month old not to be able to sit still.

I imagine the story time is aimed at the older ones/the ones who will sit still.

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with your baby, there is nothing wrong with the playgroup, it's just not a good fit. Take him home early.

Startail · 11/12/2012 20:28

I don't think either of my DDs would have sat still at that age, DD certainly wouldn't. She'd be off finding something to climb.

DD2 would cooperate fairly well with singing group, but still for a story I think would be pushing it.

Sargesaweyes · 11/12/2012 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NapaCab · 11/12/2012 20:37

That's what I'm thinking Outraged. I always come away from the playgroup feeling bad about my son and his personality whereas at the music class I take him to, he has a great time and so do I. So not a good fit and I don't think I'll sign up for next year's term in January.

Just wanted some reassurance that others have 14 month olds who won't sit still!

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 11/12/2012 20:38

OP YABU to put up your Christmas tree so early.

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