DD's 5th party - AIBU or is ex P?

[neuroticmumof3]

DD is having quite a big party on Sunday. I've been arranging it for about 2 months. I have invited her whole class plus a few other dc she knows. I sent out invites about 2 wks ago, ex P knew we were doing them.

Today he got stroppy with me because I haven't invited his friends' children. I got some spare invites out and offered to do them but he got arsey and said don't bother.

There are several reasons I hadn't invited them;

• dd is friendly with several of them but only sees them 2 or 3 x per year
• they all live in a different town to us so she doesn't see any of them unless ex p arranges it, which he rarely does
• i invited them all to last year's party - one didn't turn up despite accepting (so basically I paid £14 for someone who didn't come) but she wasn't invited to any of their parties last year
• ex p hadn't mentioned inviting any of them

So, AIBU?

Are you doing the arranging of the party. Personally, if they didn't bother with DD usually and I was doing all of the organising then I wouldn't invite them either.

YANBU.

How much is he paying towards this party? I assume he must be to insist his own friends kids are invited.

But if he hasn't mentioned it, why would invite any of them.

YANBU - if you ex wanted to invite guests, he had plenty opportunity to speak to you about it. Is he helping out with the costs? If so, then he should have had input, but if he's simply left it all to you then he can hardly complain IMO. I'm sure your DD would love to invite every child she's every played with/met/spent time with but you need to draw a line somewhere. The whole class is plenty IMO, and if other kids are also invited, then I'm sure you'll have your hands full as it is.

YANBU. If he was interested in the guest list he should have raised it before now.

Phew. Was a bit worried I'd get a flaming. I have organised and paid for everything. He hasn't offered any money and I haven't asked (I don't see the point). I have kept him updated about what I'm doing as I'm so excited I can't help but show him party bags, stickers, balloons etc etc. So I feel he's had plenty of opportunity to have input but imo he just can't be bothered.

It was her actual birthday today. Last night at about 8pm he asked what he should get her! Then he turned up today after school with no present and worse still imo no card. He then went out and got her a decent present (leap pad thing) but still no card! So he's put about 5 mins effort into her birthday in total.

Fuck 'im then!
You offered to rectify and he decided to be petulant, so tough.

He sounds like a star . YANBU, just ignore.

Yep yanbu, definitely.

If he wants a party for his friends to attend, let him pay for it.