Re children's party?

[Liskey]

Its Dd third birthday soon and i've invited some of my friends who are also parents of DD's friends to a little party, only 4 or 5 children as its being held at home (appreciate it'll be close to Christmas when its held and some people might be away) and got a decline recently from a friend saying basically can't come as their child will be grumpy if they miss their nap.

I've gotten upset as I thought we were close (& I don't have many Mum friends) I know from seeing the childminder who looks after the child that they frequently miss a nap with her. Appreciate it does mean the routine would be disrupted and she will be grumpy but surely that's just part of them getting older?

Maybe she can't afford a present and doesn't want to say.

An AIBU thread about a children's party?
What time of day is the party?

This is the first time i've posted in Aibu so your not reassuring me there 3b1g.

It's planned for mid afternoon as I though more people would be free then?

I thought the same and I didn't even get to read the other thread before it zapped.

OP

Try not to take it personally, could be she just can't bear the thought of one more afternoon if grumpyness in the run up to Xmas expectations with all the potential for missed naps.

Mine were all still having naps at that age, but I would have been happy for them to skip the nap to go to a friend's party.

That's true re present and also general grumpiness I suppose.

I'm getting upset I suppose as I have a dec birthday too and always had terrible birthdays and hate the thought of poor DD having the same thing happen to her (especially as she was meant to arrive in Jan!)

TBH, I did the same when mine were tiny- not only were they nightmares if they missed their nap, but it messed up the rest of the day/evening. AND I was a first time mum (to twins) and was utterly wedded to my routine. It was what kept me sane, but also was the reason I didn't do afternoon playgroups/meet ups/ parties. If I was to have another baby, I expect I'd be more laid back...

Don't be too harsh on your friend- your DC is your top priority, her DC is hers.

I can understand you being upset though - people can be a real stickler for their kids' naps until it's inconvenient for them and then they will force their kids out no matter what! I don't think it would hurt for the routine to be interrupted once for a friends' child's birthday party - it's not like you're having a party every single day!! I have often noticed how the poeple who insist on having their rules about naptimes/playdates etc are always the first to be offended if you turn round to them and refuse an invitation because of the DC for one reason or another. Perhaps just keep a note of this and see what happens next - and enjoy the party!

Maybe she doesn't know the child misses nap with cm. Maybe she does know, and is in an ongoing battle about it.

Even if it is a flimsy excuse, that just means she doesn't want to go to your party, not that she hates you or anything. There are any number of good reasons to avoid parties, even small ones.

Thanks for the sanity check everyone - it's appreciated.

Mid afternoon is a bit of a crap time. Not mealtime so you need to amuse the little darlings more and nap time.

Will you be having a pirate or princess bouncy castle?

Is it any of the guests birthday that day too?

What about moving to lunchtime - any dc still napping at that age would be doing so in the afternoon - at least with lunchtime the dc will be fed which parents would appreciate and it wouldn't clash with naps.

Your friend is being a bit precious about naps but maybe her dc is quite dependant on naps?