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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to question my boss?

25 replies

Flojo1979 · 19/11/2012 23:11

I work as a special needs assistant in a primary school on a 1-1 basis. The boy I look after is in yr 6 so I will be out of a job in July.
A child in reception has just been diagnosed with the same condition as this boy.
The head teacher has asked 3 different members of staff to help out to support him while she advertised for 1-1 assistant.
She didn't ask me.
Does she not want me to stay?
I feel quite upset, does she think I'm no good at my job? Does she not like me?
Should I ask her tomorrow? Is there a reason why I wasn't asked? Is there a problem with my work?

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 19/11/2012 23:13

because there is nealy a year between your job ending and the beginning of the job being advertised. the rreception child needs help now? you are not available til next september.

CoolaSchmoola · 19/11/2012 23:14

If you are on a fixed term contract (assume you could well be as you lose your role when your charge leaves the school) then they have to advertise it.

I would worry if you aren't asked to apply, or if it isn't mentioned to you.

sausagesandwich34 · 19/11/2012 23:14

perhaps she didn't ask as the 2nd child will need support sooner than september and you are working with another child until the end of the academic year?

never hurts to ask the question though

whois · 19/11/2012 23:15

Don't stew over it - just ask if you could be considered!

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 19/11/2012 23:16

Well one of the other people asked to help out, also does 1-1, the same hrs as me. Except her child doesnt have the same condition, so you'd think I was the better placed one to help unless its personal.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 19/11/2012 23:18

How can you possibly do it if you already have a child in year 6 to work with?

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 19/11/2012 23:22

I do part time, this other child is for afternoons.
She could rejig my hours so I did all mornings with one and all afternoons with other.
Or she could have asked me to help out on my afternoons off instead of asking 3 other people.

OP posts:

RyleDup · 19/11/2012 23:23

Are they not planning to start someone until next july then?

RyleDup · 19/11/2012 23:24

Sorry x post. Well, all you can do is ask really isn't it.

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 19/11/2012 23:29

They have asked these 3 staff members to help out til January and she expects to employ someone by then.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 19/11/2012 23:35

Trouble is i'll just say it all wrong and come across as churlish and jealous of the other 3.

OP posts:

CocoPopsAddict · 19/11/2012 23:37

You could phrase it as an offer, e.g. would you like me to work extra hours to support the child in reception?

WorraLiberty · 19/11/2012 23:44

Exactly what Coco said.

Offer to do it and then the ball's in their court.

HanSolo · 19/11/2012 23:44

Sorry to bring it up, but I have not been overly impressed by your opinions on a number of threads... perhaps people in rl aren't either, and can see this as an opportunity to let you go?

pingu2209 · 20/11/2012 08:06

As a parent of a SEN child, I would not want my child's final year to be disrupted by changes in his INA support. Perhaps the school head is considering his pupils' needs before his staff, which is how it should be.

I know it personally affects you and you must be worried about next year and being out of a job.

NoraGainesborough · 20/11/2012 08:17

Perhaps the three other people have made it clear they are happy to change/ increase hours.

Perhaps you need to look closer to home if you feel you can not ask if you can apply for a position without coming across as 'churlish' and 'jealous'

CarpeJugulum · 20/11/2012 08:25

If you think you're going to come across as churlish, then maybe email her.

Along the lines of "I know you're busy and paths don't often cross and I wouldn't want to put you on the spot."

The worst she can do is say no - but I do suspect that it is perhaps them not wanting to disrupt your current charge; maybe the other staff don't need to be rejigged to cover the shortfall.

cheeseandpineapple · 20/11/2012 08:27

Blimey HanSolo that's a bit punchy..

OP, as others have suggested, would offer to help out, mention to Head you've seen that she's trying to make temporary arrangements while recruiting someone for the role and you were wondering if there was anything you could do given the situation and your experience in this particular area and say you're happy to adjust your working hours if she wants to explore this as an option.

For those saying the Head needs to put child first, I agree but I would think it would be less disruptive for the child to work with you long term if you're qualified to, rather than with 3 different staff before a permanent solution is found.

If there is a quality issue behind why you haven't been approached as opposed to oversight or that you haven't already volunteered, have you had any appraisals to suggest a quality issue or is your impression that the Head/school are happy with your work?

cheeseandpineapple · 20/11/2012 08:30

Oh and is there a big difference between supporting a 10/11 year old and a 4/5 year old, could that have impacted the decision?

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 20/11/2012 08:35

When she took me on I'd come from KS1 so unless she's forgot that.
Maybe its just an oversight.
Or like others have said maybe she doesn't want to rejig my hours although it wouldn't affect my current child really.

OP posts:

NoraGainesborough · 20/11/2012 12:35

But does she know you want to increase your hours?
From your thread recently I know you are a newly single parent.
Perhaps she feels she doesn't want to put you under more pressure by asking for you to do more or change your hours.

She may actually think she is doing you a favour.

ClippedPhoenix · 20/11/2012 12:37

Maybe she just thinks you might not want the extra hours.

Just put yourself forward.

EmmelineGoulden · 20/11/2012 14:22

"Trouble is i'll just say it all wrong and come across as churlish and jealous of the other 3."

This indicates to me that your communication skills aren't great. And that might be one of the reasons she hasn't asked. If you can't talk directly with your boss about an issue it doesn't bode well for your working relationship.

So why not talk to someone at the school whom you get on with and who seems to work well with the Head Teacher, see if they would be willing to mentor you on this specific thing. Ask them why they think you haven't been asked and how they think you should approach the head and what to say. Get them to let you practice on them so you can fine tune what you say (and work through any issues you have about this - such as the resentment at not being asked).

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 20/11/2012 23:43

Hansolo thanx for that.
I bottled it today, didn't speak to head teacher, my confidence is at rock bottom as it is so I don't think I can stand going cap in hand asking why not me. It sounds pitiful.
I think I'll just continue working hard til July then find a job where I am appreciated.

OP posts:

cheeseandpineapple · 21/11/2012 22:37

Flo, send an email, offering support and option to be flexible on your hours.

Worst case, she declines your offer and you carry on working hard til July and find new job.

Best case, she gives it a think.

Draft an email and post it on here if you want input.

Ignore negative and personal comments from this thread, they don't know you and your situation so their conjecture is baseless. We make comments here, without constraint and in no way should be judged on how we do our jobs in RL based on our comments here.

Anonymity is double edged.

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