about Christmas card etiquette?

[boschy]

We have only had 3 cards so far this year. None were charity (tho one was M&S, which has some blurb about recycling and the Forestry Commission).

One had a computer generated label - ok, I can live with that, just about. But inside was printed "Merry Christmas and lots of love from The Smith-Jones" (pseudonym). Our names were handwritten, but no other signature etc.

Now, in my book, cards MUST be charity, and should be brought from a proper charity, eg a charity shop or stall or via mail order, not those boxes you get in WHS which say "20p of this £4.99 will go to 200 different charities".

And you should also write a personal signature and preferably message. Round robins are a whole other subject...

AIBU?!

YABU but then I haven't sent any Christmas cards to anyone since 2006

YABU. There are no rules.

But I don't do cards either. One or two lucky people get an email, but mostly I can't be arsed.

IME charity cards are much more expensive than others. This year, i have about 40 to send out, so it'll be a box of 50 for £2 for me .

I buy next years cards after Christmas in the sales. Much cheaper. I also buy the wrapping paper and tags then too.

Yabu

Far better (for the charity) to buy cheaper cards and make a cash donation to the charity. Unless of course advertising your charitable donation is important to you.

YABU you are free to buy your cards where you wish but it is a little rude to make a critical examination of every card people have made an effort to send you. I do send cards to people I really value in my life but don't do the every mum at toddler group and every friend of my in-laws I have ever met that some people do. I would be upset if I thought people were looking to criticise me for my good intentions.

YABabitU (well, not really, just different to me)

I prefer charity cards (the RNLI are usually my favourite) but I don't mind what other people send me. It's nice to have lots of different designs.

I'd much prefer a handwritten signature, I don't mind so much about messages, but if they want to add a message I'd prefer it to be handwritten than generic.

If they're elderly/have trouble writing for whatever reason, I'd prefer a card with just a signature (not written 'to me' iyswim) rather than a printed one with my name written in. I don't know why though

The etiquette you mention is obviously your own. You can't expect others to follow it. Accept their best wishes for Christmas. Cross them off your Christmas card list if you're really not happy with them, but don't expect them to conform.

I have two cousins who don't live in my town. Invariably, they leave my Christmas cards with my aunt and uncle, so I don't tend to get them until after Christmas. This year, as always, I've posted theirs to them. I've included my address on the back, just in case they don't have it to hand, and posted them in good time to allow them to get to the post office, buy a stamp and post mine to me. If they fail to do so this year, they're off my list.

I have never seen the point of sending Christmas cards when all you write is "To Sue, Dave and family from Jenny, Mike and family". I mean, what actually does this achieve? It doesn't tell the the other people you are thinking of them, just that you mechanically wrote their names down off a list. I only send a few cards but include personal messages in them.

That should really have been a shouldn't it?

YABU

I can't afford charity cards. The ones I have sent have been made of fairly flimsy card too. Would you rather not get a card or get a cheap one (from out local independent shop, so supporting small business)

YABU.
I buy cards because I think they look nice, but am pleased if they are a charity card.
I do a big sponsored walk every year for the Hospice and raise a few hundred pounds. I have a monthly SO with the local Wildlife Trust and another Charity, so I think my charitable donations are covered. I didn't even know people would judge me by my Christmas Cards. Or is it just you?

I don't look to see where cards are from. I just look at the picture.
I find it a bit U that people check to see where the giver of the card bought it from.

Oops I moonpig most of my cards and get them sent direct (so much easier when you have no time and an autistic DS)

Up until this year when my gran said she didn't want any presents off us as we don't have much money, I told her we would still get her a card and she, very tactfully (which is not like her at all) said:

'oh yes please especially if your DS has scribbled in it I would love something he has done'

So I moonpigged the cards with DSs photo on and had to get them sent to mine first so DS could do his scribble and send them to family

YANBU about writing/printing; I think it's a bit off to print in your Christmas cards.

But YABU about them having to be charity cards ? and 'proper' charity cards at that. Are your judgypants warm and cosy?

gosh, I didnt think I was conducting a forensic examination, just commenting on the 3 we have received!

mrsHoarder supporting local business is good, but if you cant afford cards I would rather you didnt give me one because I dont know you well, and then I will have to give you one back, and so we are both spending money unnecessarily... ad infinitum.

spoons fair point about donating directly to the charity instead. But this year I have 3 different ones whose cards I have bought, would a £3 or £4 donation to each of them have made much difference? and then I would still have to have bought cards anyway...

In my book, YABU.

I'm not familiar with this charity card thing. Is it new?

YABU. There are no rules.

As for 'only 3 cards' - I think increasingly people aren't bothering with cards these days. I haven't done for years. Also, it's only the 11th December!

"I do flip the card over to see which charity people chose, as it's interesting and often significant to the sender, but I have stopped judging because it's lovely to be remembered."

well this, and I do choose my charity cards for personal significance.

Next year I might just give up

Well that tells me... I don't send ANY Christmas cards at all. Instead, I send a fairly generic email to everyone I would have sent a card to, explaining that I have donated £30 to the NSPCC instead. Personally, I think that's the best way to donate to charity at Xmas, bur I do not judge ANYONE on the card they have chosen for me, just appreciate the fact they have thought of me. Each to their own....

Well I wouldn't be sending you one, I send them to friends from university and family, both categories of people I try to communicate with regularly and see as often as is practical given budget and time constraints. Not send hundreds off with printed off labels (in fact all the cards I've sent so far have contained a handwritten letter).

And actually I'm glad I don't bother if people are going to just use it as an opportunity to judge and criticise me for writing them wrong, or buying them from the wrong place or something .