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AIBU?

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Original poster

to find naming our baby difficult

60 replies

turnleft · 20/11/2012 15:39

I am currently in a dither about what to name our impending bundle of joy and however hard I try, I just cannot make a decision. I think the main reason is that the names I really like don't go with our rubbish surname and therefore can't use them. That means she will end up with a name that is not my favourite if you see what I mean.

So, this might seem like a daft question but, how did you come up with a name for your DC - especially if you couldn't use the name you would have liked to for whatever reason.

Lovely DH has no opinion whatsoever on the issue of names - 'names are just words' apparently - so no help there. I know it all sounds a bit daft but this is a genuine enquiry - how do you go about choosing a name?

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 20/11/2012 15:45

First one was named after I saw the name on the credits of a tv show and thought "oh I like that"
Second one was named after 6 weeks of dithering, came up with a name that we both liked but my DF kept taking the micky and would have still been doing so when he was 18 so we found another name that we liked (good decision)
Third one was a girl and I always knew what I wanted to call a girl
Fourth, getting desperate by now, named after the goalkeeper in a football match! (Still regret that one, Grin, the name not the child)
The fifth one, we made a list of all the names we could live with (individually) and only one came up on both lists. Job done
There had better not be a number 6!!

Justforlaughs · 20/11/2012 15:46

I don't get the whole naming the bump thing. I often look at a baby and think that they don't look like I thought they would. You've got 6 weeks after they are born to make up your mind, don't rush into it.

fedupofnamechanging · 20/11/2012 15:48

If I was dead set on a name, I would consider changing my last name back to my maiden name, if that went better than my married name (or vice versa).

To answer your question, I just bought the biggest name book I could find and ploughed through it until 'the one' jumped out at me.

Please don't settle for a name you are not 100% sure of - so many people do and are then on MN 6 months down the line, asking if it's too late to change it.

I'm sure you will find one - there a lots of gorgeous names out there and 'yours' will turn up.

NoraGainesborough · 20/11/2012 15:48

While pg with dd, we could not agree a boys name at all. So lucky she was a girl. When I was pg the second time we had the name picked from the day I found out it was a boy.
The reason was that its the only (and I mean only) name we could agree on. We like the longer version and the shortened versions. Its also the name of my favourite historical figure.

Lots of people asked 'how do you know it will suit them', well both mine suit their name that's were picked before birth so either I was just lucky or the whole 'suiting a name doesn't exist'

The name we chose could also be changed slightly and could be a girls in case the scan was wrong and he was a girl.

Everyone picks them differently. Some people always know what names they want to use. Some people wait til they are born, some have a short list.

I loved the meaning of dds name.

RosannaBanana · 20/11/2012 15:51

Agree with justforlaughs. We didn't go with any of our shortlist for DD- they didn't suit her. We went to the longlist.

auntmargaret · 20/11/2012 15:52

I'm a big believer in waiting to see what the baby looks like. My DD1 didn't have a name for 3 weeks (Well, had one for a couple of hours until my sister called her it and I yelled across the room "That's not her name!") Back to the drawing board and we eventually called the name I'd always liked. DD2 was called a name that I would never have thought of before seeing her, but it works. No need to put yourself under pressure, you have plenty of time to decide.

anklebitersmum · 20/11/2012 15:54

We did grandparents and parents names or derivatives thereof. Number four (DS2) was 10 days old and still 'babyanklebiter" because we couldn't decide and when DS2 (no.3) was born even though we had names for boy and girl chosen we still changed our minds Grin

No hurry. Take a good long look at "babyturnleft" even if you decide beforehand on xx for boy and xy for girl and don't forget to say it out loud in full and abbreviated with surnames! (Trust me on this bit).

EasilyBored · 20/11/2012 15:55

I really liked a name that had a bit of a hard alliteration with our surname, and DH thought it was a bit 'out there'. We had a selection of names that we liked but couldn't agree on. In the end, I was in labour (going through transition I think) and the midwife asked if we had a name, I said 'we're naming him x', looked at DH and he said 'OK' in a 'give the woman anything she asks for right now!' way. In the end we both love his name. And it suits him.

Although, ahem, DH has taken to calling him Spartacus (I guess it kind of rhymes?) and now the baby turns round when you call it. FFS.

carrotcruncher · 20/11/2012 15:56

I think that a name will come to you after your bundle of joy is born.Maybe something special might happen on that day apart from you having a lovely little baby.I'm sure you will take a look at the baby and say you are a 'so n so' (name) .It will be staring you in the face and there will be no getting away from it

chris481 · 20/11/2012 15:57

I avoided any names in the top 50 of the list compiled by the Office for National Statistics.

www.ons.gov.uk/ons/publications/re-reference-tables.html?edition=tcm%3A77-266770

FredFredGeorge · 20/11/2012 15:57

Change your "rubbish surname" to something that goes with the names you like?

valiumredhead · 20/11/2012 15:57

We named ds after a good family friend and it was the only boy's name we both agreed on.

Wait until he/she is born and decide what they look like :)

EasilyBored · 20/11/2012 16:00

You have quite a few weeks after the baby is born, before you have to register a name, so maybe take some time to see if a name fits.

My sis (if I am remembering correctly) tried out a few names on her DS2 before settling on one?

valiumredhead · 20/11/2012 16:01

6 weeks iirc.

Spuddybean · 20/11/2012 16:10

dp and i could find loads of girls names we liked but only one name either of us could tolerate for a boy. It was a boy and we named him the name and i don't think it suits him much yet, but i'm sure it will. I'm so glad we didn't wait till he was born to see what suited him as we would have argued for the whole 6 weeks then ended up with something one of us disliked.

We have a double barrel surname so every name sounded poncey. It the end we decided just to accelerate into the corner, rather than try to minimise the damage as it were, and ds has a poncey first name too. in for a penny in for a pound!

If dp didn't care tho, it would have been easy.

What's so awful about your surname?

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 20/11/2012 16:12

Easily I am all curious about your baby's name now, sort of rhymes with Spartacus? Is it Atticus? Grin

EasilyBored · 20/11/2012 16:13

It is not Atticus, although that was on my list. Husband decided Atticus was too 'emo', whatever that mean.

It kind of rhymes. The last half of it rhymes with the first half of Spartacus. Think Jaspar, but not.

TheCraicDealer · 20/11/2012 16:30

Rufus?

Teafairy · 20/11/2012 16:34

We had a short list each time of 5 or 6 names (didn't know if we were having a boy or girl, so 2 short lists really) and then when baby arrived we just sort of knew, luckily we both agreed each time-or maybe my girls really do look like their name if that makes sense. But don't worry too much, you do have 6 weeks.

squoosh · 20/11/2012 16:36

Geoff for a boy.
Sandra for a girl.

Happy to help Smile

RichardSimmonsTankTop · 20/11/2012 16:39

If you're in the UK you get six weeks to name your baby. I really wish we'd waited. We were all in a spin after DD was born and there was SO much pressure from friends/relatives to name her that we gave her a name that I'm not hugely keen on.

So DON'T make any rash decisions and don't get pressurised!

Spuddybean · 20/11/2012 16:40

i don't understand those who say you have 6 weeks to decide. if you can't decide in 9 months what good is 6 weeks panicking with a looming deadline going to do. I think if i'd left it to after ds was born i would have got all overwhelmed and called him Nebuchadnezzar or something!

flyingspaghettimonster · 20/11/2012 16:50

Our firstborn was called "Biscuits" until the last day to register her. Up until then I had been trying to get family to agree to let me name her Lorellei. Everyone hated it, but I loved it. When they wouldn't go for it, I stopped caring. Then I randomly decided on Rosa Marie, and my husband said Rose Marie was better. So we tossed a coin outside the registry office and he won, and he was named. It felt weird having a name to call her after so long dithering. I still wish she was Rosa, but she does suit Rose and probably wouldn't have suited Lorellei.

Why not wait till you see the baby? It is harder here in the States as we have to name the baby before leaving hospital! 2 days is not long enough to think of a lifetime-worthy name.

RichardSimmonsTankTop · 20/11/2012 17:00

Spuddy - in our case, a very well known celeb called her baby the name we'd chosen, days before my DD was born. It was a name we absolutely loved and we didn't have a back up!

MoragG · 20/11/2012 17:10

Only 21 days to register a birth in Scotland, not 6 weeks! DH and I went through a name book separately, did lists, and then compared them to see if we had any in common.