Neighbours and having to listen to them (blush)

[Notcontent]

So, some new neighbours just moved in a couple of weeks ago next door. I am just sitting up in bed and have realised I can hear them having sex. It's just a bit disconcerting hearing "ooh, aah" over and over again. It's a terrace and the walls are thin but I didn't think they were that thin.

Having been on mumsnet for a while now, I think it's quite a common problem, isn't it? Not much I can do is there - I mean even if I did tell them (and I couldn't!!!!) there is probably not much they can do!!
Just glad they are not next to DD's bedroom.

Tell me I am not the only one to have this problem!!!!

I once saw a gag email on this matter where a fellow realised too loud/walls too thin when he logged into his wifi and saw the neighbours had changed the name of their wifi network to 'We can hear you having sex" - awkward!

Perhaps not quite as disconcerting as my friend's problem.

She can hear the old lady in the flat upstairs, pleasuring herself quite loudly now and then

The woman's quite deaf so probably has no idea how loud she is.

It is awkward but I'd rather hear sex than 'fuck off you bitch, if you don't I'm going to fucking knock you out' :( we used to have the sex problem but its mainly just arguing now.

Have a tune you put on every time you can hear them, if you use the same song each time it happens, they will soon realise you can hear them and quieten down a bit.

All you now have to decide is what tune to play.

We have same problem. Although the sex is significantly less of a problem than their DCs up, about and making a LOT of noise at 5am.........

Fire starter by the prodigy. We used to play this when our flat mate who had the room above was, ahem, loudly at it.

'Lets get it on' will blatantly let them know you can hear them

Play the Benny Hill theme tune

I love all your suggestions!
Yes, it could be worse - they could be arguing or watching really loud tv all night....

Just shout back louder

just join in. call out encouragement.

Play the sound of a baby crying

PMSL at the evil genius song / sound suggestions :o

Just enjoy it

There was an article by someone somewhere about using your wireless router name to send messages to your neighbours. You could name yours something like "STOP FAKING IT!"

I think song idea could be a lot of fun, If you are careful to make sure each and every time they are having sex you play the same song, you could help them in a few years when they start to turn in to arguing couple, you could then play it, and they would suddenly have the need to have sex, you could probably get funding for the study.

barry white or would that just encourage them,

Rocket man, might be funny, unless it's a gay couple and they are female.

I hear my neighbours too, we are in an old terrace. I used to find it a bit uncomfortable but tbh I just accept it now, sex is part of everyday life after all and it shouldn't be any worse than hearing them in the bathroom or watching TV. I don't think it's fair when people complain about the noise, after all you have the choice to put some music on some headphones or wear earplugs if you can't stand it.

Also, if you can hear them, chances are they can probably hear you.

Rename your wifi.
Mark them out of 10 for effort and shout their scores to them once its all gone quiet.
Shout I know your faking through the walls during a particularly loud session.

There's a thread in Classics about this very thing!

Shout marks out of ten

Or a slow hand clap at the denouement

"Let's Get It On" played is good

I think we are quite noisy, but thankfully the neighbours will only hear if the windows are open. Which has happened

Great minds, IANOR

*IANAR

Dh applauded our neighbours after a particularly active session. Never heard them again.

You could shout 'sevennnnn'' like that old geezer on Strictly!

That French song from the 70s - Je t'aime!!